Every Generation Needs a New Revolution #OC20 Notes

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Some people will never admit they changed their minds. Every generation needs a new revolution. – Reggie Joiner

Have you ever changed your mind?

If you could go back and visit the 20-year-old version of yourself what would the interview look like? What would you tell them about how you changed your mind? What advice would you give them? 

How have you changed your mind? How have you changed your mind back? 

Politics? Coffee? Enneagram? 

“People who change their mind, in many ways, are my heroes.” 

What would it look like if we could just created a climate and a culture where we were all honest about changing our mind in a way that’s healthy. 

When someone changes their mind it convinces me they are adaptable, honest, vulnerable, and human. 

If you don’t know what to do, ask yourself the question, “Why did you start doing what you did?” 

When you remember WHY, you will realize it’s OK to change your mind. 

If you’re going to be a leader that’s going to lead through change, you have to be willing to change in order to spotlight and highlight what never changes. 

When you change and when you change your mind, it doesn’t mean your soft or indecisive, it means you can learn, dream, grow, forgive, have empathy, be a leader and be trusted to lead change. 

Paul was someone who changed in a radical way. Anti-Christian but changed. The radical conversion of Paul points to the reality of Jesus. 

Paul would say, “Sometimes it takes a crisis before you can see.”

Paul changed his mind about the Old Testament because of Jesus. Paul changed his mind about BBQ. Paul changed his mind about Peter. Peter was still difficult because Peter had a hard time changing his mind. 

Paul changed his mind about the temple, circumcision, Barnabas, races, nations, and women. Paul was someone who changed his mind. 

A powerful dichotomy with his story and his life. It’s okay to change your mind. It’s important to change your mind. 

Paul changed his mind about people who don’t believe the way he believes. Paul changed his mind about love. 

1 Corinthians 13 is such an interesting idea because of Paul. He wrote a letter so that he can say to a church that sometimes you get confused. Sometimes you forget that what you do needs to be connected to a why and I want to give you a crystal clear why. 

When you remember WHY, you’ll have a FILTER to evaluate everything you do. Paul’s list was different than their list. So what if you preach the truth, without love it doesn’t matter. 

One of the most earth-shattering moments was when Paul said, “If you have FAITH that can move a mountain but you don’t have love, it adds up to nothing.” Paul prioritizes love over faith. A new measurement. That Love Does and Love Wins. His list isn’t about doctrine, worship style, or the church but about love. 

Do you want to evaluate your church? Here’s the list. Love It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

The mic drop was “these three things remain; faith, hope, and love. And to put an exclamation mark he clarifies it again by saying the greatest of these is love. 

It’s almost as if Paul knew the difference of faith without love and faith with love. How people can use faith without love to justify their actions but when you put love in the mix it keeps everything in check. 

When you give kids a faith, it needs to be anchored to love. And hope needs to be tied to love because faith or hope without love doesn’t go anywhere. 

Even the great commission with the absence of love doesn’t make as much sense. 

“You can’t make the right kind of disciples if you don’t really love your neighbor.” 

The why of your mission, the great commission, is the why driven by love. 

Most people aren’t looking or a community of faith, they are looking for a community. Then they will listen to what you say about faith but first community. 

When you remember WHY, you lead others to reimagine HOW. 

Overtime the how begins to shape our identity. Over time it’s easy to allow the how to become more important than the why. How is easy to see and do. How is more measurable. How shapes our identity and then when the how shifts we have an identity crisis. 

The truth is, if you wrap your identity around how you do what you do, you set yourself up. Maybe the identity crisis isn’t the church in general. Somewhere in the context of the wrestle there is a theme that affects our identity. The elephant in the room isn’t communion, confession, or baptism, but the how we do things Sunday. 

We grew up believing and we still do, that there is something magical about Sunday. One day a week built in to set aside. Sunday has been a very important part of our week. Sunday is one of the best opportunities to experience community. People are designed for each other. They are designed to be in a space together. Today we are re-discovering those spaces and finding some digitally. 

Churches should create the best possible experience for families who show up at church on Sunday. 

What you do on Sunday is a big deal and all of a sudden when Sunday stopped, it’s no wonder we began to struggle with what that means. 

Reggie changed his mind about Sunday. He decided that we needed to engage families at church on Sunday. There was something more important than just engaging the kids and we needed to engage the parents. Then Reggie changed his mind about not only engaging the families who showed up at church but we need to leverage Sunday to engage families who are at home. 

To go back to the why we would say we our goal is to help churches to partner with parents to influence the faith and future of a child. What would it look like to think in terms of helping parents win? On Sunday in the church and outside. 

“What happens at HOME is MORE IMPORTANT than what happens at CHURCH.”

What happens at home has more influence. Parents have more time and more influence. The average family has about 3000 hours to influence kids. The average church has about 40 hours with kids who show up constantly. Over time it’s easy to drift and forget the power of what happens at home. We begin to think about what happens at home is “as important” then later you think what happens at church is more important than home. You drift. 

Can we turn the volume up on how we focus on what happens on Sunday in homes? 

Can we think about the families who do show up and be intentional about the families who do not show up. Church will always be a priority for some families, but not for most. 

So, what if every family became a priority for your church, especially those who don’t attend. 

2 mindsets in our country. 

A Sunday at home mindset, they stay home. A Sunday at church mindset, they go to church. 

And some people have both. The tension in our culture is this tension. Most people are Sunday at home families. And most churches are programmed to be Sunday at church churches. 

After Covid-19, families will go back to church. Not all will go back right away. 72% of Americans say they will not go back to a football game until there is a vaccination. Even in the light of the uncertainty of all this, what happened in this crisis is an amazing wake-up call. This gave us the opportunity to think about everyone who’s not coming to church. It forced us to expand our mindset and innovate back to another idea about the family and the home. 

Don’t stop thinking about that when the doors open back up. Let’s keep thinking about the people that don’t come. 

“What if there’s a way to expand our Sunday-at-Church mindset to include a Sunday-at-Home mindset? The truth is a lot of people don’t go to church. What does it look like if we decide the why is love and we need to be intuitional about loving those at home. The number is growing in the Sunday at Home mindset. 

Stats show a 10% drop in church attendance over the last 50 years, now in the last 10 years another 10% drop. Most of our energy goes to Sunday at church. What would it look like if we gave energy to Sunday at home? 

Boomers 76% identify as Christians and 35% have a Sunday at home mindset.

Gen X 69% identify as Christians and 32% have a Sunday at home mindset.

Millennials 49% identify as Christians and 22% have a Sunday at home mindset.

Our tendency is to then try to do church better. But what if we reimagined the how? Look at the big picture. 

In every statistic there’s about a 46-44% difference in those who identify as Christians and those who go to church. So what if we re-imagined the church. What if we tried to raise the 49% stat because more people will in turn show up at church. What if we care about people who have a Sunday at home mindset. What does it look like to bridge into the world of those with a Sunday at home mindset. 

Millennials: 80% believe in God, 69% believe in Heaven, 67 believe religion is important, 64% pray. We assume sometimes that if they have a Sunday at home mindset then they don’t believe in God or are not faith-friendly, but they are interested in spiritual issues. A huge part of our population care about spiritual issues they just don’t go to church. What if we cared for that group? 

Jesus told a parable one day about a shepherd with 100 sheep. If one strays why not leave the 99 for the 1. A powerful message about the value of people. We have about 22% of Millennials with a Sunday at church mindset. We continue to build the church as strong as we can, but what would it look like, in light of what happened in our country, what would it look like for us to leave the 22% to go after the 70%? 

We have a generation who have already redefined church in their mind and they are not showing up on Sunday. 

What would it look like if in your church you started thinking in terms of the families who don’t come, in creative ways? Not simply to get them to change their mind about Sunday but to help them win at home. What if you measured success by Sunday morning attendance and engaging families who don’t show up on Sunday? 

When it comes to budget and vision, if you connect the why to your vision you can get people to invest. There’s a why here that we haven’t even thought about. There are grandparents who would give to that. They have grandkids who have disengaged with the church and would give to something that would help the church re-engage families on their turf in a way that will reengage their faith. They haven’t walked away from God, they haven’t walked away from religion, but they have walked away from attending church. 

If this became a vision we presented in a way that made sense people would follow it. People would say, they have a friend who aren’t going to come to church but if you give me a way to do small group with them to engage with around issues of faith, they will follow. 

There are families who won’t go to your church but if you invite them into something because you are giving them permission to engage faith at home, they would love the idea of being connected to your faith community in a different way then just showing up on Sunday morning. 

The reason we should do this is not the numerical potential but because Paul wrote a letter to the Corinthians. Paul said that love does. 

“Do we love the families who don’t come to our churches as much as we love the families who do?”

What would it look like to put action to that? Yes, Sunday needs to be the best opportunity of the week, but this crisis has taught us to not only get ready for those who come on Sunday but to get ready for those who can’t come or won’t come. 

The church isn’t going anywhere. This isn’t the first storm the church has faced. This isn’t our last wake up call for why we do what we do. 

Somewhere in the context of this all we are trying to do is lean in and ask what would it look like for you to leverage your resources and think in term so this unprecedented time of sending a message to people who don’t know how they connect with you in the church. 

This crisis is like Paul on the road to Damascus. Paul pivoted. Paul changed his mind. It clarified his identity. Paul at that moment in time is the leader that God called to change the gentile world. 

Have you ever wondered WHY you are leading in this moment?

Have you wondered where you fit in this? Have you wondered why you are leading at this moment? In the middle of something that shakes our identity to our core, you are a leader now. This is an indicator that God wants to do do something unique with you, that you have a voice, and God wants to do something. 

Paul pivoted. We can reach a population that has disengaged. We can leverage this as an opportunity to let them know we care about what happens in their home and we want them to win. We can redefine ourselves in a culture that has already redefined us.  

Want to watch the opening session? Click here: https://www.facebook.com/watch/live/?v=295568868115843&ref=watch_permalink

Navigating Change Requires Courageous Leaders

Jimmy Mellado and Reggie Joiner

We are all poor and rich, just in different ways. 

When visiting churches around the world you see that they may not have money but the churches and families with Jesus in the center have all they need. 

The crisis we are all experiencing can be a tool. Something used to help us develop empathy. You have people hurting who have never felt this pain but you also have people around them with constant pain. We need to build empathy to learn and see each other differently. 

This pandemic doesn’t discriminate on status or levels of power. It’s hitting the rich and the poor. The pandemic was a leveler. It doesn’t discriminate on finances or power. The community is coming together because everyone is hurting. 

Leadership is influence plus courage. 

How do you respond in a crisis when you lose productivity and control? Left to ourselves and focusing on ourselves it leads to depression. One of the best antidotes is becoming others-centered. Serving other people. One of the best things you can do for your spatial, emotional, and physical health is serving another person. Leverage your influence and your courage to serve others. Your soul will be built in the process. 

New doesn’t happen without leadership and leadership doesn’t happen without courage and influence. Take people to a new place, a better place. 

Culture doesn’t define what a church should do. Innovate to the original. What is the original intent God placed on the church? Jesus was the most attractive and magnetic person on the planet. When the church doesn’t resemble Jesus, somethings wrong. Change in the church is about deconstructing the human part to look more like Jesus. 

In NFL stadiums lights are turned off. Would we help them fill a symbolic stadium because of Covid-19 and join compassion to sponsor 70,000 kids?

Change Reminds Me Things Can Change

Jonathan Williams 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”

I am just here.

Churches need to get back to their human-ness. Opening up, sharing the pain we’re most scared to share, are the things that can bring people to Christ who are feeling hopeless.

I think the church has an amazing opportunity right now to share its humanness.

Mike Foster, Kara Powell, Kristen Ivy, and Reggie Joiner

How can we as leaders respond to stories like this? 

Jon held a story of suffering inside for about 26 years. Because he held this story, he suffered alone. I want to lead in a way people don’t have to suffer silently with their stories regardless of how they look like. We can create safe places for people to be able to open up. 

You set the tone and the pace for how safe people feel. Sharing our own not so perfect story opens the door. Go first with your own story. 

What do we do when people open up and share their story. 3 responses. 

Validate their pain and feelings. Don’t dismiss or control. Don’t just give them a bible verse. 

Appreciate and honor that act of bravery. 

Refer. We don’t have to have a solution to everybody’s problems. This lie leads you into horrible heart work. You will be over your head so get in the habit of referring and not being the hero with all the answers. Come along the community of healers and helpers. Support in a collective. 

How do we show up in this space and help? 

We are in a unique time and experience. Old coping mechanisms have been stripped away. You can’t fill your time with more activities and people because the world has changed. Step into suffering. 

Kara has been asked a question in the last couple of weeks. Before the quarantine, it was hard to understand young people’s anxiety. Now that we aren’t in the same room it’s even harder to identify anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. How do we get a gage today? 

Be a great listening. Give the gift of full presence. This is what Jesus did and this is the mark of true love. 

I’m here, you’re not alone, but it is your work to get done. 

Opening the door is such a big deal when partnering with parents. Parents can have conversations with their kids. Look kids in the eye and ask how they are doing and let them know there is nothing they can’t tell us. 

Tips for building relationships? Sometimes we live in denial about our own kids. We know other families are struggling but not our kids. Ask the hard question and lean in. What is sleep looking like? What is eating look like? What is the tone of conversations? You can’t delegate this role to a pastor. 

