How to Create a Better Foundation for Lifetime Change

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You have set goals, made promises, and worked to change but unfortunately, you find yourself in the same place day after day. Why do we get stuck in a rut, repeating the same mistakes despite a true desire to be different? What if our thoughts hold the key to create a better foundation for lifetime change? Here are four challenges to your thinking to make the changes you desire in your life.

Meditate on what is true. Your thinking guides your response. If you go through the day thinking about grilling on the back deck and when you get home it’s raining, your response might be to complain and have a bad attitude. Whereas if you go through the day thinking about how you want to serve your family, the rain will have a far less impact and you will find another way to serve them. To lay a solid foundation for change, find times throughout your day for focused thinking on Biblical truth. Meditating on God’s truth will create a heart that is pleasing to God and lay a foundation for the right changes in your life.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. – Psalm 19:14

Ask the right questions. If you want a better foundation for a lifetime of change than you need to take every thought captive to obey Christ. Do not allow questions to stumble around in your head or heart that are destructive or disobedient.

Also, consider if you are asking the right questions to the right person. If you are seeking your approval or love in another person you will always be disappointed. When you ask questions to find your approval in God’s eyes you will find true satisfaction in Him. Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires.” Only God can fully satisfy your heart, so look to Him when you are asking these types of question.

We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. – 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

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Refocus wrong thinking. Take a look back on your past mistake. How would it have been different had you refocused your thinking on what is true and honorable? When you were feeling insignificant and were looking for acceptance in another person, what would have happened if you refocused your thinking and realized God loves you despite your shortcomings? Instead of thinking that you are loved only when you perform a certain way, remember that Romans 5:8says, “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” To lay a better foundation for change refocus you thinking any time it doesn’t line up with God’s word.

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. – Philippians 4:8

Hold onto the right things. You can’t say that you are alone while believing the truth found in James 2:23 that you are a friend of God. You can not believe you are unlovable when you know in your heart John 3:16, “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son.” When you begin believing something that pulls you down into a rut, find God’s truth and begin laying the foundation in your heart that leads to change.

No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. – Matthew 6:24

Lasting change begins with your thinking. You really can change and become the person that God designed you to be. And when you stumble, catch it, repent, ask for forgiveness, and take your next step in growth!

Notes from #OC17 Main Stage 4 and 5: Mike Foster, Ryan Leak, Jeff Henderson, Kara Powell, Bob Goff

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Mike Foster

Prodigal parties. Parties for inmates who are getting out of prison.

When you’ve been incarcerated there is a sense that your identity and hope have been attacked.

Surround with friends and family members.

No agenda other than to poor into the individual and let them know that we love them.

Feeling disqualified.

All of us have been in those moments when we are like, ‘Is there a place for me.’

We are really great at believing in God but we struggle to believe in ourselves or each other.

Wake up every morning and look for an opportunity to practice tiny greatness.

Neighbors make me a better Christian.

We are interacting with our neighbors because it’s God design to change us. Reggie

Mike has a passion for leaders, that they will thrive and survive. Have a dynamic faith and push through the obstacles. Surrounded by a community of grace people.

@MikeFoster #OC17

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Make room for someone new – Ryan Leak

When we are for our neighbors we make room for someone new. Matthew 28:19-20

How are we going to build bridges with people who are different than us?
We have to be intentional with the places we go.

Only 8% of the miracles Jesus performed were performed inside the synagog.

Mark 6:55-56 Don’t notice what Jesus did, notice where he was

Everyone should be quick to listen James 1:19

The brand of Christianity.

Can you imagine if we equipped our people to just listen.

The gym, one of the most diverse places in the world.

Be intentional in how we are kind

Romans 2:1-4 ESV God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance.

Easiest time to make a difference. You don’t have to be a lot a bit nice, just a little bit.

Not random acts of kindness, intentional acts of kindness.

I’ve decided that I’m going to be intentionally kind when I go to the gym.

Pass out Gatorade’s.

One way or another, here’s what I know about every person I play basketball with, they’re going to get thirsty.

You’ll be surprised what happens in your world, your peoples’ world when they decide to be intentionally kind.

I noticed he was playing with a wedding ring. Why do I need to go to church when you’re already here?

Ask every person who serves you one question, “Do you have anything I can pray for?”

God’s got a plan for your life, let me pray for you.

There is someone in your neighborhood who has the weight of the world on their shoulders and all they need to know is they have God on their side.

God is so real.

God draws people to himself.

I’m just playing my part, asking people who are paid to serve me, by asking them a question.

“Want to make room for someone new at the table? Be intentional!”

@ryanleak #OC17

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Love where we live – Jeff Henderson

Holy Sprit is not just in the adult service. Holy Spirit is in the preschool. In our experience, after an hour the Holy Spirit leaves the preschool.

One of the pain points for stress points is when parents come home for the first time from the hospital.

Wagon. Incredible ministry.

Courtney and Brandon trip.

Wagon-iers – we are for our neighbors

This is a photo opportunity for families.

