General Session 1
RUSSELL MOORE – @drmoore
The Cross as Family Crisis
John 19:16-36
In family, we have the possibility of experiencing a blessing as well as having our hearts completely broken.
As Jesus is being crucified, family is all over this story. Because Jesus, as He is being crucified is able to look and see His mother.
God through the family, has prepared Jesus for this moment. The beautify and the horror of what it means to be a family in a broken world.
We need to get to a place of vulnerability in our families so we can lead people to the cross.
There’s no such thing as a Christian that is all alone.
Jesus is at the cross because He did not live up to His families expectations.
Honor and love family by not putting family first.
In secularized America, we sometimes put too much emphasis on family.
The prosperity Gospel of the family. Constantly Instagrammable family, if I do right. This is not what Scripture teaches.
Because the FAMILY is the signpost for the Kingdom of God it is one of the most intense arenas for spiritual warfare.
JON FORREST – @jondforrest
Fight
It’s not chill the good chill, it’s fight the good fight.
Lazarus, Mary, and Martha.
If you spend more time being angry at people not doing what they are supposed to be doing than being in awe of Jesus, you need some recalibration.
Jesus doesn’t stop Mary from opening up with jar of perfume. He is worth it. That is not an offering too large for our Savior.
PHILIP NATION – @philipnation
Building Great Habits of Discipleship
We’ve got to rework how it is we naturally go about these kinds of things.
We must move past the bad habits of discipleship and move to the good habits found in Phillipians 2.
Bad habits of discipleship:
#1 The library – We think discipleship is just knowledge transfer.
#2 The metronome – Behavior modification.
#3 The carousel – Entertainment – Bright and moving but going no where.
“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed–not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence–continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” Philippians 2:12-13
4 things for you to hold onto and apply.
1. The habit of growth
“As you have always obeyed.” No one drifts towards holiness. It’s quite the opposite. We slowly move away. Make growth a habit. Exert every muscle in your being. Hurt the next day. It’s why they’re called spiritual disciplines. Work at your salvation.
2. The habit of worship
“not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence.” What if the radical living we are called to by the radical Christ is where worship is the norm? Jesus wasn’t soft on sin. Both congregationally and moment by moment of the trusting God. What happens in your family and in your life when worship becomes habitual and just normal? Fear and trembling looking to Christ.
3. The habit of submission.
“Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you.” It’s not a transitional but a transformative relationship with God. What if we had a habitual submission to the power of God? Our relationship with God is an absolute surrender of control to the power of God who is working within you. The spiritual disciples are not the goal, Jesus is.
4. The Habit of Mission
“for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” Romans 1:5 our work is to bring about obedience to the faith. God is at work in you and adjusting your will, you attitude, your wants, and your desires. Work on the mission of me or the mission of God. Work out of the flesh or the Kingdom of God. Pivot the people of God from being consumers to missionaries.
Put your yes on the table and then ask God what’s up for discussion.
General Session 2
PAM TEBOW
The Ripple Effects of Living Out Deuteronomy Six
Be sure you are intentionally impacting others with the gospel by how you live your life.
If you want to possibly impact the people around you, you need to be intentional. This is the ripple effect, you impact someone who impacts someone else.
We don’t know the impact God’s Word will have on our kids.
Teach children if they want to have a positive impact on others, they use live their lives in a way that follows the Gospel.
Love kids unconditionally as God has loved us unconditionally.
Psalm 62 is my security scripture. We need security because there are a lot of storms in life.
We wanted our children to know that God’s Word has made us adequate for what He Has planned for us to do.
Find your security Bible verses, know that God is your refuge.
Children are a gift from the Lord. We had a game plan along the way, which was based on teaching our kids the Word of God and loving them unconditionally as God loves us.
CHRISTOPHER YUAN – @christopheryuan
A Prodigal and His Parents’ Journey to the Father
When you encounter Christ, He will impact every area of your life.
Nothing is more important than following Christ.
A powerful and dangerous prayer: Lord, do whatever it takes to bring this prodigal son to you.