On a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being very anxious and 1 not being anxious at all. 6 and above you need to bring in support. If they can’t pick their own number say I feel like you are a # and see how they respond. Do something to create specificity and put it into words. Draw what you’re feeling inside. 

A daily check-in with your mind, your heart, and your body. How are your thoughts? What are the emotions you are feeling right now? Can you name them and identify them and are you carrying them? In your body are you holding any tension in your body? Your body communicates your mental health but you rarely ask how you are feeling in your body. 

There are times we miss it and the signs are hard to read. If your kids are suffering and you had no idea, that is very common. As proactive as you can be there’s not one thing you could do to make everything safe for your kid. 

We carry a lot of guilt and shame around these topics and it brings more bad health. 

Give them a way to qualify their feelings. How is the weather? 

Mental health is not a one-person solution. Community Care. Bring in additional help and resources. 

OrangeLeaders.com/resources 

If you’re wrestling right now, invite someone in. 

We as leaders need to gather help, use the resources available. 

Give hope to a generation. Hope is one of the things that remain and hope is tied to love. 

The Gospel is Still Good News

Kristen Ivy

 Is the hope that I have to offer really enough. 

Ask yourself why 5 times. 

Why is the Gospel good news? Why? Why? Why?

We need to be prepared to give an answer but we need to pause to ask the question of why they are asking the question. 

The good news to me might not sound like good news to someone else. Pause long enough to know how to respond to people. 

Become all things to all people. Paul was suggesting we need to understand people first. It’s hard to give people hope before knowing why they need hope. Understand their perspective. 

If you want the good news, to sound like good news, you need to understand WHY it’s good news for everyone.

The Gospel is good news for everyone 

(from 5 essential perspectives)

World 1 Separation &  Union

Problem: Abandonment

Jesus is the revealer and gives us hope of heaven. 

World 2 Conflict & Vindication 

Problem: Oppression

Jesus is Messiah/ Liberator

World 3 Emptiness & Fulfillment  *Majority

Problem: Insignificance

Jesus is Example/ Model

World 4 Condemnation & Forgiveness

Problem: Sin/Ego

Jesus is Savior/ Redeemer

World 5 Suffering & Endurance

Problem: Meaninglessness

Jesus is Suffering Servant

It matters if you want to give hope…if you want to give an answer to the question someone is asking. 

What do you do when someone says, “I don’t feel as guilty as they want me to feel.” How do you share the Gospel with someone who doesn’t see the need for this good news? 

Whenever you deliver one kind of worship song, preach one worldview, you are lacking a theology that someone in the room needs. 

If you want the good news to sound like good news, we all need variety. What worship songs speak to all 5 perspectives? What messages would preach to all 5 perspectives? There is a richness to the Gospel if we just lean into it completely. Remember why the Good News is the good news for everyone. 

The Grace You Give Yourself Changes Everything. 

Nona Jones

Outrun the pain of past failure. 

Peter, the Rock. 

Who do you say I am?
The Messiah the Son of the living God. 

Shame – What I did.

Guilt – Who I am.

The Rock is saying who I am.
The Rooster is saying who I will never be.

No matter how deeply you have been broken, you are never beyond the reach of God’s grace.

Your brokenness is not your burden, your brokenness is your ministry. 

My grace is sufficient for you. My strength is made perfect in weakness. 

The grace you give yourself changes everything. 

Step into the second act of your calling. Peter accepted the grace God gave him and his situation. 

How to Build Digital Community? 

No matter what you think you know, you never know what the future knows. This uncertainty is an opportunity. 

Church, you have to pivot. 

You have to let go of normal. God is kicking us out of the box of what church is. Jesus put his name on people not on buildings. You innovate to the original. Going back to the starting point of what really matters. 

How you can learn and teach yourself? Who can you talk to and listen to? 

Don’t be intimidated by tech. It’s built to be user friendly. Investigate and explore. 

Dive in. You’re not going to learn with a manual or article. You will learn by doing it. 

Don’t relegate technology to the social media team. You will become so reliant on them you won’t be able to function. 

The future is bright. God knew this was going to happen. He called you to leadership during this season. You are placed here for such a time as this. Lean into the opportunity it provides. Don’t allow the enemy to make you feel overwhelmed. 

Everything Changes But You Can Still Play

Simon Sinek

Organizations face change all the time. The internet changed everything, it put some companies out of business and propelled others. What’s different about this is it’s more sudden than what we are used to. 

How are we going to adapt our model to these new times? We have to have these meetings, quickly. 

Why did we get into this business in the first place? When we set out on this journey of risk and uncertainty we stepped out knowing it was worth it. What was worth it then is still worth it now. 

The learning curve is steep. The standards for quality are much lower now. Think at home wearing a t-shirt and things put together with duct tape. We can fix things as we go. There’s an opportunity if we are willing to change. 

Change actually highlights what doesn’t change. 

The crisis is a great revealer of people, inner strength, relationships, and the stupidity of how we have been living our lives. We actually think our political views are important but when a tornado goes through a town we don’t care about color, politics, and our religious beliefs we realize we are all in this together. 

Crisis gets us out of the weeds. We have become a very selfish society. 

If you are leaning into leaders who are on the front lines and saying to them you are in this time for a reason. You have a platform and an opportunity. What should they say and do because the world is watching them. 

This is a time of asking for help and vulnerability. Embrace it. You can’t do it all. People aren’t disposable. There’s too much going on and too many balls in the air to juggle. If you want to save jobs and lives literally and figuratively then say to the people you are working with, I can not do this alone and need your help. As a team, we are strong enough to do this together. Embrace the strength of others. 

Infinity Game – Play to play not play to win. Why keep moving? Finite games have winners and losers with fixed rules. Infinite games you stay in as long as you can to move the game forward. There’s no such thing as winning in education or your marriage. It’s not about being #1 or beating your competitors. You can not win in a game that has no finish line. When you play to win in a game that doesn’t end you destroy trust and innovation. Play the game with the right mindset. This season is just part of the journey. 

This is our first global pandemic but it’s not the first. We will get through this. 

Creating a “Love Works” Model

Joel Manby 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Love works as a leadership principle. 

Without culture, we don’t keep the great people. Culture is critical to stay and be engaged. 

The level of enthusiasm of your church experience will never rise above that of your employees and volunteers. You have a culture whether you define it or not. Teach the words of love to teach a great culture. 

Love is Jesus #1 commandment and the problem to being effective. 

Engagement scores go up when you put love in place. 

You have a culture whether you define it or not. Most companies have their plaques on the wall for their values but only 10% put practices behind it. Define the words and what they mean. 

Do goals. Be goals. Get the top raise. 

Do goals are numerical and be goals are the type of leaders you want to be. Measured and reinforced. 

If it works, why do we not do it more? 

It might come across as soft or hard to measure. 

Love Works

Create this culture by defining it, put the surveys out, then talk about it continually. Be brutally honest if someone is failing. Allow everyone to speak it back to you. 

Everything Changes But Nothing Changes with Paula Dannielle, Crystal Chiang, Tom Shefchunas

We need to change. How we measure things has to changes. When life changes it helps us look at things differently. What’s under the rug. 

Nothing changes quite like a kid changing through the phases. 

It’s not okay to take the 5 ways the Gospel is good news for everyone for granted in preschool. Talk about the essentials. 

Attendance isn’t a good measure of success. How to measure if a small group is working. 

How do you talk about middle school? What’s the reputation? When you want to gain leaders, you have to talk about the ministry differently. 

Breakout 1 Re-Evaluating Your Next-Gen Ministry with Lisette Fraser

To be ready for when a crisis hits, plan for the life stage transitions.

Church as we know it is closed, we have time to take steps back and evaluate. 

When we reopen how do we make sure we don’t miss the most important things. 

Elevate Community

Give every kid a caring leader & a predictable and safe community where they can grow spiritually.

Because it’s hard we lean into the idea that information creates transformation but we know this is a faulty formula. Information plus conversation multiplied by relationship creates transformation. 

Anything that was a crack now becomes a chasm. If you were lacking leadership in this area then now the crack is huge. 

Reprioritize the importance of community! 

Engage Every Parent

Engage parents to have a positive influence in the spiritual development of their own kids.

Sometimes we think we are better at spiritual developing kids than parents are. Don’t slip into this. 

Another tension is how to engage with a parent that isn’t physically there. The further the parent is the less we consider them. We need to fight for this priority. 

How do you view your role? Are the driver of the faith journey or a passenger in the families car? 

Take an honest look at how many parents you are engaging. Really consider how many you are talking to and when. Are you chasing parents? If they are really the most important how are you engaging them and equipping them for success. 

Align Leaders 

Align leaders to lead with the same end in mind with a common language and a common strategy.

Someone believes they are the red-headed stepchild. They might also think they are the favorite. 

Get everyone on the same page moving the same direction. Every leader matters. 

As a nextgen leader, we help everyone see the whole picture together and to clear the lane for them to run in the right direction clearly. 

It’s easier to allow everyone to run their own direction but it’s not better. 

In a world in constant change, what if the world was the place of peace and stable. 

Have you identified a strategy and common language? 

Do we hold people accountable to it?

Refine the Message

Craft core truths into engaging, relevant and memorable experiences that correlate with the faith formations of each phase.

Every age and phase needs something different. Each message needs to be refined differently. 

Think of a child’s life holistically. Before and after usage and stage-wise, we are all carrying the ball the same way.

Influence Service

Create consistent opportunities for kids and teenagers to serve.

Tension of our scope to serve faithfully. Everyone can serve at every age and stage. How do we reflect that we believe young people can serve now. Equip the adult leaders who will serve with them. 

Can little kids greet? Can they park cars? How do we equip kids and leaders to receive them to be serving? 

Social media now is how to come alongside families. How can we equip parents this week to disciple their kids? What tools can we put in their hands? 

We all think differently and approach ministry differently. We need to hear how other people are doing because it’s not that one is better than the other. 

Find projects you can build together that benefits everyone. Help everyone see that we all have the same kids and are walking them all down the same path. 

We have been hired to champion the phases. Share stories. Nothing changes minds or helps people understand more than a story. Generate and tell great stories. 

First, define reality and know what is there to work with. Next, evaluate how you are doing. See where your gauges are and define direction. 

Leverage tools because people are more important than the grind of ministry. Trust volunteers to lead in significant roles. 

To mobilize kids and students you need to know who you are partnering them with. Help the whole church care about the legacy of the church. We know serving is a significant role. Everyone is searching for identity, belonging, and purpose and serving makes this possible. Help the church and the adults see how them training kids and coming alongside kids to be serving. Remind them of what this was like for them when they first started. Can they do the same for the young person? Maybe they didn’t have a chance as a young person and now they can give a young person a chance. 

Thoughts on digital and physical moving forward? 

There are places where we can be more effective online compared to in person. People might not show up in person but online. Is there a hybrid available where you can do something online and in person. Decentralizing some things. Help people lead in their communities and in their homes. Small groups only for a season, how do we really empower leaders to be doing ministry as opposed to gathering. 

Breakout 2 Relaunching Your Church By Making Families Stronger with Geoff Surratt

What can be more effective in family ministry? 

If you had a lot of kids and a lot of events and no one was arrested then you felt successful. If you sent kids to camp and people were saved every year then you felt successful. In kids ministry if you kept the kids entertained while their parents when to church then you felt successful. Everything changes when you realize the goal is to partner with parents. 

Partner with Parents

Parents are more present at home.

Families are more connected to the church.

The big question was HOW?

The picture of a child with their parent praying with a small group leader over zoom. This is the picture of family minstry. 

Four Revolutionary Opportunities for Families

1 Environments for families to Worship Together

Create experiences where families and kids can come together. Families going to church together in a tent is a memorable experience. How do we carry this idea and experience forward? 

2 Creative ways for families to Play Together

Game nights or kids and their parents.

3 Resources for Families to Grow Together

Parent resource website – one easy to find spot. 

Online small groups for every age, even preschool. 15 minutes of crazy. 

4 Opportunities for families to Serve Together

A family parade to the assisted living communities. Create moments for families to serve together. Birthday drive-by parades. 

We have to make it

Easy

Fun

Meaningful

Groups of 50 or 100:

What can ministry look like with these groups? What does online continue to look like? 

Not just a bandage but new thinking and opportunity. What if it continues like this for the rest of the year or for years? 

Let’s not panic and post something everywhere, let’s take a breathe and realize it’s a marathon. Help them engage again. 

What if we celebrate when families are not at church but pastoring their teams or being out doing ministry? 

Breakout 3 How to Make Small Groups Win for Kids with Keedren & Keturah Boston 

People need two things.
A person and a place.

A gym can still make kids feel like it’s their own place. 

Lead Small – You can have a big impact in kids when you invest in kids. 

Small groups give kids someone. 

Someone who cares. 

A small group leader.

Small groups give kids somewhere. A safe environment and atmosphere to belong.

How are you allocating your resources?  

Act like you believe it.

Improve your structure to make relationships matter.

Structure is important because kids need order. Be organized to be organic. Small groups need to actually be small groups. 

Empower leaders who make relationships matter.

Create experiences where make relationships matter.