When you bring a first time guest to church, you see church completely differently.

You will stop complaining about the wrong things and will start caring about the right things.

5 words in the good samaritan story.

He came where the man was. Luke 10:33

How dow e create a neighbor minded church?

If our church went out of business, would the community even notice?

We can’t expect them to come to us if they don’t know we are for them.

For God so loved.

Practical ideas

Social Media: The apostle Paul would be on Instagram.

Most social media posts from churches are 99.99% about the church. We need to highlight people in our community.

Crispy Cream: Green dye in donuts. Snaps a picture of worker and encourages. Made the good employee a hero.

Do an inventory of your church social media and see what they are for.

A neighbor minded church allows people to belong before they believe.

“Hey, I’m Chris and I’m an agnostic.”

Start staff meetings: Go to Instagram and search hashtag #ForGwinett like and engage. Celebrate what you want repeated. He used the hashtag #ChrisTheAgnostic Staff blew it up.

It’s so wonderful to belong to such a fun nice place.” That’s a win

The longer you hang out with Jesus and Jesus’ people the closer you come to belief.

A neighbor minded church creates common ground instead of dividing lines.

Create common ground and conversations.

Simple and not a lot of money.

“Pay it backwards.”

For Gwinnett car magnets. Not churchweb pagee.

Order, pull up a little and listen, if it’s catering then pray. If it’s number one then game on.

Something powerful happens when they know you are for them.

He believed that he belonged.

There’s a church that is for them. They are so passionate about Jesus that they are not going to wait for them to come to church on Sunday, they are going to go to them.

#PrayForChris

@JeffHenderson #OC17

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Kara Powell

We are part of the family of God.

The pictures of our church families are changing.

Becoming more ethnically diverse as a church family.

Starting to look more like our neighborhood.

Getting to know our neighbors can be hard, awkward, and takes times. Sometimes its difficult.

Why try to know our neighbors?

Because of Jesus.

The example of Jesus Christ.

Heaven and then came to earth.

The word became flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood

Jesus gives us eternal life in heaven and real life on earth.

The Gospel champions cost not comfort.

The gas pedal that is fueling the churches spiritual journey.

What would be the difference be in pictures of your church family and pictures of your neighborhood.

Ethnicity, Economic, gender, generational.

FactFinder.Cencus.Gov

How does your church line up with your neighborhood?

Survey: Has your church done enough to become racially diverse. 67% said yes.

Without intentionally we default to similarity.

How do our upfront leaders reflect our neighborhood?

We have feminized children’s ministry and masculinized student ministry. Let’s work on that.

How do we help our neighbors feel like insiders not outsiders?

Part of the church family, even if not close to God.

When off campus it helps.

How do we become the best church for the neighborhood?

Young people were twice as likely to highlight diversity compared to other adults in the church.

This is what God wants to do in and through your church. Students can be the tip of that arrow.

Champion cost not comfort.

Jesus make it so!

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Bob Goff

There’s a big different in being shot at and loved on.

What we are supposed to do is to love on.

Jesus leads people to Jesus. What we do is love everybody always.

I’m not trying to be right any more, I’m trying to be Jesus.

Living a life of constantly being misunderstood.

You’re going to see more.
We don’t know what we will see but we know we will see more. We will see more hope in people the more we look for it.

Galatians 5:5 The only thing that matters is your faith expressed in love.

We try to make ourselves the hero of victim of every story.

I’m just a participant in this. I just want to see more Jesus in people.

If were not going to welcome people when they come to our gatherings of faith, we shouldn’t invite them.

There’s nothing that says you are welcome like the statue of liberty.

Make your faith easy, and people will see more of Jesus.

Left pockets gone. Your faith and mine are the sum of everything you are hanging onto and everything you are willing to let go of. Whatever it takes. You’re going to see more of Christ and those around you will too.

On your very worst day, Jesus calls you beloved. If you aren’t hearing that word beloved, it’s not Jesus talking. You stink at loving yourself.

Matthew 13: Mustard Seed. Parable of what the seed turns into.

Small things will become beautiful big things in your life, and here’s the point, to give people rest. He doesn’t do it to show us His power, He shows His presence.

My beloved is mine and I am His. Song of Solomon 2:16

Don’t be right, be Jesus.

At 10:35 they knew they could fly.

What do you think they were thinking at 10:34 Fail trying, don’t fail watching. Good Samaritan

If following Jesus doesn’t lead me and you to lonely, hurting, and isolated people then it’s not Jesus you are following. You are just trying to look good.

Street names: This way, that way, anyway, church is on His Way and airport is on runWay. Don’t get stuck there. Matthew 25. Hungry people, people in jail. I don’t write, Jesus loves you. If you’ve had a double double you know Jesus loves you. Love everybody always.

My beloved, I am yours and you are mine. Jesus isn’t wowed by $20 words. He doesn’t want your help, he wants your hearts.

Sea Otters, hold hands because they don’t want each other to drift away.

Notes from #OC17 Main Stage 2: Jon Acuff, Danielle Strickland, and Andy Stanley

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“We want you to have a chance to be immersed in why you do this ministry.”

