Some people will never admit they changed their minds. Every generation needs a new revolution. – Reggie Joiner
Have you ever changed your mind?
If you could go back and visit the 20-year-old version of yourself what would the interview look like? What would you tell them about how you changed your mind? What advice would you give them?
How have you changed your mind? How have you changed your mind back?
Politics? Coffee? Enneagram?
“People who change their mind, in many ways, are my heroes.”
What would it look like if we could just created a climate and a culture where we were all honest about changing our mind in a way that’s healthy.
When someone changes their mind it convinces me they are adaptable, honest, vulnerable, and human.
If you don’t know what to do, ask yourself the question, “Why did you start doing what you did?”
When you remember WHY, you will realize it’s OK to change your mind.
If you’re going to be a leader that’s going to lead through change, you have to be willing to change in order to spotlight and highlight what never changes.
When you change and when you change your mind, it doesn’t mean your soft or indecisive, it means you can learn, dream, grow, forgive, have empathy, be a leader and be trusted to lead change.
Paul was someone who changed in a radical way. Anti-Christian but changed. The radical conversion of Paul points to the reality of Jesus.
Paul would say, “Sometimes it takes a crisis before you can see.”
Paul changed his mind about the Old Testament because of Jesus. Paul changed his mind about BBQ. Paul changed his mind about Peter. Peter was still difficult because Peter had a hard time changing his mind.
Paul changed his mind about the temple, circumcision, Barnabas, races, nations, and women. Paul was someone who changed his mind.
A powerful dichotomy with his story and his life. It’s okay to change your mind. It’s important to change your mind.
Paul changed his mind about people who don’t believe the way he believes. Paul changed his mind about love.
1 Corinthians 13 is such an interesting idea because of Paul. He wrote a letter so that he can say to a church that sometimes you get confused. Sometimes you forget that what you do needs to be connected to a why and I want to give you a crystal clear why.
When you remember WHY, you’ll have a FILTER to evaluate everything you do. Paul’s list was different than their list. So what if you preach the truth, without love it doesn’t matter.
One of the most earth-shattering moments was when Paul said, “If you have FAITH that can move a mountain but you don’t have love, it adds up to nothing.” Paul prioritizes love over faith. A new measurement. That Love Does and Love Wins. His list isn’t about doctrine, worship style, or the church but about love.
Do you want to evaluate your church? Here’s the list. Love It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
The mic drop was “these three things remain; faith, hope, and love. And to put an exclamation mark he clarifies it again by saying the greatest of these is love.
It’s almost as if Paul knew the difference of faith without love and faith with love. How people can use faith without love to justify their actions but when you put love in the mix it keeps everything in check.
When you give kids a faith, it needs to be anchored to love. And hope needs to be tied to love because faith or hope without love doesn’t go anywhere.
Even the great commission with the absence of love doesn’t make as much sense.
“You can’t make the right kind of disciples if you don’t really love your neighbor.”
The why of your mission, the great commission, is the why driven by love.
Most people aren’t looking or a community of faith, they are looking for a community. Then they will listen to what you say about faith but first community.
When you remember WHY, you lead others to reimagine HOW.
Overtime the how begins to shape our identity. Over time it’s easy to allow the how to become more important than the why. How is easy to see and do. How is more measurable. How shapes our identity and then when the how shifts we have an identity crisis.
The truth is, if you wrap your identity around how you do what you do, you set yourself up. Maybe the identity crisis isn’t the church in general. Somewhere in the context of the wrestle there is a theme that affects our identity. The elephant in the room isn’t communion, confession, or baptism, but the how we do things Sunday.
We grew up believing and we still do, that there is something magical about Sunday. One day a week built in to set aside. Sunday has been a very important part of our week. Sunday is one of the best opportunities to experience community. People are designed for each other. They are designed to be in a space together. Today we are re-discovering those spaces and finding some digitally.
Churches should create the best possible experience for families who show up at church on Sunday.
What you do on Sunday is a big deal and all of a sudden when Sunday stopped, it’s no wonder we began to struggle with what that means.
Reggie changed his mind about Sunday. He decided that we needed to engage families at church on Sunday. There was something more important than just engaging the kids and we needed to engage the parents. Then Reggie changed his mind about not only engaging the families who showed up at church but we need to leverage Sunday to engage families who are at home.