How does your calendar year impact small groups? When do you promote? At the end of the kindergarten year do you say goodbye or do you say hello? What are you communicating to kids and families? How do you help your few go to the next level? 

Professionals are not always those with the titles and degrees but the team you are leading. Give them the opportunity and show them the expectations. Do you have consistent leaders who are committed and showing up weekly? 

There’s nothing worse then a leader who doesn’t feel needed or know what is expected of them. 

Your best leaders recruit the best leaders. This is a process not an event. 

Spoil your leaders. Love them. 

Create experiences where relationships matter. Circle Time. Give a talking piece. 

Have compassion and show compassion. 

Zoom and google hangout are a great resource for your families and kids.

Communicate these to families and let the know what’s available. 

Allow leaders to speak into the vision and know they have a safe place to voice insights into the ministry. 

Consider doing training now. 

Record session if people miss things. 

Every Sunday is someones first Sunday. 

Let everyone in the small group speak. Make sure everyone is comfortable sharing. 

Go directly into circles with the talking piece so they are ready to start sharing and talking. Give them something physically to hold and talk. After circle time they break into even smaller groups. 

Breakout 4 – Responding To Kids With Anxiety And Depression with Dave Thomas & Sissy Goff

Anxiety and Depression Statistics

‣ Anxiety is now considered a childhood epidemic in America, affecting 1 in 4 kids. Girls twice as likely.

‣ 10-15% of children and teenagers are depressed at any given time.

‣ Teenagers are 5-8x more likely to fit the criteria for anxiety or major depression than half a century ago.

‣ In a survey of students in grades 9-12, 16% of students reported seriously considering suicide, 13% reported creating a plan, and 8% reported trying to take their own life in the 12 months preceding the survey.

Look for:

A loss of interest in things they used to love. If they withdraw from friends. A lot of tears. An emotional withdrawal. In childhood, it’s recognized pretty easy but in students, it just sounds like adolescences. With teens watch for this to manifest with their peers. Normally kids might feel that way at home and they lift with their friends. 

With anxiety, it’s like the one loop roller coaster at the fair. When they keep coming back over and over again and they can’t kick it. 

Endless questions. When they keep asking the same issues. 

Watch for exploding and imploding. Anger is a secondary emotion. When kids meltdown with a schedule change. With no predictability or lead time they explode. Implodes become perfectionistic. Stomach aches before school. 

Anxiety is also a parenting epidemic. 8 years old is often the onset. Parents might also bring anxiety to their kids. 

Parents escape and avoid it. They might pull them out of situations instead of helping them work through the scary things.  

Anxiety is an overestimation of the problem and an underestimation of themselves. 

Help – For the body, brain, and heart. 

When we are calm we have blood flow in our brains and in the front of our brains to think rationally and manage our emotions. When we are emotionally charged the blood flow moves to the back of the brain and fight or flight kicks in. Help blood flow move back to the front. Start with slow relaxation breathing. Square breathing or combat breathing. 

Grounding Techniques. Move the brain back to the present and not the past. Often teach kids to work with their scenes. 54321. 5 things see hear smell taste. Count backward from 7. Something to reset the brain. 

Then help them with their hearts. Make sure they have an emotional vocabulary. Get a feelings chart. Faces with expressions and words under. Develop an emotional vocabulary because kids are switching words around. They don’t say “sad” anymore they say depressed. Before they said they would run away but today they say they will kill themselves.  

Kids use words but don’t really know what they mean. Help them accurately express their feelings. 

Help kids do the scary thing. Gradually like steps on a ladder. 

Help kids practice. Practice makes progress. 

God has not given you a Spirit of fear. This resets their brain and hides God’s word in their hearts. 

Hope

Kids feel the bravest when someone who loves them reminds them of the truth of who they are. 

 “In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

There has never been this space and time when they talk about emotions so much but their faith is not impacting their emotions. We need a net of faith to catch us when we fall. There is trouble but take heart because Jesus has overcome the world. Call out bravery you see in kids. 

Remind kids of the reality of who God called them to be. They are not alone, God is with them and redeeming them. Remind them of this truth. 

Kids often go 2 years before they get help. 

Come to parents in a collaborative way. I wonder if we are seeing the same things. The “of course” principle. Of course, you know we are in it to help you. Of course, you know it would be damaging to talk negatively about your ex in front of your kids. 

Parents who are type-a had anxiety when they were growing up but didn’t talk about it growing up. We want to help find ways to support you and your child at this time. 

Watch your own anxiety in front of your kids because they absorb it. Managing your own anxiety will help your kids with theirs. 

Everything Changes but Change Doesn’t Affect Everybody the Same. 

Monec Johnson, Meaghan Wall, Diane Kim

Build a bridge to families throughout our communities. 

Every family should have a family app. You can customize the parent cue app for your families. 

There’s a gap of about 70,000 kids who need sponsored through compassion. Visit compassion.com/teamup-orange to donate. 

When everything changes, things change in a different way for different people. 

Our perception changes constantly. The church is so tightly sealed in a box that sometimes special needs kids don’t fit in. Make sure every single person can experience the love of God. 

There may be some homes where parents are activity seeking a partnership. Where they need help with their child with special needs. 

Get the resource on OrangeLeaders.com/resources called Every Family 

You can experience a love that liberates from fear. Danielle Strickland

No one can stop an idea whose time has come –Winnie Mandela 

Components of revolutions: 

1) An incredible idea at the right time.

2) A catalytic leader with a community of support.

3) Some sort of mechanism to communicate the original message.

The revolution Jesus introduced was inside out. An eternal revolution.

Love is a revolution. 

Jesus’ revolution started with an idea, the most radical and revolutionary idea ever. The idea that God is love and we are loved by God.

God is love. And you are loved by God. These are the two ideas at the core of the revolution of God.

The fullness of time. Or at just the right time. The idea that God is love came to earth. 

Love is an inside out revolution that awakens us to see what could be.

Love invites us to know the truth, to get at the truth. Not just about God, but about us.

Love woke me up.

Love awakens us to what could be and what should be.

Love empowers us to be the revolution that the world desperately needs.

Love the ultimate revolution. We hold up not a national flag, but a Kingdom flag.

Reggie Joiner, Bernice King, Jennifer Barnes, Sam Collier

Prayer, “God will you give me friends of color.” 

It starts with a desire. If you have a desire you will seek it out. That seeking will lead you to people who are different than you. If you are closed minded, it just doesn’t happen. 

Be a seeker of people who are different than you. 

Be on an open minded journey. 

Treat people with dignity and respect. 

Be a bridge, not just racially but generationally. 

Jesus always talked about us being one. One above all else. It can be difficult to press pause long enough on your pain to connect. If we’re going to see the kingdom rise like never before, we’re going to have to do that Jesus work to pause and connect.

The issue of privilege is a serious issue in our world.

We don’t want to punt the problem to the next generation. We need to dig in and be courageous going forward. 

What is it about the word “privilege” that puts people on the defensive.

Give yourself permission to be vulnerable in relationships. 

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.

We need to change our approach for a generation that’s changed their minds.

Paul said I have become all things to all people. 

We need to change our approach for a generation that’s changed their mind.

The Next Generation Still Needs a Dynamic Faith – Andy Stanley

Learn everything we can so we will be better the next time around. Create an icon, something as a physical reminder to take the lesson forward. 

How to invite the next generation into a dynamic faith. “Invite” being the dynamic word. 

What does it mean to have a great church? Be lead by people who love Jesus, love like Jesus, and have a plan to help the next generation love Jesus. 

Churches that have a plan for the next generation, generally do better as a church. Churches invested in the next generation have more resources. 

If you’re going to be a church that is about the next generation, organize your church towards the next generation as far as staffing and budget. No matter what’s on the wall. Organizations are dumb things, they do what they are organized and structured to do. Organize to this idea of the next generation. 

All information and misinformation is at their fingertips 24/7. This sets this generation apart form all other generations. In terms of how we talk about the Bible, we have not embraced this reality. 

Not only do they know what’s in the Bible, because you are teaching them, but they can find out what else is in the Bible. All the parts we have skipped or don’t want them to ask us about. 

This generation is on a meaning and security quest, not a truth quest. We can leverage this for a dynamic faith. This is important in our approach to the invitation. 

Inclusion, diversity, and sustainability are moral issues for this generation. Not political issues but right and wrong moral issues. 

With one silly statement or wrong humor you can undermine your credibility with this generation. This is true in their minds but not consistent in their worldview. 

Love is their ethic but it is loosely and conveniently defined. It’s very situational and conversational. They come to the defense of those who are mistreated but will break up with their girlfriend over text. 

In light of that…

1. Frame the invitation around following Jesus. Rather than an invitation to pray or become a noun of a Christian. A dynamic faith. The word Christian isn’t dynamic anymore but simply a label. Ask, “Are you following Jesus?” Jesus follower reflects the first century calling of a Christian. Someone who is acting or being like Christ. Is it just what you believe or what you do and behave? Lordship. Have you acknowledged God as the Lord you will follow? Be a doer and not just a believer. Doing is what makes all the difference. Do you hear Jesus and put His words into practice? Are your students building their house on sand? 

2. Establish the Gospels as the text that informs their faith. Not the entire Bible. Inviting into a dynamic faith. Draw their attention to the text of the Gospels. The Old Testament got Jesus here but the New Testament shows us who He is. 

Hebrews 10:1, “The law is only a shadow of the good things that are coming—not the realities themselves.” 

The OT looked ahead but now that the reality is here, that should be our focus. We are inviting students to follow Jesus. 

All authority in heaven and earth has ben given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28:19. 

The starting point of inviting the next generation to a dynamic faith is to invite them to follow Jesus. The Christian faith did not begin with Genesis. The Christian faith began with Jesus. All authority rests with Jesus. The Bible doesn’t create Christianity, Jesus did. 

In the pre-internet world, this concept didn’t matter as much but today the next generation has access to everything in the Bible without ever touching a Bible. So, inviting this generation to a faith based on the authority of the entirety of the Bible is a non-starter because they can discover within 20-30 minutes all the parts that do not support the Christian faith. They are going to ask good questions. Better questions then you ask. They are far less incline to develop a presuppositional faith. 

Our faith can withstand the onslaught of the critics, if we build our faith on the right foundation, the Gospels, Jesus. 

3. Anchor their orthopraxy to Jesus’s new covenant command. Orthopraxy is right practice or behavior. What they do with their bodies and their money. 

Jesus taught in John 13:34-35, “ A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” 

Jesus creates the guardrails for this love. Specifically defined. Where we should start in what it looks like to follow Jesus. We don’t get to make this up, we are told exactly what love looks like. To love like Jesus. 

In the Gospels we see this brand of love illustrated through Jesus. In the letters of Paul we see this love applied. Forgive as you have forgiven. Submit to one another. All pointing to Jesus example. 

If the invitation is to be dynamic faith, begin with the invitation to follow Jesus, anchor them with the Gospels, and the beginning of application to follow Jesus is the command to love one another. 

By this the world will see you are my follower, if you love. Following Jesus is about a life you live. At the center is love. This love is laying down your life for a friend. Putting others first. Forgiving because you have been forgiven. Accepting because you have been accepted by God. 

The dynamic of faith is not what we believe but what we do. Following Jesus is dynamic. This makes faith real and practical. 

What does love require of me? 

You can do this. You must do this. 

What’s more important than the faith of the next generation? Nothing.

Build a bridge to families inside and outside of your church. 

Phase Project with Kristen Ivey

What are the basic and core things you need to know at every phase. Every parent knows their child better than any other person on the planet. The guide is designed to help the parent fill the information in with what they know. 

What You Do This Week Still Matters with Doug Fields

Philippians 1:1 “This letter is from Paul and Timothy, slaves of Christ Jesus. I am writing to all of God’s holy people in Philippi who belong to Christ Jesus, including the church leaders[a] and deacons. May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.”

What still matters is being…In Contact. 

Phone calls worked then and they work now. Recording and sending short videos. Do your kids and leaders know you want to be with them. 

Philippians 1:3-4, “Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy”

What still matters is being…In Prayer

Are you praying for the flock God has entrusted to your care. Do they actually know about it? 

Type in prayer request and follow up. 

Philippians 1:6, “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

What still matters is being…Spiritually Encouraging. 

This means painting a picture of hope. Church is a safe place for them to return when they do fail. Jesus painted this picture with Simon. What picture are you painting for those entrusted to your care? 

Not as sexy as zoom calls and digital baptism but what the church did and what is on display. Some things just don’t need to change. 

How the church response will change the next generation with Kara Powell 

Pastor Fails

90% of questions how we can do church online. 10% about howe we could be church all week. Is this how we should function? Whether we can meet in person or digital.

How did Jesus spend His time? Certainly not 90% inside the church and in church worship. 

When it comes to our time and engird the revolution focuses less on our worship services and more on our service of others. 

Your churches resources and other’s needs. The beauty happens when these two interact and overlap. What resources do you have that can be leveraged to meet needs. 

Now, consider the resources of young peoples time. Can you help meet the needs of schools in the neighborhoods? Traditions have been crushed. Over the summer, serve locally and offer replacement events. How are you using the resources of young people’s times. Mailing origami. Thinking of you and would love to connect. Help meet needs of your neighborhood. Creating flyers and distributed door to door. Are you struggling, call our church. 