“We have to have a place where people can ask questions.”

You won’t know how what you do will impact someone you won’t even remember.

You are all mustard seeds.

The hardest thing is you will never see the results.

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The Ultimate Exodus: Finding Freedom from What Enslaves You – Danielle Strickland @djstrickland

Book: http://a.co/9pT3Cbx

“People were born to be free and they’re not.”

“Freedom is not just an outside job, it’s an inside job.”

If exploitation can reach girls, so can redemption and hope.

“80% of sex trafficking victims are from foster care.”

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Rethink how we do church – Andy Stanley @AndyStanley

He’s not the real deal, he’s the real, real deal. Andy about Reggie.

Genuinely committed to the next generation. Reggie didn’t know it was going to be this, he just knew God wanted him to do it.

Does it ever get easier? Charles Stanley wanted to ask someone further down the road.

Vertical Morality: Peace with God based on keeping the peace with God. Is ___ a sin? Behind that questions is how close can we get to sin. Eye to the sky.

The old covenant/testament. Covenant with God and the nation, not individuals. The kings/prophets leadership would impact the whole nations favor with God.

Most of our OT is the story of the kings of Israel.

The Old covenant that birthed the Christ. Shapes the way we think about our relationship with God and this gives us a vertical morality. Cocoon/Butterfly Illustration.

John the baptist, get ready, get ready, get ready or you’re going to miss it. Then one day he said look! The lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. John 1:29. Not just something new, but something better. Flip phone vs. iPhone Illustration.

But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children. Galatians 4:4-5

Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” Jesus in John 13:35

New command: The golden role, platinum!

Who has the authority to add to the commands and give a new command? Only God.

John 13:35 Love one another.

Passover meal changed and became about Jesus. Do this in remembrance of me. That was huge. The old is old, it’s a brand new covenant.

Jesus introduced Horizontal Morality: Fellowship with God gauged

1 John 2:7 Dear friends, I am not writing a new commandment for you; rather it is an old one you have had from the very beginning. This old commandment–to love one another–is the same message you heard before.

It’s new to the world. It’s like the sun is rising and you are part of that sunrise.

Cast out all of the darkness.

If anyone claims, “I am living in the light,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is still living in darkness. 1 John 2:9 – to diminish the value of another person, to diss.

God is really really really in love with people and you can’t dismiss people and be right with God.

Everyone you are eyeball to eyeball with is someone who Jesus dies for.

“Your love for God is demonstrated and authenticated by how we treat those around us.”

If we’re not careful-intentional, we’ll orient children and students toward obeying invisible God rather than loving visible people.

“The problem with Vertical Morality is the loopholes.”

Why should we tell the truth? Not the bible tells me to.

Because lying says to the person you are lying to, “You’re worthless” I’ll protect me at your expense. Lying hurts. Lying breaks the relationship.

Why should we be generous? OT. bring me your first fruit and I’ll protect you.

The reason we should be generous is because it helps people. God so loved the world He gave.

Why shouldn’t you talk bad about other people? Gossip. Paul never leverages the OT for conduct. He quotes it.

It diminished their significants and Christ died for them.

Why guys should not pressure girls sexually?

I don’t want to do anything that hurts you. I don’t want to do anything that would diminish your future relationships. I don’t want to be your regret. Honor her. There are no loopholes with honor.

If it’s not best for them, it’s a sin. As I have loved you, so you are to love one another.

All NT imperatives are applications of Jesus’ commandment.
Paul ties it all to how we are treated through Christ by our heavenly father.

Do our kids know this? Do our students know this? Do you know this?

Horizontal morality is less complicated, more demanding.

What does love require of me? – Andy Stanley

This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. John 15:12

If you mistreat one of my kids, don’t invite me to lunch. You can send me gifts and sing my praises but I’m not buying it. Do something for my children and you’ll be my friend forever. You don’t have to ask me to love you, I love you because I love them.

Is there anything that brings you more joy than watching our children love one another?

The best way to please your father in heaven is to honor the people around you.

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Notes from #OC17 Breakouts: Amber Baker, Jim Wideman, Nick Blevins, Chad Ward, Sherry Surratt and Brad Griffin

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Leading Your Team for the Long Haul – Amber Baker @AmberDBaker

We want to see teams of people stick together longer than 18 months. At 18 months it becomes hard. Stick it out. As a leader, you get momentum. How do you create this team that sticks together? A group of people working together for a mutual goal!

To lead for the long haul you need transformational leadership.

The team feels trust, admiration, loyalty, and respect towards the leader, and they are motivated to do more than they originally expected to do.

Theory:

Idealized influence – the leader becomes a role model who is admired, respected, and emulated by followers. You need a sense of charisma. Figure out how, get coaching if you need charisma. Leadership is influence.

Inspirational Motivation – leader inspires and motivate others by providing meaning and challenge to their followers work. Talk about why they do what they do. Explain the why. Not a craft to fill the time but why this craft is important. How does this really make a difference?