To go back to the why we would say we our goal is to help churches to partner with parents to influence the faith and future of a child. What would it look like to think in terms of helping parents win? On Sunday in the church and outside.
“What happens at HOME is MORE IMPORTANT than what happens at CHURCH.”
What happens at home has more influence. Parents have more time and more influence. The average family has about 3000 hours to influence kids. The average church has about 40 hours with kids who show up constantly. Over time it’s easy to drift and forget the power of what happens at home. We begin to think about what happens at home is “as important” then later you think what happens at church is more important than home. You drift.
Can we turn the volume up on how we focus on what happens on Sunday in homes?
Can we think about the families who do show up and be intentional about the families who do not show up. Church will always be a priority for some families, but not for most.
So, what if every family became a priority for your church, especially those who don’t attend.
2 mindsets in our country.
A Sunday at home mindset, they stay home. A Sunday at church mindset, they go to church.
And some people have both. The tension in our culture is this tension. Most people are Sunday at home families. And most churches are programmed to be Sunday at church churches.
After Covid-19, families will go back to church. Not all will go back right away. 72% of Americans say they will not go back to a football game until there is a vaccination. Even in the light of the uncertainty of all this, what happened in this crisis is an amazing wake-up call. This gave us the opportunity to think about everyone who’s not coming to church. It forced us to expand our mindset and innovate back to another idea about the family and the home.
Don’t stop thinking about that when the doors open back up. Let’s keep thinking about the people that don’t come.
“What if there’s a way to expand our Sunday-at-Church mindset to include a Sunday-at-Home mindset? The truth is a lot of people don’t go to church. What does it look like if we decide the why is love and we need to be intuitional about loving those at home. The number is growing in the Sunday at Home mindset.
Stats show a 10% drop in church attendance over the last 50 years, now in the last 10 years another 10% drop. Most of our energy goes to Sunday at church. What would it look like if we gave energy to Sunday at home?
Boomers 76% identify as Christians and 35% have a Sunday at home mindset.
Gen X 69% identify as Christians and 32% have a Sunday at home mindset.
Millennials 49% identify as Christians and 22% have a Sunday at home mindset.
Our tendency is to then try to do church better. But what if we reimagined the how? Look at the big picture.
In every statistic there’s about a 46-44% difference in those who identify as Christians and those who go to church. So what if we re-imagined the church. What if we tried to raise the 49% stat because more people will in turn show up at church. What if we care about people who have a Sunday at home mindset. What does it look like to bridge into the world of those with a Sunday at home mindset.
Millennials: 80% believe in God, 69% believe in Heaven, 67 believe religion is important, 64% pray. We assume sometimes that if they have a Sunday at home mindset then they don’t believe in God or are not faith-friendly, but they are interested in spiritual issues. A huge part of our population care about spiritual issues they just don’t go to church. What if we cared for that group?
Jesus told a parable one day about a shepherd with 100 sheep. If one strays why not leave the 99 for the 1. A powerful message about the value of people. We have about 22% of Millennials with a Sunday at church mindset. We continue to build the church as strong as we can, but what would it look like, in light of what happened in our country, what would it look like for us to leave the 22% to go after the 70%?
We have a generation who have already redefined church in their mind and they are not showing up on Sunday.
What would it look like if in your church you started thinking in terms of the families who don’t come, in creative ways? Not simply to get them to change their mind about Sunday but to help them win at home. What if you measured success by Sunday morning attendance and engaging families who don’t show up on Sunday?
When it comes to budget and vision, if you connect the why to your vision you can get people to invest. There’s a why here that we haven’t even thought about. There are grandparents who would give to that. They have grandkids who have disengaged with the church and would give to something that would help the church re-engage families on their turf in a way that will reengage their faith. They haven’t walked away from God, they haven’t walked away from religion, but they have walked away from attending church.
If this became a vision we presented in a way that made sense people would follow it. People would say, they have a friend who aren’t going to come to church but if you give me a way to do small group with them to engage with around issues of faith, they will follow.
There are families who won’t go to your church but if you invite them into something because you are giving them permission to engage faith at home, they would love the idea of being connected to your faith community in a different way then just showing up on Sunday morning.
The reason we should do this is not the numerical potential but because Paul wrote a letter to the Corinthians. Paul said that love does.
“Do we love the families who don’t come to our churches as much as we love the families who do?”
What would it look like to put action to that? Yes, Sunday needs to be the best opportunity of the week, but this crisis has taught us to not only get ready for those who come on Sunday but to get ready for those who can’t come or won’t come.