Use young people’s time to serve the marginalized. Senior adults. Senior to senior service. Left with two pots of flowers, one left for the student and one for the senior to give to another senior citizen. 

Visit FullerYouthInstitute.org/orange to maximize your ministry during this pandemic. 

Young people don’t want to go to a meeting they want to be part of a movement. 

Young people leave the church to find the church.

Don’t snap back to normal, harness this time for a new deeper revolution. 

A kid will get over what I teach then, but they will never get over what God does through them.” -Reggie Joiner 

How to Start a Kindness Revolution with Brad Montague

We all still need to be good neighbors. 

Six words from Fred. “You were a child once, too.”

Be who you needed when you were younger. 

Don’t edit someone’s work. Elevate it.

Breakout 5 Developing Other Leaders with Doug Fields 

What makes you a good leader who helps people? That’s just what you do when you care for people. Why are we not very good at it? Many church leaders are busy, scared, and insecure. 

Self-preservation leader: busy, scared, and insecure. 

Few church leaders are intentional with developing other leaders. 

Leaders have to decide if they want to leave a legacy of one or a legacy of many. 

Give up your pride.

Not easy because in ministry we rarely get credit for the work we do. Become a spotlight leader. Insecure leaders don’t bring out the best in others. 

Give up your perfectionism. 

We know the cliche if we want the job done do it yourself. This is not a beatitude from the sermon on the mount. They might not do it as good as you…right away, but you are developing them. 

Give them your genuine belief

I don’t think you can encourage people too much. People are dying for encouragement. People need more encouragement than training. Make a list of your leaders. Pray over them. Ask, what do you see in these leaders that maybe they don’t see. 

You don’t delegate tasks, you dump them

Give them meaningful relationships. 

Give them real responsibilities

A responsibility is significant when both the rewards and the risks are real. 

Give them meaningful relationships 

Invite them into your life.

Not to use them but to know them. If you are burning through leaders and have poor retention then you are using people. 

Give them accountability.

 If you expect something, you need to inspect it. If you hire someone, don’t turn your back on them. Develop them and bring out the best in them. Make them into great leaders. 

3 times a year, Doug goes through leaders and gives every volunteer an a, b, or c. 

A’s need encouragement. Maybe get the pastor or a leader to write them a letter. 

B’s need intentional coaching and hand holding. 

C’s are how you get them into another ministry in the church. 

Give them freedom. 

The best idea wins. You don’t always have to win. Let them lead in a way that is different than you. 

Give. 

Breakout 6 Increasing Your Influence and Effectiveness in Kids Ministry with Kellen Moore

Talk about it.

‣ Talk openly about what is going well and poorly in your world.

‣ Cheer for each other when you’re talking about each other.

‣ Share stories of students that grew up in your kids ministry.

Develop a curiosity about the youth ministry. 

Collaborate

‣ on transitions.

‣ on the budget. 

‣ on space.

‣ on volunteers.

 Create a common language for families

‣ Small groups vs. disciple groups vs. life groups

‣Teaching calendar vs. scope and cycle

‣ Drop-off vs. check-in

‣ Baptism vs. big splash

Breakout 7 Create Something for Kids that Parents Love with Angela Santomero

 Vision: All media must have a vision to make the world a better place for kids

Mission: My Mission for all the media work I do is to empower, challenge and build the self- esteem of kids, while making them laugh!

Healthy Green Media Smoothie

‣ Equal parts: ‣ Educate ‣ Interact

‣ Engage

‣ Helps to create and identify high quality media

 Universal Truths of Kids

Needed to create and identify high quality media: 

‣ Play

‣ Pause 

‣ Repeat 

‣ Model 

‣ Help

 Kindness is at the Foundation of everything we do.

Breakout 8 Things Every Ministry Leaders Should Know About Foster Care with Josh Shipp

Foster kids will test you. 

Like the lab bar on a roller coaster. 

Kids will test you to see if you’ll hold

Foster kids will act out. 

What kids don’t talk out…they act out

The very first adult.

It’s not about you.

It’s about someone prior to you. 

When they act out…you lean in. Double down.

“You are awesome…but this was not. Here’s what’s going to happen.” Give foster kids certainty. I will have to do this. 

Foster kids often feel ashamed. 

690,000 kid in the foster care system.

“I used to be one of the but I felt alone.”

Lies: Alone, Broken, Unlovable.

Goal: Identify a peer “lighthouse” a navigational aid and warn of danger. 

Widen the circle. 

The Power of One Caring Adult TED Talk -for teens. 

Lead them with Vulnerability 

Lead with vulnerability

Start where they are

Voice their skepticism

Lead to where they should be. 

Your imperfections make you human

Your humanity makes you influential. 

Foster Kids Need a Coach

Don’t lecture then – coach them. 

Pre-Game: Rehearse

What potential challenges do they need to be prepared to face? 

Post-Game: Review

What did we learn?

During-Game: Release

Can they succeed without me?

Foster Parents Need Support

Practical Support

3 hours or 3 meals

Encouragement and Consequences

Auto-Schedule encouragement 

Pre-define rules and consequences. 

Every kid is one caring adult away rom being a success story. 

Promote Counseling

Both parents and kids

Destigmitize

Healthy Expectation

Easy Out

If Possible: Remove $$$ hurdle

Counseling is for the breathing. 

To get resources, text the word JOSH to 66866

Book: No Matter What – A foster care tale by Josh Shipp

Final Words with Reggie Joiner

Creativity thrives in crisis. 

People Need:
To stay connected
To be encouraged now
To win this week
To imagine what’s next

What does it take for us to stack hands on a bigger vision to reach the world in the middle of a crisis to remind them that these three things remain: faith, hope and love?

We all need each other. 

Tomorrow start thinking in terms of how do we start talking about this. 

Capture the imagination that is watching. 

Keep changing your mind for the sake of what never changes. 

I hope to see you at the Orange Conference in 2021! Get the best price now at http://theorangeconference.com

Over 70 Breakout Options for Your Ministry

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Options, especially customized options, just make life better. 

Imagine walking into your favorite ice cream shop and there only being vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry. Or imagine going to a car lot with only one option to buy. Customized options can give you exactly what you need in the context you need it. 

At this year’s Orange Conference you have over 70 options for your breakouts. Ministry leaders from around the country with different backgrounds and specialties will create customizable options for you to select from help you improve your leadership and ministry. You can choose from the following breakout tracks: Children, City Strategy, Family Experience, General, High School, Lead Small, Middle School, NextGen Leader, Orange 101, Parent Strategy, Phase, Preschool, Preteen, Rural Strategy, Salvation Army, Special-Needs, Start Up, and Volunteer. 

This “choose your own adventure” style of breakout options can help you pick what is most relevant to your own experience. Whether you want to focus on a specific age group or work on a particular leadership skill, there will be options. 

 Although my needs my change between now and OT20 and therefore I might need to make changes to my own selections, here are the breakout options I have selected for this year’s conference:

  • Respond To The LGBTQ Reality 
  • Responding To Kids With Anxiety And Depression
  • Keys To Developing Other Leaders
  • Successfully Launching Your First Or Next Campus

Sort through your options today and customize a learning experience so you get the most out of this year’s conference. And if you’re up for it, drop a comment and let me know what you have selected for yourself this year!

Orange Small Group Leader Resource Reviews and Giveaways

Giveaway 

To Enter To Win: https://kingsumo.com/g/tuoom3/small-group-leader-resource-giveaway 

As you look back on this past year, what has changed in your ministry? If you’re not intentional, you can easily drift into bad habits and ineffective ministry. If you want this new year to be an opportunity to intentionally recharge and redirect you and your leaders, here are two books to set you in the right direction. 

When Relationships Matter – Make your church a place where kids and teenagers belong. 

Before kids and teenagers can wrestle with abstract concepts like faith, hope, and the meaning of life, they need to know who loves them and where they belong. When Relationships Matter explores three values and nine practices that will help you create and improve your small group strategy. 

If you want to measure the success of your weekly experiences for kids and teenagers, you need to ask two questions. Are kids connected? Are they known? Research shows that kids who have five or more adults who invest in their faith over time have a greater chance of having a mobilized faith. When relationships matter, everything changes.

“The best way to help kids know God is to connect them with someone who knows God.” – Reggie Joiner

“We have to go out of our way to create a culture in which it’s safe for kids and students to ask hard questions about faith.” – Tom Shefchunas 

“Never sacrifice the next generation on the altar of your past methods and preferences.” – Reggie Joiner

“If you want to fight for everyday, authentic faith in the next generation, you need to support the relationships that matter most.” – Kristen Ivy

Check out When Relationships Matter, the newest release for leaders of small group leaders from Orange. Visit https://whenrelationshipsmatterbook.com to download a sample (plus some FREE RESOURCES).

 

Lead Small – Five big ideas every small group leader needs to know.

Lead Small clarifies the role and responsibilities of the small group leader who works with children and teenagers. It explains five proven strategies you can use to lead your small group well:

• BE PRESENT . . . so you can connect your kids’ faith to a community

• CREATE A SAFE PLACE . . . to clarify their faith as they grow

• PARTNER WITH PARENTS . . . to nurture an everyday faith in kids

• MAKE IT PERSONAL . . . to inspire their faith by your example

• MOVE THEM OUT . . . to engage their faith in a bigger story

“When we lead small we simply make a choice to invest strategically in the lives of a few over time so we can help them build an authentic faith.”

“If you are simply trying to instill faith and morals for the sake of your few, but it’s not a personal priority, they’ll eventually catch on.”

“A child will never feel significant until you give them something significant to do.”

“Your few are not problems to be solved. They are people to be loved.”

Check out Lead Small, a must-read for every small group leader. Visit http://www.leadsmallbook.com to download a self-evaluation guide to see how you are currently partnering with parents and a next step build to build a stronger partnership. 

To Enter To Win: https://kingsumo.com/g/tuoom3/small-group-leader-resource-giveaway 

Orange Tour 2019 Notes #OT19

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Learn together, lead together. 

Kristen Ivey – @Kristen_Ivy

Maybe: Personal is the opposite of shallow. 

Literal opposite of shallow, deep. We underline and filter for Instagram. 

A better alternative than becoming deeper is to become personal. 

Shallow is fast, dismissive, safe, and costs money. 

Personal takes risks, is interested, risky, and costs me. 

Do we offer shallow hope? Do we preach shallow truth? 

Move out of the shallow by: 

You can’t stop being shallow unless you learn to see someone. Andy Blessed are your eyes because they see. 

Nobody needs to be seen by everyone but everybody needs somebody who sees them. Including you.

You can’t stop being shallow unless you let someone see you. 

God allows you and calls you to be part of His mission even as He sees who you really are. 

Allow someone in your lives to see you. You need someone to know you fully. 

Think about a kid or teenager in your community who you are showing up to make it personal for. Write down their name. 

Who is it that really sees you? Who are you personal with and open fully up to? 

Andy Gullahorn – Teenagers – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ak5mCNEW9pI

Ryan Leak @ryanleak 

We are grateful for resurrection Jesus but the Jesus that perplexes me the most is wearing Jesus. 

John 11:33-35 ESV

Jesus, the man with all the power and all the answers, felt their pain before he tried to heal their pain. He didn’t let knowing how the story would end to change making it personal. 

Sympathy: Seeing someone else’s pain. I feel bad for you.

Empathy: Feeling someone else’s pain. I feel bad with you. 

What used to be an honor to help someone, the longer you help people, it moves from an honor to annoying. It starts to feel like an inconvenience.  We get there by losing our compassion. Here’s 3 ways how to get it back.

1. Prioritize. People over plans. 

People remember what we show up for than what we plan. Be more of a minister than an event planner. 

Inc Magazine asked top executives if they could name their priorities. 2% could. 

We have to beware of spending the majority of our time on things only the minority will even remember. 

There should be somebody that it’s personal. I can’t do it for everybody but I can do it for Fred. I can’t spend 15k on breakfast for everyone but I can for Fred. 

2. Stay in close proximity to people in pain. 

You can tell when a communicator is talking about people from a distance. A distance in time or proximity. 

Whenever it becomes personal, issues get humanized and we give way more grace to other than we would have if we had been distant. It’s easy to take shots at people from a distance. Be slow to take a stand against people we’ve never sat with. 

“When I see pictures of tragedy, don’t let it get old to me.” – Kristi Northup, Christian Artist

3. Have patience with ask holes. 

Ask Hole: “A person who repeatedly asks you for advice and continues to do the exact opposite of what you told them to do.”

At one point we were giving people amazing grace and now we say, “You should know better.” Extend the same grace you gave the first day you met them. God extends this amazing grace to us time and time again. 

Where would we all be if the people along our journey gave up on us when they should have? 

Make up your mind now to not give up on them. 

Ryan stepped down from the executive position because he felt like an in house lawyer who does event planning.

Remember why you do what you do and ask God to show you if you need to make an adjustment. 

 

Reggie Joiner – @reggiejoiner  

What if we just decided that everybody needs somebody who sees them how Jesus sees them? 

The way you see somebody changes more than you could ever imagine it would change. 

It changed the way Zacchaeus saw Zacchaeus. The way you see a kid can change the way he sees himself forever. 