Individualized Stimulation – leaders behavior that encourages followers creativity and stimulates innovative thinking. Collective of the group. Do people have a voice collectively? Bring people in to be part of the process and have a voice on the team. Intellectually stimulation.

Individualized Consideration – leaders play a role in developing team members potential and pays attention to their individual needs for achievement and growth. Coaching. Have you actually said, this is how you want it done or said? This coaching takes a lot more work.

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Practice:

1. Know your team.

Not know their job but know their personality, temperament, and how it works together. Real Colors Assessment https://realcolors.org

Golds: Plans ahead; likes checking off items on the “to-do” list

Pushes to have things decided and settled

Sets deadlines and expect them to be met

Gives and likes to receive precise directions and instructions

Punctual, Organized, Value Rules

Green: Tries to convince others by logic and objective arguments; uses words like principle, logical, standards, analysis.

Appear most comfortable with topics not related to feelings or relationships

Has a small number of deep friendships.

Pauses before answering or giving information

Values independence and time alone

need information and questions answered

Research Oriented.

Blue: Talks about possibilities more than what exists

Likes to do things in a new ways; dislikes routine

Is upset by conflict or disharmony

Shows concern for the feelings of others

Choose a tactful comment over a directly truthful one.

Values family – who is your family?

Orange: Uses words like flexible, adapt, evolving, and spontaneous

Does work in a way that makes the process enjoyable

Shows physical energy in body language, facial expressions, and voice.

Acts or speaks quickly, sometimes without thinking.

Works easily with several other things going on.

Values fun, independence, challenges.

Rules are guidelines – can be broken.

We need one another and we need to understand one another.

It’s important to speak in a way that others can hear.

Greens are great at getting to the why. Why are we doing this in the first place.

Blue wants everyone to be connected and part of them.

Oranges help push the boundaries that Gold are lining up.

Recent studies who that individuals who are more aware of team roles and behavior required for each role perform better than individuals that do not. Give job descriptors. Outline expectations.

Getting the right people and the right chemistry is important.

2. Boundaries

Set boundaries on: Phones, emails, social media, day’s off, time with the Lord, family time.

No phones at the table. Set boundaries on yourself and encourage your team to do the same.

Professionals who are on their device tend to work 70 hours a week.

Set and keep our days off.

Monday morning time away with the Lord. Coffee shop, library, outside. Time actively with God.

3. 80% with 20%

20% of your people do 80% of your work.

Spend 80% of your time with the 20%.

High Impact Leadership

*Create a list of my 20% people.

4. Leading change well

Change can evoke excitement or fear.

As a transformation leader, you need to get out in front of change. Talk abut chance and the why of that change.

Coach and do things well.

3 types of leaders in change
The yes man.

The bulldozer

The path. guide them through the process of change. Influence, motivate, stimulate the brains for creative ways to change, and coach them through it.

Industry Output Over time – Change Model

Introduction, growth, maturing, decline.

As maturity is happening, it’s time to change and grow.

Read the Stretch book by Jim Wideman.

5. Have FUN together

Even if you are not fun, find a way to have fun.

Christmas open house.

Coffee Breaks

Notes Home

Go do something fun and play together.

Dig deep and become a motivator.

The Holy Spirit speaks to us, and when we ask for wisdom He gives it to us.

Any of our great long-term volunteers started with relationships.
I believe God is calling us to the serve on sit one, Mary and Martha principle.

You can only do what you can do. God sees this, knows your heart, and will give you strategies for that.

As soon as you have information out ahead, give them some information to help lead them through the change process. They might even be able to help you through these steps of change.

abaker@grace-church.com

AmberBaker.me

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A Couple of Ministry Hacks – Jim Wideman and Nick Blevins @jimwideman @nickblevins

Busy is a word that changes as you are in ministry. Big and Busy are relative words.

Refers to any trick, shortcut, skill, or novelty method that increases productivity and efficiency, in all walks of life.

People make more money by how much stress they are over. Janitor vs Surgeon. Learn how to take care and measure stress. Have stress relievers.

Experience is the best teacher but it doesn’t have to be your own experience.

The right tools make a difference.

Anything you are good at, you had to learn to do. Some things come easier to us.

Organization: The vehicle that causes me to get everything done in my life and

causes me to be ready for more

Organization + Order = management

Proverbs 28:2 When a country is rebellious, it has many rulers, but a man of understanding and knowledge maintains order.

Calendars are like lawnmowers. When you reach a certain size lawn you need a bigger mower.

The size and the church you want to have not the one you have.
Work on the life you want to have not the life you currently have.

Unless someone is getting, save, healed, you see a hand writing on the wall, or you hear the voice of God, the meeting will last one hour or less.

Theme days – specific focus on specific days (helpful for managing multiple areas or focus on the type of work – meetings, admin, etc.

If I keep moving things from my list to another week, ask am I really the person to do this in the first place?

If you’ll do when you’re small what you are forced to do when you’re big, you’ll get big! Dr. Roy Hicks

Sandbox concept

Language to help talk about what is within your decision making authority and what is not.