“God’s kindness leads us toward repentance.” Romans 2:4
God’s Word is the most powerful sword to pierce even the hardest of hearts that are full of sin.
What we have in our Bibles is not just ink on paper. It is the very breath of God.
I stopped letting my desires control who I am and instead surrendered to Jesus.
My identity should not be defined by my sexuality. My identity MUST be in Jesus Christ alone.
The question is not “When is it too early to talk about sexuality with our kids?” But in 2019, “When is it too late?”
The opposite of homosexuality isn’t heterosexuality, it’s holiness.
The opposite of every sin struggle is holiness! Change is not the absence of temptations, but to surrender and seek holiness in Jesus.
Holy Sexuality and the Gospel Book https://christopheryuan.com/books/holy-sexuality-and-the-gospel/
Out of a Far Country Book https://christopheryuan.com/books/out-of-a-far-country/
To Parents of Prodigals:
You are not the cure.
You are not the cause.
The goal of Christian parents is not to produce godly children, but to be godly parents.
Parents, Adam and Eve had the perfect Father and the perfect environment and they still failed.
General Session 3
RON HUNTER – @ronhunter
The Art of Meaningful and Influential Conversations With Your Kids
Without relationship, there is no influence.
Being related is not the same as a relationship.
Why don’t we enter into our kid’s world rather than try to force them to enter ours?
Kids let electronics be the barrier. Parents let kids with the electronics be the barrier.
Extroverts
Introverts
James 3:1-2 Influence of Speech
Proverbs 17:27-28 reduce negative (wear down)
Colossians 4:6 Full of Grace (seasoned with salt)
Ephesians 4:29 Build up others (our kids)
Talk – The ingredients of a conversation.
Topic – high/low or best/worse or made/sad/glad
Ask – tennis ball game – What made it bad or good? Ask follow up questions. Say, “Tell me more.” Say, “Help me understand that or what do you think should have happened.” Teach them how to think about what went on and learn from it for next time.
Listen: Your kids can tell if you’re actually concerned or not. Conversation is not one way.
Kudos: Let them hear 60-80% of who they are rather than what they have done. Teacher picks career path.
Abe – Formula for Meaningful Conversations
Lincoln tackled the tough topics with a great tone. He measured his words and understood the power of the tongue.
Approach – Two keys, intentionality and attitude. Schedule your family time. Table Time is valued over vacations and other family activities by kids. Connect with your kids instead of correcting your kids.
Brain – Share more than truth with them, share the reasoning that helped you arrive at the conclusion.
Emotion – Dime vs. Nickel “As seen on TV” Because a child learns through relationships…that’s where they adopt values of those they respect.
General Session 4
JIM WIDEMAN – @jimwideman
GrandPartners
Deuteronomy 6 wasn’t just written to pastors, it was written to parents and parents who happen to be pastors.
What if the church and the home had another partner?
“Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” Deuteronomy 4:9
God has always had a purpose and a plan for everything He has done.
Have you ever heard of a church that offered training for a grandparent?
God is giving you a second chance to correct your parenting mistakes.
Parents need support, this is why naturally there are 4 grandparents and 2 parents.
Grandfriends: Those who are adopted grandparents to pass on the faith to the next generation.
We have an opportunity to meet this mission field like never before. Are we going to take advantage of this partner to leverage what we are called to do in family ministry? God is calling us to help grandparents and grandfriends to be the partner God is calling them to be.
LISSY RIENOW
An Insider Look at Building Heart Connection Within Families
Malachi 4:5-6
“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet
Before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.
And he will turn
The hearts of the fathers to the children,
And the hearts of the children to their fathers,
Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.”
My family, who loves me the most, get to see the absolute worst of my personality.
Who you are at home, is who you really are.
My character needs some serious improvements. I need to grow in Christlikeness.
Relationship has to come before discipleship. Relationship is the foundation.
So many teenagers have expressed to me they wished their parents would take more initiative to pray and talk about their faith with them at home.
Family discipleship doesn’t stop with you as parents. It’s an all in family mission with Christ.