It changed the way the town saw Zacchaeus. You can change the way the church sees kids. 

It changes what we do for them. When we see them the way Jesus sees them it will change how we treat them.

Everybody needs somebody who knows them personally. Show up on the front lines and get to know them personally. What Jesus did that day was He pulled Zacchaeus out of the crowd. There are things you can’t do in the crowd of your ministry. You need to pull them out of the crowd and meet them personally. Jesus had a plan and strategy and was on His way to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover to eventually save the world but He stoped to make it personal.  Don’t get so busy in ministry that you forget to stop and help the person right in front of us. Stop and see if there is a kid in the tree in need of your attention. 

You can’t really be personal with a crowd. You can only be personal with a person. What does it look like to stop?

How personal are you willing to be with people? How much are you willing to challenge the crowd of your church to make it personal? Getting personal is harder. 

The crisis of faith of young people walking away from the faith will not be resolved in a crowd or by a presentation. It will only be resolved when we show up on a personal level. This generation feels ignored and we need to pull them out of the crowd and make it personal. 

Give every kid someone who will know them personally. 

Discipleship requires a consistent experience with a caring leader. 

Zacchaeus climbed the tree not only because he needed someone to believe in but also someone to believe in him. 

Everyone needs somebody to believe they can change. 

“Today, salvation has come to your house.”

Identity Belonging Purpose

Do you know my name? 

The gospel gives us the hope of transformation. 

People get up in the morning with the attitude of nobody can really change or anybody can radically change. You pick every day. 

If there is ever a voice in your head that says you are wasting your time with a kid or teenager remember the story of Zacchaeus. 

Start living the kind of life that will give people hope. Dare people to imagine a different version of themselves. It can actually happen because of the transformation power of Jesus. Give hope to a generation that is discouraged. 

One of the most powerful things you can hand to a generation is the idea of hope. 

Build a social media strategy that’s personal – Dave Adamson @aussiedave

Social media is the most effective and efficient way to make connections inside and outside the walls of our church. 

Online environments are where students are learning about society, sexuality, and spirituality. 

Use social media to enhance relationships. 

Social Media Stats 2019

More than 97% of U.S. teenagers use some form of social media daily. 

85% of students use YouTube every day

67% of teens believe they can learn anything they need to know about life from YouTube. 

Over 3M videos are viewed on YouTube every minute

More than 4 billion photos are liked on Instagram ever day. 

From fixing their car to fixing their marriage. This generation goes to YouTube for the answers to life’s questions. 

Paul used the technology of his day to connect people to God and to each other. Letter writing. 

We need to use social media to connect people with each other, and with God.

In our connected world, being personal is different. 

Connect for the other 167 hours. 

Tip 1: Know People’s Names

We track reach, names, and flowers but not how many people we are following. 

Greet people by name and follow them back and welcome them by name. 

Numbers matter because people count. 

Telephone vs megaphone. 

Start talking with your followers. Let them know we see them. Respond by name. 

“We see you”

What if you responded more than you posted? 

Put people ahead of posts. 

Tip 2: Know what matters to the people in your church. 

People use social media to post about what matters to them. 

Re-post and celebrate with people. 

Comment that we hope you have a fantastic time. Stop just talking about yourself. 

One benefit is the reward of the algorithm. When you post and comment on other people the algorithm rewards you.

When people feel like they are connect to you online they feel like they belong offline. 

Building community is greater than broadcast content. 

Tip 3: Know where the students and adults in community live online. 

If you want to connect with parents use Facebook. If you want to connect with kids use YouTube and TikTok.

Follow your students and comment on their posts, this is like you visiting their house. 

Have boundaries in place. Have multiple people who can comment on posts. Consider initials of who response. 

Tip 4: Know what they have done. 

What are they facing? What are they going through? 

People are more connected than ever before yet experiencing more disconnection than ever before. 46% of people in the U.S. feel alone. Those who feel most alone are GenZ. 

Everyone needs to be known by someone. Listen more than you post. 

What would it look like if you responded more than you posted? 

Tip 5: Know what they can do.

Self promotion vs what’s important to other people and what they have done. 

Church tracking software. What if we leveraged this for a different purpose. Celebrate 50 year wedding anniversary. 

What if you called out: Volunteer of the week. 

“God promotes the lives of those who promote the lives of others.” Brian Houston. And so does Mark Zuckerberg. 

Be high tech and high touch. 

Churches using LinkedIn

YouTube and Instagram or YouTube and TikTok. 

SproutSocial or Buffer 

3 essentials to follow: Need a photo, Don’t use profanity, no pornography. 

Crisis Escalation strategy – With the 3 hurts. 

TikTok. We might not like what we see there (like a skate park back in the day). Be light in the world. 

Leverage social to connect and train leaders. 

Instagram account for volunteers. Film helpful things for the Sunday lesson.  

Notification for a group. Post on Friday. Repost on Saturday. 

End service by saying, “Thank you for being part of our church today. We will see you during the week on social media.”

Sam Collier @samcollier

You can’t talk to old people that way.

Sometimes you just have to get out of the way. 

You’re not allowed to teach your wife anything. 

How do you treat the people in your inner circle? Your job isn’t to teach, it’s to love. What are your blind spots? Something negative you do that impacts other people or you that you don’t see. 

The way you fix your blind spots is to get personal and invite someone in. 

Don’t get so focused on your public image that you miss your personal issues. 

Do you know what matters to me?

Fun leads to trust and trust leads to depth. 

Tell me more…

Don’t dismiss what’s important to the next generation. If it matters to them, it matters. 

The relationship changes when you are interested in what they are interested in. 

Do you know where I live?

Step into their world. 

You can’t show up if you don’t know where they live. 

Know their generational, geological, or cultural context. 

Walk towards the mess. It might require more than we are willing to give and that’s okay. 

“I can’t understand why anyone would…” is a cautionary flag. A confession that you don’t understand another person. 

One of the best things we can do to be more culturally aware is to pause long enough to understand how someone else thinks.

It’s much better to offend someone with your presence rather than with your absence. @GeraldFadayomi 

You can’t out produce culture but culture can’t put relationship you. 

You might not be personal enough…

If your budget more on production than people. 

If there is. I plan to follow up with those who are missing. 

If parents don’t know what you talked with their kids about this week. 

If you don’t know which of your kids parents don’t come to church. 

If parents or volunteers don’t know who they should talk to when they have a problem. 

If adults are standing in the back watching kids. 

If you don’t connect with your volunteers throughout the week. 

If you don’t know how your students and kids need you to pray for them. 

If there’s not a lot of laughter happening in your environments. (Fun communicates you like them) the joy of the Lord is our strength. How strong is your ministry? 

If there’s not an intentional plan to reconnect at every phase. 

If your team didn’t talk about how to make it more personal this week. 

What if we measured success by how personal the ministry is? 

Dan Scott – Design a preteen ministry @danscott77

We were all preteens once. We went through that awkward phase we wish we could forget. 

Put yourself in their shoes and navigate the world through their eyes. 

Why preteens matter: 

We pay attention to the seniors walking away from the church but that decision is made in the preteen years. 

There are 23 million preteens in 2020! Navigate a brand new world that is very different than ours. 

They are navigating a unique transition. Not a straight line of childhood navigation. Our ministries help them transition into and out of the preteen phase. This is the first one they have an active role in how they transition. They are very aware that life is crazy and we help them navigate it. 

Embrace the preschool, engage the elementary, affirm the middle schooler, and mobilize the high schooler. Preteens sometimes are thinking like a scientist and other times are thinking like an engineer. And they have no control over which brain will show up at any given moment. 

The magic age of 11. 

From the start of their birth to about second grade they are thinking a certain way. Around 8-9 years old everything tapers off. They are old enough to do really cool things but not snarky. Then at age 11, they change. They begin to smell, become rude, and don’t want to do anything. The scan of a 11 year old brain is the same as a 3 year old. Cognitive pruning. The brain getting rid of everything it doesn’t need to make room for what it does need for adulthood. Preteens are literally losing their minds. They have had many moments that need brain power so they lose some areas of memory. 

Environment

Does your environment communicate that kids know they are liked? Is this a place for me? 

Make it unique, a space of their own. If you can’t make a room, maybe create a VIP area for just the 4th and 5th graders. The 3rd graders will build anticipation for what’s next and the preteens will feel like they have a place to belong. Will they be in the same environment for 6 years? If nothing changes in their environment, will they think the church is just for the kindergartner?

Make it Uniques

A space of their own. 

An experience of their own.  

If you can’t make a space, at least give them an experience of their own. A camp, a service project, something for them to look forward to. 

When kids get to ___ grade, they get to ___. Worship track, track without vocals, small band, full band. Where do you need to make a compromised for the sake of the kids journey? Use environments to build anticipation for what’s next. 

Get your student pastor to teach in the kids environment to champion what’s coming next. 

Make it Relevant

It’s not bells and whistles, it’s connecting it to the matter at hand. God’s word connects to today. They can’t always and consistently make this connection on their own. If it’s 2019 outside of the church walls, it should look like 2019 inside the church walls. 

How does your room or stage change? 

How does your music and preservice music change? 

Do your kids walk into the environment and feel at home?

Make it Safe

Physical safe – exits and entrances, background checks, etc. 

Emotionally safe. According to the CDC, the leading cause of death 11-15 is suicide.

We need environments that are relatable and relational. Kids need a safe place to be known and to belong. 

Programming:

Curriculum Strategy – your job is to build relationships and not to spend 90% of your time writing. 

What you’re teaching and how your teaching. 

Teach preteens in a way that…

-Builds critical thinking skills. The device in their pocket has more information than the library. Help students discern what to click on. 6 million hits where the top 5 pay google to be the top 5. 

-Develops EQ and empathy. Help students see the world through another persons point of view. Preteens are moving from concrete to abstract thinking. Know what you are saying when you say, “invite Jesus into your heart.” Consider the Bible story of Noah and then they realize this is the time where millions of people died. No longer a happy story of animals but of the death of almost everything. Hopefully, your church can be the safest place where kids can ask a question about faith. You can ask any question you want here. When they ask a hard question, they are testing to see if they can ask you a harder question. 

Format – Average attendance is between 25-40%. If there’s a different person every time they show up with they develop a relationship with someone they trust? We have to be consistent because they are not consistent. Small group and large group are important. Preteens are really bad at discussion questions, sometimes. Help small group leaders to lead with a question that frames what the students are to be thinking about. 

Events – Preteens are very capable, don’t treat them like little kids. Elevate what you allow them to do and how they can be the body of Christ. 

Volunteers: 

Roles to fill – first, small group leaders. Large group communicator is the last one to get because small group can not be done by a video. 

Recruitment – Don’t just get anybody. It needs to be the right person on the right bus. 

Training. Show how kids are learning. 

Cast vision of what’s most important. For kids to have a caring adult that points them to their creator. Cast vision for what you want. 

Parents:

Partner with parents in a way that acknowledges their day-to-day world.

The ideal time for your event isn’t 5:00, but 7 or 8:00 and with food. Know what the real world looks like in the lives of your families. 

Kristen Ivey

If you don’t continue to make it personal to someone you will lose your compassion and you will burn out. You will forget what you do matters. 

What we do is not who we are. Don’t form your identity around sin. 

Shame: The intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. 

Shame might be the greatest tool the enemy has in his arsenal. 

God says you have purpose, shame says you aren’t good enough. 

Do you know what I’ve done? Jesus didn’t go to Zacchaeus house and say he was a good guy. Jesus knew what Zacchaeus had done and went to his house anyway. Jesus broke the shame cycle. When kids believe they are unloveable they try to prove it. 

Shame is a shallow motivator. Love is a powerful motivator. Love heals us from the inside. 

When a kid gets brave enough to share their story, the are rarely sharing the full story but testing the waters. 

Are you a safe enough place for a student to open up and share and still feel loved. 

Can we replace their shame with hope? 

“Love someone in a way that replaces shame with hope.”

Gerald Fadayomi @geraldfadayomi

Do you know what I can do? 

Potential. 

You know what a preschooler can do when you leave the room for 30 seconds. 

You know what a teenager can do when you leave them alone with their girlfriend. 

Jesus knew Peter’s story and his potential. 

He knew he would fail but also become a fisher of men. He speaks to Peter’s potential. 

Jesus get’s in the boat. Getting in the boat means showing up in their world. 

Spending less time trying to get students to show up in our church and more time trying to get volunteers to show up in their world. 

Speak to their need. Jesus gave fish. How about we teach their worth doesn’t come from instagram likes. Show them what it means to be a person who lives out integrity. Maybe they need someone to show them their worth. 

Call them to more. Not just fisherman but fishers of men. Do this for every student and every child. 

Imagine how this would change the world to make it personal? You can’t to this for everyone but you can do this for one. 

Pick a person, and make it personal.

Reggie Joiner @reggiejoiner

Everyone falls short of the glory of God. What would it look like if we recognized the potential in every human? What if we cared about the potential of every kid more than Disney? 

When you stop for one, it always impacts more than one. 

There is a ripple effect. Jesus knew that when He stopped for Zacchaeus it would impact more than one. It would impact Zacchaeus’ family, the people they impact, and the people who are watching those people. 