We should be pushing to widen their sandbox.

Designate a date night as well as a family time. You might need to rearrange this, but keep it a priority. Do you plan your family activities before you plan your church activities? What does this say about your priorities?

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Moving Kids to be Neighbor Minded – Chad Ward @chadlward

We all need God to be right in the center of it, guiding everything we do.

What are we doing really, to lay the foundation so that our children are for our neighbors?

Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it.” Train, or show. Model. Time, repetition in training. Watch me do what I do, now you. Your turn.

It’s hard for a child to look beyond themselves, just as it’s hard for me to look beyond myself.

1. Create meaningful generosity and compassion opportunities. Matthew 9:36 when he saw the crowds He had compassion on them.

Ask the right questions to the right people and then listen to their answers.

January: Partner with the church for canned goods. We want your children to go to their pantry so they can start the process of being generous.

Spring break: missions trip with young kids really having an impact.

June: Summer series. Invest and invite. Give event: Quarters for camp.

July: Backpack drive. Because so many kids are homeless or no parental involvement.

Celebrate on the back end so people know why we do this.

2. Create meaningful invest and invite opportunities.

Easy ask

We want families to fight because they want to come to church.

The challenge that I see in most churches is a lot of calendars that are full but without purpose.

What can we stop doing to make Sunday better?

What is one event we can do this year to help young people be for their neighbors. Invest/Invite

Walk your space and ask yourself how it works and looks from a guest services perspective. Fresh? Fun?

Andy Stanley one-sentence job description: Create a safe, irresistible, life-changing elementary environment.

KidStuff: Learn about God’s big ideas. Everything you need to apply the big idea at home.

Baptism Bash.

Game On:

3. Create meaningful conversation opportunities.

Dives into the heart of everything they are thinking.

26 of 36 bottom lines are focused on diving into discussions to be for our neighbors.

Live to Give

Small groups – understand the impact you are making in kids. Does this help them when it comes to watch me, do what I do, your turn when it comes to being for their neighbors.

Take homes: Why and how?

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Reactivating Parents Every Week – Sherry Surratt @SherrySurratt

Have those moments when you feel that God is looking at you, tapping you on the shoulder, and speaking to you.

“The things that you are doing today are impacting someone else’s eternity.”

What we do every week with the parent’s impacts what they do every day with their child.

Less than 20% of your parents will come when you offer events for parents.

Families are busy but they are not too busy.

It’s not that they don’t care.

Every parent wants to be a better parent.

Every parent has dreams for their kids.

Every parent can do something more. Here’s the reality, many times they don’t know that.

That feeling of overwhelmed or stuck is miserable. Do you know how many parents are feeling that?

“I wish for the love of God that someone would teach me how to be a mom.”

We can show them.

When the church change show it views parents, parents change how they view the church.

Expectations are huge.

When we believe that they really do what to be a better parent, it changes our expectations.

Give it to them in easy bites.

One of the best things you can do for your ministry is to put yourself in the shoes of a single mom with eight kids. Really learned the definition of being overwhelmed.

What happens during the week really IS more important.

Parents have the math on their side. 3k hours of influence in kids vs 40 (or less)

The average family comes to church 1.8x per month.

When parents understand how much time they have left, they tend to do more with the time they have now.

We need to equip a parent to drop everything they are doing for ‘their time’ because these times come less and less and less as kids grow older.

Start early with a parent and help them understand you parental influence goes down and your relational influence goes up.

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The High School years are the “you can” years.

Seize today because your positional influence is going down every year. You need to work hard to build your relational influence.

Enter into their world.

If you’re not that family (that goes out and does this big grand thing) that’s okay, because you are consistent over time.

3 strategic shifts.

1. Work according to their schedule, not ours.

Hard because the church has an annual rhythm.

How can we develop a rhythm for the year?

What is my child going to do for the summer?

What are the 3 questions your child is asking right now? (Phase event name)

2. Coach rhythmically, not sporadically.

Consistency over time.

3. Speak specifically, not generally.

Let them know what to do, what to say, or what to ask at specific times.

Parent Cue pieces.

Parent Resource Wall

Conversation Guides. (next one up is health)

Parent cue app

Here at Orange, we love to set you up to look really really good.

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Reimagining Senior Sunday – Brad M. Griffin @bgriffinfyi

Sometimes we elevate the wrong stories or the wrong parts of the stories in this phase.

1 in 2 drift from God and the faith in the first 12-18 months after leaving high school.

4 of 5 intend to cross well.

At the precise moment, they need the support of community most0when they are making significant life decisions we are missing the mark.

We believe in young people and we believe in the church. We want to see faith-filled young people unleashed to change the world.

Text “Free” to 44144 and receive 3 free resources from Fuller Youth Institute.

Only 1 in 7 students felt prepared to what faced them specifically when it came to their faith.

#1 advice to youth leaders was to prepare us better.