The church isn’t going anywhere. This isn’t the first storm the church has faced. This isn’t our last wake up call for why we do what we do.
Somewhere in the context of this all we are trying to do is lean in and ask what would it look like for you to leverage your resources and think in term so this unprecedented time of sending a message to people who don’t know how they connect with you in the church.
This crisis is like Paul on the road to Damascus. Paul pivoted. Paul changed his mind. It clarified his identity. Paul at that moment in time is the leader that God called to change the gentile world.
Have you ever wondered WHY you are leading in this moment?
Have you wondered where you fit in this? Have you wondered why you are leading at this moment? In the middle of something that shakes our identity to our core, you are a leader now. This is an indicator that God wants to do do something unique with you, that you have a voice, and God wants to do something.
Paul pivoted. We can reach a population that has disengaged. We can leverage this as an opportunity to let them know we care about what happens in their home and we want them to win. We can redefine ourselves in a culture that has already redefined us.
Want to watch the opening session? Click here: https://www.facebook.com/watch/live/?v=295568868115843&ref=watch_permalink
Navigating Change Requires Courageous Leaders
Jimmy Mellado and Reggie Joiner
We are all poor and rich, just in different ways.
When visiting churches around the world you see that they may not have money but the churches and families with Jesus in the center have all they need.
The crisis we are all experiencing can be a tool. Something used to help us develop empathy. You have people hurting who have never felt this pain but you also have people around them with constant pain. We need to build empathy to learn and see each other differently.
This pandemic doesn’t discriminate on status or levels of power. It’s hitting the rich and the poor. The pandemic was a leveler. It doesn’t discriminate on finances or power. The community is coming together because everyone is hurting.
Leadership is influence plus courage.
How do you respond in a crisis when you lose productivity and control? Left to ourselves and focusing on ourselves it leads to depression. One of the best antidotes is becoming others-centered. Serving other people. One of the best things you can do for your spatial, emotional, and physical health is serving another person. Leverage your influence and your courage to serve others. Your soul will be built in the process.
New doesn’t happen without leadership and leadership doesn’t happen without courage and influence. Take people to a new place, a better place.
Culture doesn’t define what a church should do. Innovate to the original. What is the original intent God placed on the church? Jesus was the most attractive and magnetic person on the planet. When the church doesn’t resemble Jesus, somethings wrong. Change in the church is about deconstructing the human part to look more like Jesus.
In NFL stadiums lights are turned off. Would we help them fill a symbolic stadium because of Covid-19 and join compassion to sponsor 70,000 kids?
Change Reminds Me Things Can Change
Jonathan Williams
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”
I am just here.
Churches need to get back to their human-ness. Opening up, sharing the pain we’re most scared to share, are the things that can bring people to Christ who are feeling hopeless.
I think the church has an amazing opportunity right now to share its humanness.
Mike Foster, Kara Powell, Kristen Ivy, and Reggie Joiner
How can we as leaders respond to stories like this?
Jon held a story of suffering inside for about 26 years. Because he held this story, he suffered alone. I want to lead in a way people don’t have to suffer silently with their stories regardless of how they look like. We can create safe places for people to be able to open up.
You set the tone and the pace for how safe people feel. Sharing our own not so perfect story opens the door. Go first with your own story.
What do we do when people open up and share their story. 3 responses.
Validate their pain and feelings. Don’t dismiss or control. Don’t just give them a bible verse.
Appreciate and honor that act of bravery.
Refer. We don’t have to have a solution to everybody’s problems. This lie leads you into horrible heart work. You will be over your head so get in the habit of referring and not being the hero with all the answers. Come along the community of healers and helpers. Support in a collective.
How do we show up in this space and help?
We are in a unique time and experience. Old coping mechanisms have been stripped away. You can’t fill your time with more activities and people because the world has changed. Step into suffering.
Kara has been asked a question in the last couple of weeks. Before the quarantine, it was hard to understand young people’s anxiety. Now that we aren’t in the same room it’s even harder to identify anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. How do we get a gage today?
Be a great listening. Give the gift of full presence. This is what Jesus did and this is the mark of true love.
I’m here, you’re not alone, but it is your work to get done.
Opening the door is such a big deal when partnering with parents. Parents can have conversations with their kids. Look kids in the eye and ask how they are doing and let them know there is nothing they can’t tell us.