If you want to teach a generation then do for one. Demonstrate real friendship to one. You can’t just teach a generation how to love, you have to show them how to love.

If you never stop at the tree, you’ll never know what the story could have been. You’ll never know the potential. 

 

5 Reasons Why Orange Conference is for Your Whole Team

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You have probably seen the stats and know there is a generation walking away from the church. Your whole team needs to come together and join in a fresh conversation about what disciple-making looks like in the future of the church! This year’s Orange Conference is the opportunity you need and here are 5 reasons your whole team needs to be there!

BREAKOUTS DESIGNED TO ALIGN YOUR TEAM.

If you are a preschool ministry leader you will find breakouts designed specifically for preschool ministry that teach the same concepts and truths being taught in elementary or high school ministry breakouts. Your team can then come together to discuss one general concept while each team member brings their specialized insight. Instead of walking away from a conference with dozens of competing ideas, your team will walk away with the momentum of moving the same direction. 

LOWER COSTS TO YOUR CHURCH. 

Four separate rental cars, heading four different directions, being parked in four different hotel parking lots is hard on any budget. What if those four people came together and shared the cost? Attending a conference as a team is a great way to squeeze every drop out of your ministry budget. This year, my team is even talking about tailgating lunches to have more time together and save even more money.  

APPLY WHAT YOU LEARN. 

It’s so easy to listen to a podcast, think about how great the ideas are, and do nothing with the information. When your team comes together and you share in the ideas together, it creates a layer of accountability to apply what you learn. As you talk about your sessions together you will also find your retention increases. 

ALIGN LEADERS WITH A COMMON LANGUAGE AND STRATEGY. 

I love the way Amos 3:3 says it, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” When your team comes together to grow and learn you can walk away heading the same direction. Your team will begin to measure success using the same yardstick and you will know when your team is winning. 

If culture is the soul of your organization, the Orange Conference is the soul care your team desires. Sign up now to get the best rate on Orange Conference 2020 and my team will see your team there! 

It’s Personal AND Starting Now Book Reviews and Giveaways

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5 Questions You Should Answer to Give Every Child and Teenager Hope

What if knowing the answers to five simple questions could give a kid hope? Orange has released a new book called “It’s Personal”, for leaders and volunteers, exploring those five questions through the lens of Zacchaeus’ encounter with Jesus.

In a generation where too many kids feel invisible and ignored, you may be the best chance a kid has to really feel known. 

“Jesus never got so busy trying to save everyone that He didn’t stop to help someone.” – Reggie Joiner

Jesus was on the most important mission anyone has ever been called to yet he stopped to talk with a tax collector and shared a meal in his house. This book has helped me to slow down and love people how Jesus loves people. Jump in a hammock, open the book and allow Jesus to convict you on how you might be approaching ministry.

For a FREE sample: https://thnkor.ng/ItsPersonal

To enter to win a copy: https://kingsumo.com/g/3tttyr/its-personal-starting-now-giveaway 

Find it on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2Tl6Scy 

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Starting Now: A 30-Day Guide to Becoming Who You Want to Be in College

College is hard. This book can help. Give the incoming college freshman in your life this guide to help them become WHO they want to be after high school.

In college they’re not kids, but they’re not quite adults, either. They still need guidance and support as they navigate the tricky transition to adulthood. Be on their team!

“Becoming WHO you want to be is something you can make a decision to do every. single. day.” – StartingNow

Even attending a Christian University while knowing my calling was hard. I can’t even imagine trying to figure things out in this day and age. Starting Now is a devotional every college student needs as they step out and begin this new journey!

For a FREE sample: http://bit.ly/2XSfRY7

To enter to win a copy: https://kingsumo.com/g/3tttyr/its-personal-starting-now-giveaway 

Find it on Amazon: https://amzn.to/31vkswK

#ItsPersonal #StartingNow #thinkorange #leadsmall #leadership #kidmin #youthmin

How to Make Your SGL Training Unforgettable

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Your small group leaders are busy. You’re busy. And the job that God calls us to as leaders in the church requires us to be ready and to lead well. 

It can be difficult to know precisely how to give leaders what they are needing. What if there was an affordable option where you could bring every small group leader in your ministry to a night of fun and training? 

Lead Small Night is where your SGL’s can talk leader-to-leader about the practical ways to impact the lives of kids and students at every phase. 

At Lead Small Night, you’ll learn:

  • How to help every kid and teenager feel known
  • How to lead better conversations with kids and teenagers
  • How to implement the Lead Small Principles that help you become a successful small group leader
  • How to do something small in order to make a big impact

Lead Small Night is a two-hour event that takes place across the country prior to the Orange Tour. 

For only $25 per person, you can help small group leaders do small group better. Sign up now! https://orangetour.org/leadsmallnight/ 

It’s Personal Session Notes #OC19

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It’s personal when everyone who shows up cares about the faith of every kid.

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Everything in your church changes when relationships matter. 

Tom Shefchunas @Coachshef 

#tweetablejustnottrue

His church moves on through broken organizations and people.

Book: When Relationships Matter

If small groups become your primary answer, then that ultimate changes everything you do…eventually

Look at your checkbook and calendar. What does that reflect on your goal? Do you do a full message or set small group leaders up to have relationships. 

“At OC19, a MINISTRY PROOF is an exercise to prove a complex strategic statement by using self-evident, obvious, and “amenable” truths stacked together like Legos.”

My ministry has an effect on a kid who is not involved in ministry. 

One of the worse strategies is losing a kid who is in my ministry. 

I need to PERSONALLY pay attention to who is leaving my ministry. 

Some kids have to leave my ministry. (Move, 

Some kids/students/families choose to leave my ministry. 

As a steward of my ministry, I should find out why. 

It’s harder to leave people than a program. 

The more connected a kid/student is to a person (or people) at church the better chance we have to keep them. 

I personally can’t connect deeply enough to all my kids/students and I need people to help me. 

High-quality Christians make high-quality connections. 

The higher quality connections we make the more we can do for kids as and their faith. 

The best way to communicate and nurture the core aspects of our faith is within the context of a strong relationship. (AKA: Discipleship)

My primary goal needs to be to MAKE RELATIONSHIPS MATTER MORE. 

I need to leverage every resource I have to ensure that kids have quality relationships and that those relationships grow. 

I’ve got some things I need to change. 

If small groups become the primary answer, then that ultimately changes everything you do.

When we go “all in” on quality long-term groups – not only will it change everything you do – groups will become your answer to almost everything. 

I need to PERSONALLY pay attention to who is leaving my ministry. 

People leave ministry not people…harness the power of small groups. 

Text “imin” to 404.445.2198

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Do you know my name? 

Crystal Chiang @CrystalcChiang

Knowing someone’s name lets them know that they matter. 

Kids are always in a crowd, they just want to be seen. 

You know what’s it’s like when the barista gets your name right. 

You know what it feels like when a teacher takes the time to learn how to say your name…or when they don’t. 

When you get to know their name, you get the right to know more than their name. 

Who will know their name next? 

After high school, someone needs to know their name. We know what’s next and point them to what’s next. 

If we were honest though, it’s a long way from here to there. It’s a long way from now to what’s next. From high school ministry to college ministry. 

What happens when nobody knows their name? 

There are going to be days where they will wonder if the family of God is still a family for them. 

If stats are true we will lose 7 out of 10 in the transition from here to there. 

You might graduate from this roaster but you can’t graduation from this relationship.

I wonder what would happen if we stopped points towards and started walking with?

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Seen People See People

“There is a skill in learning to be present.” -Reggie Joiner

“No one person can no every person’s name in our ministry…Multiply the impact so every person can be seen.” Kara Powell

“What if we could recruit leaders who see the kids sitting on the back row. To see the kids who are so infrequently seen.” Kristen Ivey

Concept: If you give a popular kid 100% attention, he will feel 10% but if you give the unpopular kid that half that they usually feel it 100%

“The church should be different and not reinforcing the hierarchy.” Kara Powell

“Business is the enemy of spirituality.”

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Hear the voice of those who are not being heard. 

Danielle Strickland @djstrickland 

The desire in God’s heart is for connection.

There’s a divine strategy called ‘personal.’

What will you do with the king of Israel? Kiss the Son. Psalm 2

What am I going to do with the bigness? The magnitude? What am I going to do? I’m going to send a little baby and this personal shift will change everything. 

God has a name, love has a name. This proximity is a divine strategy. 

The desire in God’s heart is for connection.

He is no longer a slave to you, he is your brother. 

Tackle massive issues with the relationship. 

How do you perpetuate slavery if your brothers with the slave? Proximity changes everything. 

Sometimes you need to know their names. 

Moses and Elijah disappear and there is only Jesus.

Jesus goes down off the mountain of transfiguration and he encounters a father with a son in pain. Jesus said to bring the boy to me. If you had faith the size of the mustard seed tells the mountain to move. 

“You want to move something big, do something small.” Danielle Strickland

You want to actually change sexual slavery, why don’t you admit your porn addiction and get some help.

You want to dismantle slavery, be a brother.

If you want to do these massive things, then make it personal. Mustard seed faith, something small to change something big. 

First, you need to know their name, and then they need to know their names. You’re the one to tell them and it can change everything. 

Flowers were meant to bloom. What are the odds that her street name would

“I’m not a very good singer but I’ve never killed anyone before.”

Stop trying to move the mountain start using the mustard seed. That name, that relationship, that proximity will change everything. 

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Helping parents know they measure up

Kara Powell @KPowellFYI

The “Not Enough Monster”

The church tells us that we should be discipling our children, and we agree, but we don’t know how to do that. 

We feel overwhelmed, we don’t know where to start, so we do nothing. 

The not enough monster multiples. We call this shame. 

Guilt is feeling bad about what we do. Shame is about feeling bad about who we are.

This then affects our kids, and they began to not feel enough. Not strong enough, not brave enough, not spiritual enough. 

The rising rates of suicide, anxiety, and depression. Social media and technology show us all the ways we do not measure up. 

Before you would hear about the part you missed after the weekend. Now they see it unfolding in real time on social media without them. 

There is no better place to deflate the Not Enough monster than the church. 

They are enough, you are enough because Jesus makes us enough. Jesus transforms us. 

We are enough because Jesus makes us enough. This is good news. Parents should be flocking to us in the church. They should be hungry for the parent seminars but that’s not your experience. 

How do you reach the other 80%

4 of the ages of phases when parents most need to know they are enough because Jesus is enough: 6, 13, 18, 23 (these are the trapeze ages where they are in the air for the next phase). 

Ages 6: Kindergarten phase. 

New schedule, new school, new social opportunities, new sports. Juggling a lot of balls and feel bad when they drop balls and make mistakes. The church can come alongside them and let them know blowing a scheduled playdate is not a big deal. Even if it was a mistake, Jesus is bigger than our mistakes. 

Age 13

The average parent feels behind their teen when it comes to technology because they are. We can let parents know they are enough. You don’t have to be paranoid but you can be prudent. 

Age 18

As a parent, you see a clock in your mind at all time. Wonder if you’re doing enough to help navigate the new opportunities and new temptations. Wonder if you’ve been enough of a parent since birth to set them up on the best trajectory. Some parents will get smaller and withdraw saying it’s too late now. Other’s get big and try to control. To turn to parent into a project and make a lot of lists. Better laundry skills. Need the church to remind me that I am enough because Jesus makes me enough. 

Age 23

New independence. Vocational, relations and spiritual choices. Parents are proud but some are not so quick to brag. Some drop out of school, get debt, move back home. The relationship they dreamed of is not materializing. They text but don’t hear back. We as the church can come alongside the family and let them know the chapter is choppy but God is not done with the families story yet, you are enough because Jesus makes us enough. 

Youth leaders don’t feel enough. Feel unqualified to offer resources and feel like we are guessing. 

Text “with” to 66866 for free resources for parents. 

Every parent and every person needs from you to remind them you are enough because Jesus makes you enough. 

The really good news is that Jesus is actually more than enough. Kara Powell

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Do you know where I live?

Carlos Whittaker @loswhit

Physically: Absolutely but more than that. 

Do you know where I live…

Physically, culturally, socially, emotionally

Jesus never ministered from a distance. 

We get to come around those we are ministering to, step in their homes, and get more personal with them. The more personal it gets the messier it gets. The more personal we get, the more holy it gets. 

It’s okay that you don’t look like everyone else, just hold my hand and everyone will know you belong. 

When we know where they live, they will open their hands. 

When we know their name, it opens their hearts. But when we know where they live, they will open their hands.

When you get personal, it gets risky. It takes a risk in order to rescue.

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Knowing me means knowing my context

Karl Vaters @KarlVaters 

Book: The Grasshopper Myth

If I took numbers off the table, would I call my church a healthy church? 

We seem like grasshoppers in our own eyes. 

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Influence is about leveraging small things. Influence is the new attendance.

#1 reason churches are growing, “The paster knows my name.” 

They want to be pastored by their pastor. 

Healthy large churches are pushing small groups and ministry teams because that’s where pastoring will get done. 

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Dr. Bernese King

@BerniceKing

How do we as leaders experience the everyday context of other people and develop empathy? -Reggie

Intentionality. You have to be intentional about connecting with people whose stories you don’t know. 

It’s really about following Jesus, for real.

Jesus dared to connect with people when it was prohibited. 