Thread that runs through preparation: Identity Development (true in all phases)

Identity: Who am I? Shame based responses. / Grace

Belonging: Where do I fit? Conditional acceptance. / Love
Purpose: What difference do I make? Self-fulfillment. / Mission

The better story always wins.

Faith and Faithing: Is faith only a noun, or also a verb?

Not an event but a process. Starting at, at least the beginning of the senior year.

9 months out: Begin conversations about what’s next beyond high school. *what does it look like to be part of the church next year?

6 months: connect students with more adults outside youth ministry

* the walk of shame from high school ministry to young adults where they don’t know anyone. retreat or missions trip with college ministry. Let parents know what is coming up.

5-3 months: Family communication about transition and dates.

2 months: Plan pre0and post graduation events with students and leaders.

6 weeks: Face to face parent

4 weeks: Host your senior event before graduation: Party and traditions

Transition summer: SGL conversations and family cues

*Orange resource coming at OC tour for senior Sunday.

More conversations and more relevant topics.

Finding faith community and making new friends.

Getting connected with a campus ministry really does make a difference.

Those who don’t find somewhere to connect within the first few weeks probably won’t.

These seniors haven’t practiced friend building skills in years. They have a group. Who do you want to surround yourself with these next few year’s. When they have choosing power, they don’t know what to do with that. Who is close, convenient, or making the most noise.

Deciding about parties: Especially in the first two weeks set the trajectory for the next years.

Help them decide ahead of time. Will you go to the party? Will you hold the cup? Will you have something in the cup? Will you drink what is in that cup? How many will you drink? Role-play these decisions so they don’t fall into decisions.

The first two weeks of freshman year and the first two weeks of senior year are when students are most open to spiritual conversations.

Managing Time and Money

Help them think through it

Give tools

No one is going to tell the new student when to go home. You have to make the decision in the middle of the night. Managing time is one of the biggest stressors.

Handling Emerging Doubts

Magazine: Hold up finger behind his back. Does God know about the hurting? Steve. Jobs.

It’s not doubt that’s toxic to faith. It’s silence or unexpressed doubt.

“I don’t know but” is a great response to doubt.

“I’m so glad you asked.” “You’re not the first person to ask this question.”

Their questions doesn’t offend you or God. Keep expressing.

Navigating Changing Relationships

Parents are trying hard and they need help navigate this transition also.

Is it okay to text my parents every day at college?

Parents are feeling grief and loss and they need to be needed.

Teach practical skills

Meet at laundry mat with dirty laundry and quarters. Talk how to do laundry as well as other issues they are going to be facing. One less issue to worry about.

New ideas for family and grad dinner. Give them things to talk about. Help them think through that moment as a time of blessing. They might want to get out of there so manage expectations. What would be meaningful and what would be too much.

Give them leads

Help campus ministry people know who your people are.

Let the students know where to go. campus ministry and churches.

Help parents visit a church and talk with a campus ministry leader when they go visit.

Students and leaders

Stay in touch

Contact from a youth leader or adult from the church is significant.

The power of reaching out: When teenagers leave home, we hope their faith will stick. *video by Kara and Fuller

In a digital world, real cookies speak volumes.

Cookies, coffee gift card, praying for you note.

Jump on FaceTime and reach out to college students when around other students.

Pray. Take a picture of the youth group or church praying for the students who are away. Send them a printed picture with a note. Have people sign them.

Consider 4+1

Not add another year of high school ministry just think about that year intentionally.

Small group leaders, don’t recycle back but ask them to stay with that group one more year whatever that looks like.  Connect and cheer on. Connect with mentors. Intentional plan.

Lame grad gifts that no one used and books no one read, music no one listened to. Instead, Starbucks gift cards, use this to have some significant conversations this summer. Take out your parents, small group leader or whoever and kickstart conversations about your future.

One number in your phone you can always contact no matter what.

What’s the one relationship where you never have to lie.

How will we respond when they fail?

Senior Sunday: Not goodbye but hello world.

 

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20 Powerful Leadership Quotes From #OC17 Session 1

the best

“Some of your neighbors feel like you don’t love them because you act like you don’t like them.” @reggiejoiner

“The next generation needs someone who has gone before them to be for them.” @GeraldFadayomi

“If there’s any entity that should lead the way in treating everyone like they’re invited to the party, it should be the church.” @reggiejoiner

“There are no ordinary children.” @djstrickland

“What if the next generation needs to have a voice more than they need to hear our voice?” @GeraldFadayomi

“A party is any effort to celebrate, serve, or enjoy each other in a way that adds value to life.” @reggiejoiner

“That’s what we mean by neighbor; it’s all of us.” @JonAcuff

“You have the place what better than google for parenting, and that place is the word of God.” @loswhit

“I want the legacy of our generation to be that we are party-starters.” @reggiejoiner

“To be for someone, you have to know them. To know them, you have to listen to them.” @GeraldFadayomi

“We don’t have enough leaders who are advocating for people who are hurting.” @reggiejoiner

“We get so focused on what we want to teach them that we miss the opportunity to hear them.” @GeraldFadayomi