MICHAYLA WHITE – @michaylawhite
Millennial Parents of Faith
Millennials…
Parents are boomers
Most diverse generation’
Largest living generation
Highly educated
Digital natives.
These are just facts, not context!
Have you ever been to a movie late?
What do they think about the church?
Barna Group Research
Nomads: 18-29-year-olds with a Christian background who have walked away from church engagement yet still consider themselves Christian.
Prodigals: 18-29-year-olds who have a Christian background but have lost their faith, describing themselves as “no longer Christian.”
Exiles: 18-29-year-olds who have a Christian background and are still invested in their Christian faith but feel stuck (or lost) between culture and the church.
98.6% of millennial parents highly agree it is very important to me that my children grow up to know, love, and serve Jesus.
29.6% of millennial parents highly agree I make reading my Bible a regular part of my day.
We want our kids to love Jesus but don’t understand what discipleship looks like in an everyday life.
Not committed to our programs but they are committed to relationships.
They need a teammate and they need someone to pass them the baton.
Dorsey’s 3 Factors for Millennial Employer Loyalty
First Impressions – Many Millennial decide on the first day of work whether they can imagine themselves being there long term.
Clear Path of Engagement – Millennials want to understand the organization quickly and desire to be provided with specific examples of the performance you expect.
Regular Feedback – Frequent, clear, specific feedback is the way Millennials gauge their effectiveness it builds their connection to their role.
When it comes to decision making for committing to a church home…Millennial Parents Prioritize:
1. Theological Alignment
2. Children’s Ministry
3. Preaching and Worship
Safety + Security – aligns with Dorsey’s first impression. #1 concern of Millennial parents when rising a church with their kids.
Ethos: hospitality and inclusion – aligns with Dorsey’s ease of engagement. #2 concern of Millennial parents when visiting a church with their kids. They need to feel like they belong from the start. When a child is known and loved.
Disclosure + discipleship relationships – aligns with Dorsey’s individual feedback. #3 concern of Millennial parents when rising a church with their kids.
Millennial parents of faith will commit to a church that commits wholeheartedly to their children.
The Silver Bullet:
Invest in their children
Invite their parents over to dinner
Pass the baton
Family means we do more than one meal together.
JIM PUTMAN – @JimPutmanRLM
Discipleship in the Four Spheres
You people are the heroes in the church…especially you Junior High Pastors.
How do we create a church from the top down that creates disciples?
The reason our kids are stumbling and falling is because our parents weren’t discipled in the first pace to understand the role of discipling their own kids. They went to church instead of experiencing being the church.
You cannot divorce the teachings of Jesus from the methods of Jesus and get the same results of Jesus.
The reason we don’t have disciple-making parents is because we don’t have disciple-making churches.
Most Christians reveal their immaturity, by the fact that they are isolated.
The reason they (kids) don’t buy Jesus is because they know it’s not working for their parents. In the recipe of the faith they (the parents) have left out major components.
What if we changed the structure of our churches where every door leads to relational environments where people are living out the truth?
General Session 5
JEFFERSON BETHKE – @JeffersonBethke
Why Rhythms and Story Can Save Your Marriage and Family
What does it look like to live in Rhythm and Story? An identity given around a ritual.
We are what we worship.
Endless doing. Workaholics. Never a finish line until you die.
The biblical model of time
A spiral that goes forward.
God has a timeline but he also is a God of rhythm and cadence. A daily, weekly, yearly way.
Leads to progressive being. Identity centric. More and more formed into the image of Jesus.
When does the day actually start according to God? There was evening and morning the first day. Starts form the position of rest. Then once we are rested we can go work.
We were actually created to submit to sessions. You will flourish best when you submit to rest.
The American idea is to never be limited by anything ever. God operates differently and wants us to submit.
Amish people live in a daily, weekly, and yearly cadence.
Centers the songs, stories, and truth in the home. Usually read by a parent at the table, unpacking their identity ritualistically over a meal. What is the retention rate of the Amish household? How likely they will remain Amish? 95-97%.