Compassion pushes you to what to do something, but not doing something first without understanding. 

Dare to take risks, even where it becomes uncomfortable. 

We have to look in the mirror and examine our own prejudices and seek to rid ourselves of them.

We need each other. We have to learn how to create a real relationship with brothers and sisters even when we don’t agree with each other.

The next generation isn’t bringing a lot of the biases that we had!

Light belongs where darkness is so there is no more darkness.

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When it’s personal to you

Doug Fields @DougFields ‏

When parenting became personal, it actually became more important to my ministry.

Leadership ultimately becomes powerful when your ministry becomes personal.

In our Christian subculture leaders ultimately becomes powerful when you build your platform, launch a podcast, go multi-site, or draw a crowd. 

Personal doesn’t happen from a distance. 

Jesus and the woman with an issue of blood.

Jesus turns his back on the crowd to care for one. The good shepherd will leave the 99 for the one. It seems outrageous until you’re the one. 

At this moment, Jesus makes eye contact and it becomes personal. The crowd was put on mute and she became the center of attention. 

Jesus called her “Daughter” making her feel like somebody. 

When leadership goes personal it restores confidence. 

The only one who could have thrown a stone didn’t pick one up. 

Ministry is messy. And sometimes the most beautiful and courageous kind of leadership is when we leave the crowd for the one.

What if our greatest ministry is not to more? What if it’s not about numbers. Jesus hung out with 12. What if the greatest leadership asset you have is to stop your world and love someone personally? 

Someone somewhere in your world is always in some type of pain.

Leadership ultimately becomes powerful when your ministry becomes personal.

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What you don’t know can hurt you.

Sam Collier @SamCollier

I haven’t always been self-aware, but at least I’m self-aware about not always having been self-aware.

3 lessons to help me grow and be a better leader.

1. You can’t talk to old people that way.

Has anyone ever gone to a debrief meeting ready to ‘say something?

2. Sometimes you just have to get out of the way. 

Don’t let your ego get in the way of someone else’s potential

3. You’re not allowed to teach your wife anything.

Blindspot: Something negative that you do that impacts other people or you that you don’t see. What are your blind spots? 

Don’t get so focused on your public image that you miss your personal issues.

Next Step:
Write down your blindspots.
Ask two leaders to speak into this. 

Dr. Deborah Tillman @DeborahLTillman

Connection really matters. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Connect before you go in there and try to correct.

God had called me to have a mindset to mend them, heart to love them, spirit to serve them.

Families need encouragement. You’ll never really know what your hug will do. 

People really need to know and feel that they are enough. So many people feel guilty and laced with fear and doubt and shame.

Stop building walls and start building bridges. 

“All of our families have a complexity that the church needs to help you navigate.” Dan Scott 

No more hiding in church.

Clay Scroggins @clayscroggins

Do you look back on a season in your life and think, ‘That’s when God was really using me?

My biggest fear going into ministry was that I would spend all of my time around Christians. 

Make it better. 

Take it personal. 

The longer we are in ministry the longer we drift into making it better and further away from taking it personally. 

How can we get these people to show up in the lives of all the people outside of the building? 

The world gets bigger when you begin to see more of the world. 

You’ll never change the way the community sees the church until you change the way the church sees the community.

What could we do to start understanding the people outside our building?

You take it personally when your connection with someone becomes personal.

The man let down through the roof. They didn’t give up. They didn’t turn down. 

“Turn down for what”

For what would you turn down? What cause? Nothing. Nothing would cause me to turn down. 

Mark 2:5 Jesus was moved not by what they believed but by what they did based on what they believed. 

That’s not our correlate missing. That is MY mission. 

Quick asking for likes and get your church to go and like other people’s posts. It’s not all about praying for the people inside our church it’s about going out and knowing what to pray for in our community. 

“If our goal is to be the hope for the world, we’ve got to stop hiding in our church.”

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Do you know what matters to me?

David Salyers @davidgsalyers

The difference between wisdom and knowledge. It’s not about what you know. This creates a culture of proving yourself. 

Knowledge is what we know, proving. Wisdom creates a culture of improving. 

Second-mile service is giving what people don’t expect.

Now we are more known for our services than our food. 

Our mission: To improve the story of the people we do business with. 

Prove it and Improve it.

Daddy Daughter Date Night. 99cent meals are great. Handwritten notes from your daughter are priceless. 

Do you know what I can do?

Gerald Fadayomi @GeraldFadayomi

This speaks to potential.

Do you know what I can do? I know that you are capable of and it’s so much more.

We love that lightbulb moment in the lives of a student where they realize what they can do because of the potential God placed in them.

Get out of our context and into their world. Show up at their game, in the school, in their Monday through Saturday.

What if we spent less time trying to get teenagers to show up in our church and instead trained small group leaders to show up in their lives.

We often speak into what we think students need and not into what they actually need.

They need positive attention.

What if we spent more time trying to get the student to show up to the church and spent more time getting volunteers to show up in their lives?

So often we speak to what we think students need and not to what they actually need.

Maybe they need someone to understand their identity so they don’t trade a part of themselves for something that won’t last.

Students will do more when they are invited to do more.

What would happen if we stopped doing ministry for students and started doing ministry with students?

Everybody Always

Bob Goff @bobgoff

If you get advice that rhymes, run! In order to give words of advice, you need to know scripture.

God needs people who know Scripture and will be available to people and speak to them in love.

The power of availability
If we’re going to be available we need to know why we are doing it. Why we do what we do.

If you’re leading young people for an applause join the circus.

Satan doesn’t need to destroy, he just needs to distract. You don’t want anything to distract you from Jesus.

You don’t want anything distracting you from Jesus. If this job ever gets between me and Jesus or me and you, I resign.

Don’t make people projects. People are people.

We ought to talk about people behind their back all the time. We just need to be talking about the right stuff.

You want to dazzle Jesus? Go be you.

If you’re messing up, don’t have a bible study, stop.

The world is full of crazy people, and guess what, you’re one of them.

You see a fin in the water…is it a dolphin or a shark?

It’s going to take a courage laden with faith and laden with obedience.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1 NIV

There’s something beautiful that happens when you get personal.

Make it personal with your family.
Bob buried a note to his unborn daughter forgiving her of wrecking the car.

Your inheritance is my friends. I don’t tell them what to do, I tell them who they are.

The thing about marble so special and unique is what makes it the weakest. The thing that makes me unique, can also be my weakest point. We need to bring it back to Jesus.

“Coffee drinks me to wake up.”

The anchor room is as big as the engine room. Let that sink in.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2

Be available to people and let them know why we do what we do.

Give us the guts and the grace to be your people.

#OC19 Breakouts Notes

YOULEAD Notes-3

For resources and slides check out iamnextgen.com

Maximizing My Time as a NextGen Pastor 

Gina McClain @gina_mcclain
http://www.ginamcclain.com

Year one it’s new. Year 2 you built some equity. Year 3 some things you can’t get passed but need to deal with. Something in you needs to change. 

Relational challenge and in year 3 you wonder if you’re cut out for the position. Year 4 looking around because you wonder if something else would fit better? 

Tend to redefine ourselves as leaders every 4 years. 

“Your role as NextGen leader has more to do with WHO you are than WHAT you do. And who you are, has to do with what God is doing.”

#1 Know Your First Team

Peers vs. Direct-reports

Your teams need different things from you. You could be booths on the group, leading ministry directly. 

What are you advocating for in the grand scheme of things? When we know our first team it ensures we align with ministry leaders across the church. This brings unity and breaks silos. Understand where your objectives fit with the overall mission of the church. 

You have the ability and authority to bring peace in situations between silos. 

Action Step: 

Schedule consistent time with your First Team. 

#2 Prioritize Objectives

Working On vs. Working In

Working on it is a lot harder but at your seat, you have to spend time working on your ministry. How much of your time on your calendar is spent working ON your ministry?

Set annual, quarterly, and weekly objectives. 

Set weekly objectives every Monday.

Calendar time for evaluation and realignment – out of the office

Track your progress to see your wins. 

Can I schedule afternoons to work on ministry? Change locations to work ON ministry. Coffee shop. Write down specifics so you don’t give that time away to other things. 

Calling the Play vs. Running the Play

Not just what to do, but how to do it. 

How = action that moves toward objectives. 

How can be collaborative? 

Show them how to do it vs. leverage the influence of your team to figure out how. Connect the problem with the right person to help us resolve it. 

Playbooks: A great tool or resource that gives the How, What, and Why to do a job. How to be a coach playbook. You can’t work on the ministry unless you get out of the ministry weeds. 

Action Step: 

Calendar your objectives every Monday. 

Clean it up. Remove meetings not producing what needs to be produced. 

“Alignment is not created by new vision. But by restarting that which you lead toward over and over again.” Sam Roberts, Life Church Directional Leadership Team. 

Champion those you lead around the nextgen ministry. 

Your job is to be the bass drum

#3 Meet with a Purpose

Vision: alignment & setting source

Tactical: event/project drive or ministry-specific

Coaching: leader development & problem-solving.

Know WHO sets the agenda. 

Plan for what decelerates vs accelerates

Purge or repurpose regularly. 

When Coaching…

Let them know they are setting the agenda. 

Start with the question “What’s on your mind?”

What challenges are you facing?
Where are you winning?
What questions do you have?

If you bring answers to these 3 questions then you will maximize our time together. 

Book: The Coaching Habit by David Henzel

Action Step: 

Review your calendar quarterly & purge/change the unproductive. What meetings do not fit in the categories. 

Everything goes on your calendar. You have one life. It can all be tracked in the same place. This also helps with evaluation. 

1

Structure NextGen Staff to Move Further Faster

Dan Doerksen @DanDoerksen
www.dandoerksen.me/OC19

Churches took their preexisting model of staffing and then called it nextgen. If you do this, you’re just going to be frustrated. Dan restructured and no longer had the traditional roles within his nextgen staff team. 

You don’t have to have a large staff to become innovative in your staffing…you don’t even need to have staff. Hire less on age group and more on their gifting and role. Empower them to do this 90% of their time. 

Gift-based hiring structure. 

You’re here because you have problems to solve. How do you balance the tension and frustration in the nextgen ministry? 

A very expensive nice tool sits in the box if you don’t know how to use it. The structure is this expensive tool. 

If you don’t know what to do with the tool it’s very dangerous to toy with. You need a good deal of wisdom and insight to pull off these staff changes. 

Structure = organizing people (org chart)

The structure is a tool that addresses your most stressful problems; people problems. The structure is personal. 

Every tool has its uses. This tool of structure can address these scenarios: 

You have great people…in the wrong roles.

Your staff coordinates well…but only with their own teams.

You have a highly creative team …but their quality is “meh”

Your team values excellence…but never innovates.

You have a new vision and strategy…but nothing changes. 

Why do you find yourself in a silo? Not silo by nature, but simply doing your job description. This is a structure and culture issue. 

Assumption #1: We need more staff. 

There are so many boxes on the org chart and my name is on all of them. Maybe you do need more staff or maybe it’s a structure issue. 

Book: Mark DeVries. Sustainable Children’s Ministry: From Last-Minute Scrambling to Long-Term Solutions.

1 FTE/50 kids, 1 FTE/75 teens

For every child that shows up, churches spend $1000 per kid per year. Salaries and budget combined. 

Instead of trying to fill all the seats on the bus, maybe you need to rearrange the seats. If your structure is a mess, adding another person will only increase the complexity. 

Assumption #2. We need better staff. 

Is it really a people issue? Maybe it is, but maybe it’s not. Let’s back up and ask, “Is this the person or the structure they are working in?”

Cognitive bias: Inside a situation, you see the factors. Outside looking in, you blame the situation. If your team member is failing, it will be tempting for you on the outside looking in to think it is their failure. We need to own how our staff is performing. We create the context to which they work. We have to look to ourselves first not them. 

Dance floor analogy – DeVries and Safstorm

Dancer rolls her ankle by going through the floor. No one repairs it but simply brings in a backup dancer and keeps going. Maybe your team members aren’t good dancers, but it’s awfully hard to get better when the floor is broken. Fix the floor first and then you’ll know what you’re working with.

Assumption #3. Our church is unique. 

You need to be a big church…small church…new church. The principles of how to structure will scale and transfer. 

Assumption #4. Our church isn’t unique. 

You can earn from others, but you can’t copy and paste. 

Sports analogy: teams don’t structure like different teams because they are playing different games. What is the strategy for your city within your culture? 

All dials and levers need to be adjusted together. When you change your strategy you need to change your structure. 

Assumption #5. We have to staff by age. 

Ex. If you want to reach teens, you hire a youth pastor. 

A “Divisional Structure” GM This is one way to structure your team. It because of the norm but it doesn’t mean it has to be. Maybe you don’t have to staff by age. 

Assumption #6: One person at the top. 

Unity of command; there has to be one person leading. 

It’s not wrong but it is optional.
Jay Galbraith’s Research: “When the challenges a corporation faces are so complex that they require a set of skills too broad to be possessed by any one individual.” Think outside the box. 

Freedom and authority to reach as many folks as possible. 

Core elements of Structure (dials on the tool of structure) 

Job Design: “Who is responsible for what?”

Product based-what is the product the church puts out in programs or services. Program based model. 