“Mile one fulfilled an obligation. Mile two changed the nature of their relationship.” @reggiejoiner

“Parenting is one of the loneliest jobs on the planet. If we are for our neighbors we never let parents parent alone.” @loswhit

“Your heart always follows where you put your treasure in life.” @reggiejoiner

“Get in the habit in your life of doing something you don’t have to do.” @reggiejoiner

“The best way I can love God is by loving people God loves.” @reggiejoiner

“Create beautiful spaces. It tells people you were expecting them.” @reggiejoiner

“Point students that are crying out to be heard, to a God who is always listening.” @GeraldFadayomi

“We’ve got to stop acting like discipleship is about information, and realize discipleship is about relationship.” @reggiejoiner

 

95 Proven Life Hacks and Apps for Life Efficiency

attracting an audience

Have you ever found yourself looking for the perfect hack or app to simply make life easier? At this year’s Orange Conference, Jim Wideman and Nick Blevins lead a breakout where they gave insight on how to better manage your weekly calendar, finding the balance between ministry and family time. I had the honor of helping them create a massive list of tips and tricks to help you get more done in less time! Here are 95 proven life hacks and apps for life efficiency that I find most useful!

Time ManagementProject ManagementCommunicationSchedulingSpiritualPhysicalEducationPodcastsImagesRandom

To download a pdf, click this link: 95 Life Hacks

What’s missing? What would you add to this list? Let me know in the comments!

A Year Long NextGen Strategy by Frank Bealer and E.J. Swanson #OC17

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A Year Long NextGen Strategy for Parents – Frank Bealer

Navigate the unique tension.

Genuine heart for nextgen ministry. How do we connect parents and bring them into what we are doing? A strategy for those who oversee family ministry. Have mind shift so that you know that you can do more for parents. You are going to get overwhelmed because there is just so much strategy to get done. Most of what we talk about in these strategies should be taken on by volunteers. Run the information through that filter.

The Reality: Working with kids is fun, working with parents is hard.

Parents are over committed.

Parents don’t attend while kids do.

Unique family situations.

Blended, single, teenage parents, grandparents.

When the church changes how they see parents, it will change how parents see the church.

What if we fight for parents and fight to come along side them.

The question is not “what are we doing for parents” but rather, “what are we doing that is strategic.”

When we don’t hear feedback about how parents are using our resources we cut back. Why?

Prayer for the families. text date and time and we will call to pray. 12k in attendance and got 7 back. But parents felt engaged and connected. I can’t believe my church was willing to stop and pray for us. The good intentions were enough for the parents.

What are we doing that is strategic that we will keep doing no matter what?

Ways to partner with parents every year.

Celebrate major milestones together. You get invited to graduations, baby dedications, big moments in the life of the family. You invite those who feel like family. What if we want to make the things they celebrate bigger by doing it together. Recognize those times and celebrate together. Family dedication. Keep it small and personal so that you celebrate big. 15 families vs lost in the crowd.

Reactivate them around their felt need. The struggle or reality for them. Speak into this. Connect and engage where they are at. The role of a parent changes as kids grow up. 4th grader and preschoolers are different. How can we reactivate these parents as their kids are acting differently? All the new ideas you are trying, a lot of it, we don’t need to do new just consistent and better.

We get tired of doing the same old thing. Baby dedication, might feel stale to us but not to the families because families only do it once. Make it consistent and better.

Family dynamics and modes change, speak into that phase. Resource parents when they need it. Parents need to know that there is somewhere to go to help them raise their kids.

What if we could spark faith-based conversations at home when they are little. Why did God make the sky blue?” If the church sparks those conversations when they are little, then when they get big and messy, maybe they will continue to look for the church to help them spark those conversations. How are you helping spark these conversations?

Connect parents with each other!

I’m not in this alone, there are people at the church who are going through this same things, and have someone else that I can go to, we are in this together. We can spark community among parents and actually make the relationship happen.

Cue parents every week. The most important things kids do for their kids are the things they do consistently week after week!

3 Strategic Moves:

1// Cooperate with their yearly rhythm.

Started by an event. And a decision that has to be made. What if we said that we are going to show up.

The noise of the world is loud. Speaking to a family in their felt need is louder.

Sometimes we voice, here is what looks new in our ministry. Each new season, how do we help them start? Transitions happen every year. For families things are changing, how do we speak into that and be strategic. Get families together and get them talking together. Not for us the church but for you as families. A new year and new rhythm and you need some families in your corner.

Focus: Provide something encouraging to help them keep going. Encouraging. Social media to tell them they are winning. Not do more but you are doing great. Constant encouragement. Speaking into the lives of the exhausted families. New Year’s resolution. When you lose once you beat yourself over it, you still made progress. Help families feel like they are winning!

youleadministry.com VBS strategy and assessment for families.

What if you showed up in their world and fought for them. Not just when they show up at church but for things that matter to the families. Think how to make their family vacation great. Road trip help.

Millennial moms want to be perfect

Millennial dads what to be present. Give tips. Carve out this moment. Coach them.