Jewish retention is 95%.
Barna for evangelicals. The highest number 37%. 11% are resilient disciples.
What’s different about these different people groups?
Rituals give you an identity and you usually don’t leave an identity.
Evangelical Holiest Holidays: Christmas and Easter. A big event, a lot of people, and one person on stage.
Highest Holiest Moments in the Jewish Community: Passover and other events that happen at home around the dinner table where someone shares a story and they eat.
7 Billion total people and 15 million Jewish. .2% of the population. Nobel Prize 30%. Pulitzer 25%. Patient files 50%.
When you’re told from age zero identity wrapped in ritual it creates retention.
What would it look like if we as church leaders equipped people to center their homes to be the disciple-making machine? We can be an enormous helping tool but the family is where it happens.
Daily. Breakfast Benediction.
Put your hands up as and receive.
“I’m not what I do. I’m not what I have. I’m not what other people say about me. I am the beloved of God. It’s who I am. No one can take it from me. I don’t have to worry. I don’t have to hurry. I can trust my friend Jesus. And share His love with the world.”
Give them mm’s and this ritual will change their life forever. 25 seconds every day.
Weekly. The Steak
What is something you’re trying to make the high point moment of every week? Usually something individualistic. If you’re married the peek moment should be with the family as a deeply ritualistic shaping device.
Shabbat
Sabbath is not our burnout recovery day.
2 candles: Cease and Celebrate
You are not what you do if you believe it prove it one day a week. Do you really believe God has it?
Delight. Get out the nice china. Drink the best wine. Joy and delight. What would it look like if every 7 days you threw a party for your family or your marriage?
A day of intentional rest and celebration.
A day of the work is done. Enjoy and be blessed.
Yearly. Family Summit
Lev 23. Crafted holidays to create a story. You were once this, now you’re this. Identity.
Every year at the end of the year think about your family as more important than a business. There are yearly meetings. They do new product. They evaluate. What will 2020 be for my marriage? Does he have a word for us this year? Does he have a practice for us this year? Identity Shaping Rituals.
American Secular Cultural Holidays: Apple. We are ritualistic creatures. We look at our phones first thing every day. Yearly they have their Sept event. Keynote and new iPhone.
On the last day of Jesus, He gathers His disciples for a meal. He tells a story at a table. He makes it a rhythm and tells them to do it when they gather.
KANDI GALLATY – @KandiGallaty
Leading By Example: How Being a Disciple Helps Us Disciple Our Families
Our kids learn everything they do by watching us.
Being a disciple is a lifestyle; it’s not something you turn on and off.
What’s truly important is us leading ourselves well. And if we lead ourselves well, we will be able to lead others well.
2 Timothy 3:14-17
“But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
A parent needs to be intentional in the investment of his or her family.
2 Timothy 1:5
I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.”
An abiding presence that dwelt in them at all times.
Acts 16:1
Paul came to Derbe and then to Lystra, where a disciple named Timothy lived, whose mother was Jewish and a believer but whose father was a Greek.
He was already a disciple when Paul met him, most likely because of his mother and grandmother.
Car Ride: Never get out of the car without a prayer. Healthy, safe, and a happy day. Maximize the time you have with them. Set the pace for their day.
Meal Time – it doesn’t have to look like a traditional big family meal but it needs to be a priority.
Bed Time – no kids want to go to bed.
Family Game Time – everything else can wait and we can spend time with the family.
Time equals transparency. Time spent now means they will open up to us later. We want to be intentional with them now so it will matter to them when they are older.
As a parent, you are your kids greatest advocate.
Don’t treat your Bible like it’s a keepsake box. Open it and spend time with Jesus.
25% of church-going Christians read the Bible. Of the 25% who read only read 8 books of the Bible.
Idle time becomes idol time.
We just need to be with Jesus, to be changed and become more like Him.
H.E.A.R. formula bible journaling: Highlight, Explain, Apply, and Respond.
Discipleship is a lifestyle.
Matthew 28:18b-20
“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”