Demographic Based or market-based. What are my target market and staff around that market? 

Advantages: you can focus. One person with complete ownership of the process from front to back. The downside, a strong tendency to silos and misalignment. Multiple people doing the planning, marketing, and repletion of work instead of learning from each other. 

Function-Based. What are the same things across the ministry? Create that list and you have the suctions. Teaching, worship, tech, design, recruitment… take that ruction and turn that into a job description for all the miniseries in nextgen. 

Leader development and on-boarding from preschool to college. 

Programming development. Worship, props, teaching. 

Process-Based: step by step processed could be done by staff. Recruitment person, on-boarding person. A person for each of the process steps. Could be a staff member for first-time guests and one for members.

Authority: “Who can make what decision?”

You can give too much or too little authority. 

Don’t handcuff your people so they feel like what they are doing is insignificant. Loads of leadership potential but put into a helper role without authority. 

Span of Control: “How many people do you oversee?”

How wide is the org chart? With 3 people you can do a lot of training and coaching. If you want to grow you need to add layers. How does a person on level 5 talk to a person on level 2? 

A wide structure has less control but more autonomy. The people doing the ministry can make decisions. 

Coordination: “How does everyone communicate?”
How do you tie it all together so silo’s don’t form? 

The structure is all about communication paths. 

Next Steps #1 – Know your current structure. 

Do a task inventory. Do a time inventory. Track hours and know what they do and in how long. Find out what’s working and not working. If you could create your own job description, what would it be? If you could have any job, what would it look like?

Next Steps #2 – Plan for Growth

Stay flexible and figure out what can happen if you grow. How do you widen your span? Don’t get locked into one model. 

Next Steps #3 – Learn how to lead change

If you don’t think the structure is personal, try to change it. If you remove a title, it becomes personal. People don’t like change if they don’t understand it. 

Read: Leading Change Without Losing It – Carey Nieuwhof. 

Read: Leading Change – John Kotter

See the connections behind the connections. Let’s be brave enough and bold enough to look at our structure. 

“Let’s discover the structure for 2025 not maintain the structure of 1985.”

What is the strategy for today’s Church and what structure do we need to meet the needs of today’s world? 

4

Hiring, Onboard,, and Equip NextGen Staff for Success

Nina Schmidgall
@ninaschmidgall

Building the right team is one of the most important things you do in your role as a nextgen leader. 

Get the right people on the bus and get them situated in the right seat. 

Hiring: Finding the right people

“People are not your most important asset. The right people are.” Jim Collins

“The secret to my success is that we have gone to great lengths to hire the best people in the world.” Steve Jobs

Set 

“Define the position” Some folks get this wrong by listing tasks, instead focus on objectives. What’s the best profile and personality type for the position? Would this person thrive under MY leadership? Sometimes you need someone with a high level of maturity to handle the tough issues of ministry. Do you need someone who is trained in childhood development?  Management, Pastoral, or Education experience. You can’t just borrow a job description from someone down the street, assess what you need. 

Seek

Generate a list of potential candidates. Sit in a quiet room and make a list. Maybe the person is already on your team or in a volunteer role. Who would be ideal in this role? Dream about those who you would love to have do the job. Don’t say someone’s “no” for them. You can also post to job boards. Begin to draw on your network and fish for people. Put the word out there and send some direct emails. I’ve heard about you. I’ve dreamed about someone for this team and you might be the best fit. 

Screen

Step 1: Email initial questions 

Send everyone the initial list of questions. Few key questions that would identify candidates. 

What do you know about NCC? Why dod you want to work here?
What aspects of ministry do you find most fulfilling and meaningful?
Why have you chosen ministry to children and their families? 

What is your philosophy of Family Ministry?

What is one of your most memorable experiences where you saw God move in the life of a young person?
Share with us a difficult experience you have encouraged in ministry and how you navigated it. 

How has your experience prepared you for this position? Why do you feel as though you would be a qualified candidate?

What has been your experience in developing volunteer leaders? What about managing staff?

Do you know anyone that currently attends? Would they recommend you for this position and may we be in touch with them?

Step 2: 15-minute screening interview 

This will feel incomplete. Quickly get to know you. 

What types of ministry do you hope to be doing in the next 5-10 years? 

What are you not good at and don’t enjoy doing professionally?

Tell me about someone you currently disciple. 

Tell me the names of your last three bosses and how would they rate your performance on a scale of 1-5. 

Step 3: In-depth Interview. 

They will send covenant and theological questions. They will be walked through in written and interview. 

View of baptism, women in ministry, spiritual gifts, sexuality, how to handle conversations, are there any parts of the statement of faith that made you uncomfortable? 

Step 4: Group/Panel Interview (zoom call)

Staff unity matters in culture and making sure they fit. 

Capacity

Competent

Culture/Chemistry 

Step 5: Reference Check

People get reference checks wrong. To catch red flags so why give someone who would share that? 

Ask: How can we support this person best?

The person mentioned they struggled with _ will you tell me more about that? Open-ended questions

Step 6: Visit

Pastoral level position. 

Onboarding – Direct their Energy

Discovery (days -30) – commit to a listening and learning posture. 

Learn the system. 

Know the history

Develop (days 31-60) – establish a foundation and start building. Beginning to look at team development. 

Design (days 61-90) – start adjusting and implementing. Establish their own rhythm for the team. Identify systems for improvement. Implement and experiment. 

Culture Sharing

Peter Drucker says, “Culture eats strategy for breakfast.”

A healthy culture will keep your staff around a long time. 

A set of shared values and goals that characterize our organization.

What do you want your staff to know and live out? What shapes our ministry? Are we connecting kids with caring adults?

What will you do to keep your team aligned and healthy? 

Shared Values: 

Values help determine who you are about. 

Keep your people aligned

Communicate 

Influence behavior

Inspire action

We have a big God, we take big risks and we expect big results. 

Attitude – we live on the solution side of every issue. 

We exist for the lost and the least of these. 

Culture is a combination of what you expect and what you allow.” Craig Groeschel 

Ongoing Investment

Vision Cast Continually

“Vision focuses on what does not yet exist, but should.” George Barna

Meet Regularly. 

Get the right people in the right room to solve almost every problem. Get on the same page. 

Develop Consistently

Not training alone.

Evaluate, where are they currently. Where do they need to be going? 

Equip. Create a plan of where you want them to go.

Empower. Give them responsibilities so they can grow in that area. Give authority . 

Encourage Prayerfully

Don’t forget to encourage on an ongoing basis and pray for your team. 

 

Build A Comprehensive NextGen Strategy For Families

Nick Blevins
@nickblevins

If we started from scratch, knowing what we know now, what would we do?

Think Orange (Soon-sh)
When Parents Win (Fall)

4 Levels of Parent Involvement

Parents who are are searching for an answer.

Outside your church but open to attending 

Interested in becoming better parents. 

Parents who are participating in church

Entry-level experience with your church taking steps to influence kids spiritually.

Parents who are applying a strategy 

Committed to partnering with the church and being responsible for spiritual leadership at home. 

Parents who are leading in ministry

Fully committed families who are leading at home and leading at church

Searching > Participating > Applying > Leading

It’s good having parents at every point on this spectrum. 

“The goal is not to get parents to do everything, but to engage them to do something more.” Reggie

5-Part Strategy for Parting with Parents

#1 Small Group Leaders

Connect kids and students to WHO

“Someone who chooses to invest in the lives of a few to encourage authentic faith.”

Applying and Leading

Leading SGL’s to show up outside the church

Help SLG’s connect with parents

SGL + Parent Open House event (MVP Box)

Small group leader + Parent breakfast/lunch

Small group leaders are your best partnership with parents. The best strategy in the world isn’t worth as much as an invested SGL. 

#2 Communication

Inform parents HOW

Searching & Participating 

Email (Inform Parents) Consider how many emails and if they have more kids.
Text (Remind Parents) 98% read – 1 or 2 a week and a reminder to lead faith at home.

Instagram (Celebrate Experiences) 5x engagement per post compared to FB.

Facebook (Resource Parents) Do it consistently. 

Website (Help Visitors) How do I know where to go? How do I check my kids in?

Apply & Learn

1-on-1 Conversations

Feedback Loops (Surveys, emailed questions, etc.) 

Facebook Groups

#3 Resources

Equip parents with WHAT

Searching & Participating 

Curriculum Resources 

Parent Cue App
Parent Cue Blog

Parent Cue Podcast

Applying & Leading

Bibles / Bible App

Topical Resources

Parenting Books

Phase

#4 Events

Help parents celebrate WHEN

Searching & Participating 

Transition Events (Preschool > Elementary > Middle School > High School)

Milestone Events – Core (Baby Dedication, Salvation, Baptism, Graduation)

Applying & Leading

Family Events

Milestone Events – Extended (Bible Presentation, Preparing for Adolescence, Identity, Integrity, Adulthood) 

Family Framework

Help people celebrate something

Help move people somewhere 

Help parents replicate and experience 

#5 Community

Connect parents to WHO

Searching & Participating 

Small group for parents

Small group parent gatherings

Coffee talks

New family orientation 

Applying & Leading

Parent Classes

Parent Events

Parent/Child small group experiences – Treasured

Parent Mentoring

Marriage Ministry

Make Your Plan

Searching > Participating > Applying > Leading

Less difficult > More difficult 

Less time > More time

Less money > More money

Less options > More options

Less transactional > More relational

Less general > More individual 

Less anonymity > More accountability 

In short…it becomes more personal 

NickNextGenStrategySlides.044

Important Notes

This will always feel like EXTRA.

Partnering with parents is a MARATHON not a sprint. 

If everything is a priority NOTHING is.

Every church is UNIQUE and will not prioritize the same way. 

A NextGen strategy for families should work with a church-wide DISCIPLESHIP STRATEGY for adults. 

“You teach what you know but you reproduce who you are.” Howard Hendricks

Parents replicate who they are in their kids.

Disciple the parents, disciple the kids

YOUR JOB

Gather a TEAM of people to help

Work together to MAKE your plan

Be FREE from the pressure to do everything

Do what makes sense for YOUR church and YOUR context NOW.

2

38 Quotes from #OC19 Session 1

YOULEAD Notes-2

Jon Acuff @JonAcuff 

“You’re here (Orange) because someone made it personal for you.”

“When it’s personal, people are not an interruption they are the reason we do what do.” 

“When you make it personal, you make a person 3D. The internet makes people 2D. It’s easy to hate an idea, it’s hard to hate an individual.”

“It’s easy to hate an idea, it’s hard to hate an individual.” 

“If your hustle costs you deeply, your hustle is too expensive.” 

“Ask, ‘What do you need?’ Then actually act on it. When you act, they become visible and valuable.” 

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Virginia Ward @vawardwow

“The church should be the best place for a kid to find hope.”

“It’s easy to feel invisible as a teenager, especially when you don’t fit into one of the ‘boxes’.” 

“They valued my personal dreams.”

“We are going to take our cues from Jesus when it comes to making it personal.” 

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Kristen Ivy @Kristen_Ivy

“What if the opposite of personal is being shallow?”

“We can all be a little shallow sometimes.”

“If there’s pain that we can’t recognize in the church then the hope we offer is shallow.”

“If we can’t feel someone pain the healing we offer is shallow.” 

“No one needs to be seen by everybody but everybody needs somebody who sees them.”

“You can’t stop being shallow unless you learn not just to see someone but to be seen.”

“There’s a generation of too many kids and teenagers who are longing to be seen.” 

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Reggie Joiner @reggiejoiner 

“It was clear no one in the crowd saw Zacchaeus the way Jesus did.”

“Everybody needs somebody to see them like Jesus does.”

“Jesus never allowed public opinion change his personal view of people.”

“Maybe Jesus chose to see Zacchaeus in front of everyone that day so Zacchaeus could see himself in a different way.”

“Something remarkable happens when you start seeing people the way Jesus sees them.”

“Don’t get so preoccupied in the busyness of trying to save everyone that you don’t stop to save someone.” 

“Pause long enough to make it personal. You can’t be personal with a crowd, you can only be personal with a person.”

“One of the greatest things that we can do to train leaders and volunteers is to remind each other that everything we do boils down to one-to-one discipleship.”

“Jesus took the time to enter into Zacchaeus’ everyday context.”

“Jesus doesn’t let the crowd determine His love for people.”

“Jesus took the time to understand someone the crowd detested.”

“Jesus believed in Zacchaeus’ potential to be generous. He saw something no one else saw.”

“Jesus had a way of replacing shame with hope.”

“What if we, like Jesus, looked into a generation and helped them believe that their past doesn’t have to identify them.”

“When someone smarter and wiser sees our potential, we start believing in it as well. We all need someone to see us.”

Key questions to lean into a relationship with a kid:
Do you know their name?
Do you know what matters to them?
Do you know where they live?
Do you know what they’ve done?
Do you know what they can do? 

“Like Zacchaeus, WE are short. All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” 

“We are so programmed to see the bad in the world that we fail to see the potential of people created in the image of God.”

“Jesus shows up to say, ‘You are worth redeeming.’”

“If we believe in Jesus…We should be the first ones on the front lines to say to people, ‘Yes, you can change.'” 

“What if Jesus hadn’t stopped? What if someone hadn’t stopped in my life?”

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