Tips for building relationships? Sometimes we live in denial about our own kids. We know other families are struggling but not our kids. Ask the hard question and lean in. What is sleep looking like? What is eating look like? What is the tone of conversations? You can’t delegate this role to a pastor.
On a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being very anxious and 1 not being anxious at all. 6 and above you need to bring in support. If they can’t pick their own number say I feel like you are a # and see how they respond. Do something to create specificity and put it into words. Draw what you’re feeling inside.
A daily check-in with your mind, your heart, and your body. How are your thoughts? What are the emotions you are feeling right now? Can you name them and identify them and are you carrying them? In your body are you holding any tension in your body? Your body communicates your mental health but you rarely ask how you are feeling in your body.
There are times we miss it and the signs are hard to read. If your kids are suffering and you had no idea, that is very common. As proactive as you can be there’s not one thing you could do to make everything safe for your kid.
We carry a lot of guilt and shame around these topics and it brings more bad health.
Give them a way to qualify their feelings. How is the weather?
Mental health is not a one-person solution. Community Care. Bring in additional help and resources.
If you’re wrestling right now, invite someone in.
We as leaders need to gather help, use the resources available.
Give hope to a generation. Hope is one of the things that remain and hope is tied to love.
The Gospel is Still Good News
Kristen Ivy
Is the hope that I have to offer really enough.
Ask yourself why 5 times.
Why is the Gospel good news? Why? Why? Why?
We need to be prepared to give an answer but we need to pause to ask the question of why they are asking the question.
The good news to me might not sound like good news to someone else. Pause long enough to know how to respond to people.
Become all things to all people. Paul was suggesting we need to understand people first. It’s hard to give people hope before knowing why they need hope. Understand their perspective.
If you want the good news, to sound like good news, you need to understand WHY it’s good news for everyone.
The Gospel is good news for everyone
(from 5 essential perspectives)
World 1 Separation & Union
Problem: Abandonment
Jesus is the revealer and gives us hope of heaven.
World 2 Conflict & Vindication
Problem: Oppression
Jesus is Messiah/ Liberator
World 3 Emptiness & Fulfillment *Majority
Problem: Insignificance
Jesus is Example/ Model
World 4 Condemnation & Forgiveness
Problem: Sin/Ego
Jesus is Savior/ Redeemer
World 5 Suffering & Endurance
Problem: Meaninglessness
Jesus is Suffering Servant
It matters if you want to give hope…if you want to give an answer to the question someone is asking.
What do you do when someone says, “I don’t feel as guilty as they want me to feel.” How do you share the Gospel with someone who doesn’t see the need for this good news?
Whenever you deliver one kind of worship song, preach one worldview, you are lacking a theology that someone in the room needs.
If you want the good news to sound like good news, we all need variety. What worship songs speak to all 5 perspectives? What messages would preach to all 5 perspectives? There is a richness to the Gospel if we just lean into it completely. Remember why the Good News is the good news for everyone.
The Grace You Give Yourself Changes Everything.
Nona Jones
Outrun the pain of past failure.
Peter, the Rock.
Who do you say I am?
The Messiah the Son of the living God.
Shame – What I did.
Guilt – Who I am.
The Rock is saying who I am.
The Rooster is saying who I will never be.
No matter how deeply you have been broken, you are never beyond the reach of God’s grace.
Your brokenness is not your burden, your brokenness is your ministry.
My grace is sufficient for you. My strength is made perfect in weakness.
The grace you give yourself changes everything.
Step into the second act of your calling. Peter accepted the grace God gave him and his situation.
How to Build Digital Community?
No matter what you think you know, you never know what the future knows. This uncertainty is an opportunity.
Church, you have to pivot.
You have to let go of normal. God is kicking us out of the box of what church is. Jesus put his name on people not on buildings. You innovate to the original. Going back to the starting point of what really matters.
How you can learn and teach yourself? Who can you talk to and listen to?
Don’t be intimidated by tech. It’s built to be user friendly. Investigate and explore.
Dive in. You’re not going to learn with a manual or article. You will learn by doing it.
Don’t relegate technology to the social media team. You will become so reliant on them you won’t be able to function.
The future is bright. God knew this was going to happen. He called you to leadership during this season. You are placed here for such a time as this. Lean into the opportunity it provides. Don’t allow the enemy to make you feel overwhelmed.