2// Coach them weekly

936 weeks.

Cue parents every week with easy ways to connect with the heart of their child.

Two easy ways to help parents do this one thing.

Go Weekly.

Parent Cues.

It’s too easy to give up. It doesn’t matter if this is your first week or first week in a month, here is one way to connect with your kids.

3// Communicate in their daily routine.

At the right phase and right time. Driving along the road or before bed.

Parent Cue App: All New!

When a parent knows how much time they have left, they tend to do more with the time they have now. Parent Cue App: All New!

Point parents to one thing that is coming and help them prepare!

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A Year Long Next Gen Strategy For Small Groups – E.J. Swanson

Doing more but connecting less and less.

Missing something.

As I got off the stage he was having a bigger impact than when he was on the stage.

Behavior analysis.

When you get into a small group everything begins to change.

Great small group leaders have a consistent dialogue, a back and forth, with the students. Not a monolog.

Small groups matter. Small groups have a huge impact on lives.

NextGenMinistry.org

Some kids will never feel known by God until they are known by someone who knows God. And at Orange, We believe the best place for kids and teenagers to grow spiritually is in the context of relationships. So maybe kids need more leaders, not more lessons.

Structure: How you arrange or manage various parts so they can support something important.

We don’t have time to do things that are not important. Know what is important and create a structure around it. The quality of relationships is linked to the quality of your structure. What is your structure for Sunday morning?

What kind of structure do you have to support the kind of relationship that will help people (students and kids) grow? Habits/systems to support small group relationships.

Organize to be Organic

Relationships need structure, but structure isn’t the goal. The goal is relational connection.

Age changes the roles some. Age/Gender/Interests. Organize and get smaller and smaller to say, “Are you like the people in your group?”

When you are organized, every kid in the room gets a really good seat.

Know and feel “I belong and I’m in.”

When you get in the habit of thinking steps, not programs, kids are more likely to end up where you want them to be.

Think in steps not programs.

Sometimes you have to stop doing something that works if you want something more important to work better. When you get in the habit of thinking steps not programs, kids are more likely to end up where you want them to be. Baptism fear. Address it in steps. See and show them what it is so they are familiar with it so the fear dissipates. What are small groups set up to do? To meet and follow up after the message? A student knowing they can have a conversation about Jesus with an adult that isn’t mom or dad.

Random programs work independently.

Strategic programs work together

Random programs tend to establish competing systems.

Strategic programs establish complementary systems.

Random programs function as activities..

Strategic programs function as steps.

Enhance small groups if we set up the steps in the right way. Not an add-on but a step to something bigger.

Move to the rhythm.

When you make faith a part of the rhythms of life, it becomes more fluid, more natural, and more every day. No one influence kid more than their parent. Chief Discipler. In the summer students have more time than ever, so why shut down? Less stress from school, and later bed time.

100 straight days of activities. Text devotional. House hangouts. Out to eat nights. 4th of July. Small group leader per diem. Not more and more programs but fall in line with the rhythms of the family.

Small groups start in April.

“Very few people are fast enough to keep up with all their good intentions.”

Recruiting / Re-recruiting. Become a magnet and sign people up again.

Jump In – transforming tomorrow today. *Woodside kids/Maxwell

Football jerseys and have signing day. Epic. Screen print. Hat, papers, background, picture holding shirt and wearing hat!

May: Stragglers and Newbies

Get new people across the finish line.

The first ask is to get them to sign up for middle school. New moms can relate to the middle school parents and are closer to that age. Mom of middle schoolers are wishing they can hold the babies again.
June: Background checks and Vision

July: Small group placement for fall and small group leader goals.

Their move up Sunday is in July. Get the kids in their right spot.

Aug: Leader training 1 and communicating with parents.

Praying for you as you transition from x:00 bedtime to x:00.

Sept: Small groups launch / Open house with parents.

Oct: Recalibrate and add energy.

Deal with the anger or frustration of the leader. How can we serve the small group leaders? Lean back into the small group leader and fix their problems.

Nov: Add to your groups and add to your leaders.

The month when most small group leaders quit.

Another kid who starts to get it is exciting to the small group leader. The small group leader comes alive again instead of falling away.

Dec: Celebrate, rest, and create small group leader goals. Give a few weeks off and help them take a deep breath. In December, everyone is busy and needs more time. Give them the rest within the rhythm.

Jan: Relaunch and train based on leader needs.

Submit a google doc with needs, where they need help, and how their group is going. Meet with them. Elementary this is key.

Feb: Train, reward, and go off site.

Highlight the blessings. Take leaders to movie, bowling, dinner, or something in this season because the calendar is open. Credit card bill hits from Dec. Communicate love.

March: Celebrate, meet with leaders 1 on 1, finish strong.

April is coming and communicate the need. Find out if the leaders are returning or not. Ask them what can we do better. Invite a small group leader to bring someone along with them next.

The strategy and rhythm mixed with the culture around it begins to take the leaders (the lifeblood of your ministry) and intertwined them with the parents.