Everything Changes But You Can Still Play
Simon Sinek
Organizations face change all the time. The internet changed everything, it put some companies out of business and propelled others. What’s different about this is it’s more sudden than what we are used to.
How are we going to adapt our model to these new times? We have to have these meetings, quickly.
Why did we get into this business in the first place? When we set out on this journey of risk and uncertainty we stepped out knowing it was worth it. What was worth it then is still worth it now.
The learning curve is steep. The standards for quality are much lower now. Think at home wearing a t-shirt and things put together with duct tape. We can fix things as we go. There’s an opportunity if we are willing to change.
Change actually highlights what doesn’t change.
The crisis is a great revealer of people, inner strength, relationships, and the stupidity of how we have been living our lives. We actually think our political views are important but when a tornado goes through a town we don’t care about color, politics, and our religious beliefs we realize we are all in this together.
Crisis gets us out of the weeds. We have become a very selfish society.
If you are leaning into leaders who are on the front lines and saying to them you are in this time for a reason. You have a platform and an opportunity. What should they say and do because the world is watching them.
This is a time of asking for help and vulnerability. Embrace it. You can’t do it all. People aren’t disposable. There’s too much going on and too many balls in the air to juggle. If you want to save jobs and lives literally and figuratively then say to the people you are working with, I can not do this alone and need your help. As a team, we are strong enough to do this together. Embrace the strength of others.
Infinity Game – Play to play not play to win. Why keep moving? Finite games have winners and losers with fixed rules. Infinite games you stay in as long as you can to move the game forward. There’s no such thing as winning in education or your marriage. It’s not about being #1 or beating your competitors. You can not win in a game that has no finish line. When you play to win in a game that doesn’t end you destroy trust and innovation. Play the game with the right mindset. This season is just part of the journey.
This is our first global pandemic but it’s not the first. We will get through this.
Creating a “Love Works” Model
Joel Manby
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
Love works as a leadership principle.
Without culture, we don’t keep the great people. Culture is critical to stay and be engaged.
The level of enthusiasm of your church experience will never rise above that of your employees and volunteers. You have a culture whether you define it or not. Teach the words of love to teach a great culture.
Love is Jesus #1 commandment and the problem to being effective.
Engagement scores go up when you put love in place.
You have a culture whether you define it or not. Most companies have their plaques on the wall for their values but only 10% put practices behind it. Define the words and what they mean.
Do goals. Be goals. Get the top raise.
Do goals are numerical and be goals are the type of leaders you want to be. Measured and reinforced.
If it works, why do we not do it more?
It might come across as soft or hard to measure.
Love Works
Create this culture by defining it, put the surveys out, then talk about it continually. Be brutally honest if someone is failing. Allow everyone to speak it back to you.
Everything Changes But Nothing Changes with Paula Dannielle, Crystal Chiang, Tom Shefchunas
We need to change. How we measure things has to changes. When life changes it helps us look at things differently. What’s under the rug.
Nothing changes quite like a kid changing through the phases.
It’s not okay to take the 5 ways the Gospel is good news for everyone for granted in preschool. Talk about the essentials.
Attendance isn’t a good measure of success. How to measure if a small group is working.
How do you talk about middle school? What’s the reputation? When you want to gain leaders, you have to talk about the ministry differently.
Breakout 1 Re-Evaluating Your Next-Gen Ministry with Lisette Fraser
To be ready for when a crisis hits, plan for the life stage transitions.
Church as we know it is closed, we have time to take steps back and evaluate.
When we reopen how do we make sure we don’t miss the most important things.
Elevate Community
Give every kid a caring leader & a predictable and safe community where they can grow spiritually.
Because it’s hard we lean into the idea that information creates transformation but we know this is a faulty formula. Information plus conversation multiplied by relationship creates transformation.
Anything that was a crack now becomes a chasm. If you were lacking leadership in this area then now the crack is huge.
Reprioritize the importance of community!
Engage Every Parent
Engage parents to have a positive influence in the spiritual development of their own kids.
Sometimes we think we are better at spiritual developing kids than parents are. Don’t slip into this.
Another tension is how to engage with a parent that isn’t physically there. The further the parent is the less we consider them. We need to fight for this priority.
How do you view your role? Are the driver of the faith journey or a passenger in the families car?
Take an honest look at how many parents you are engaging. Really consider how many you are talking to and when. Are you chasing parents? If they are really the most important how are you engaging them and equipping them for success.
Align Leaders
Align leaders to lead with the same end in mind with a common language and a common strategy.
Someone believes they are the red-headed stepchild. They might also think they are the favorite.
Get everyone on the same page moving the same direction. Every leader matters.
As a nextgen leader, we help everyone see the whole picture together and to clear the lane for them to run in the right direction clearly.
It’s easier to allow everyone to run their own direction but it’s not better.
In a world in constant change, what if the world was the place of peace and stable.
Have you identified a strategy and common language?
Do we hold people accountable to it?
Refine the Message
Craft core truths into engaging, relevant and memorable experiences that correlate with the faith formations of each phase.
Every age and phase needs something different. Each message needs to be refined differently.
Think of a child’s life holistically. Before and after usage and stage-wise, we are all carrying the ball the same way.
Influence Service
Create consistent opportunities for kids and teenagers to serve.
Tension of our scope to serve faithfully. Everyone can serve at every age and stage. How do we reflect that we believe young people can serve now. Equip the adult leaders who will serve with them.
Can little kids greet? Can they park cars? How do we equip kids and leaders to receive them to be serving?
Social media now is how to come alongside families. How can we equip parents this week to disciple their kids? What tools can we put in their hands?
We all think differently and approach ministry differently. We need to hear how other people are doing because it’s not that one is better than the other.
Find projects you can build together that benefits everyone. Help everyone see that we all have the same kids and are walking them all down the same path.
We have been hired to champion the phases. Share stories. Nothing changes minds or helps people understand more than a story. Generate and tell great stories.
First, define reality and know what is there to work with. Next, evaluate how you are doing. See where your gauges are and define direction.
Leverage tools because people are more important than the grind of ministry. Trust volunteers to lead in significant roles.
To mobilize kids and students you need to know who you are partnering them with. Help the whole church care about the legacy of the church. We know serving is a significant role. Everyone is searching for identity, belonging, and purpose and serving makes this possible. Help the church and the adults see how them training kids and coming alongside kids to be serving. Remind them of what this was like for them when they first started. Can they do the same for the young person? Maybe they didn’t have a chance as a young person and now they can give a young person a chance.
Thoughts on digital and physical moving forward?
There are places where we can be more effective online compared to in person. People might not show up in person but online. Is there a hybrid available where you can do something online and in person. Decentralizing some things. Help people lead in their communities and in their homes. Small groups only for a season, how do we really empower leaders to be doing ministry as opposed to gathering.
Breakout 2 Relaunching Your Church By Making Families Stronger with Geoff Surratt
What can be more effective in family ministry?
If you had a lot of kids and a lot of events and no one was arrested then you felt successful. If you sent kids to camp and people were saved every year then you felt successful. In kids ministry if you kept the kids entertained while their parents when to church then you felt successful. Everything changes when you realize the goal is to partner with parents.
Partner with Parents
Parents are more present at home.
Families are more connected to the church.
The big question was HOW?
The picture of a child with their parent praying with a small group leader over zoom. This is the picture of family minstry.
Four Revolutionary Opportunities for Families
1 Environments for families to Worship Together
Create experiences where families and kids can come together. Families going to church together in a tent is a memorable experience. How do we carry this idea and experience forward?
2 Creative ways for families to Play Together
Game nights or kids and their parents.
3 Resources for Families to Grow Together
Parent resource website – one easy to find spot.
Online small groups for every age, even preschool. 15 minutes of crazy.
4 Opportunities for families to Serve Together
A family parade to the assisted living communities. Create moments for families to serve together. Birthday drive-by parades.
We have to make it
Easy
Fun
Meaningful
Groups of 50 or 100:
What can ministry look like with these groups? What does online continue to look like?
Not just a bandage but new thinking and opportunity. What if it continues like this for the rest of the year or for years?
Let’s not panic and post something everywhere, let’s take a breathe and realize it’s a marathon. Help them engage again.
What if we celebrate when families are not at church but pastoring their teams or being out doing ministry?
Breakout 3 How to Make Small Groups Win for Kids with Keedren & Keturah Boston
People need two things.
A person and a place.
A gym can still make kids feel like it’s their own place.
Lead Small – You can have a big impact in kids when you invest in kids.
Small groups give kids someone.
Someone who cares.
A small group leader.
Small groups give kids somewhere. A safe environment and atmosphere to belong.
How are you allocating your resources?
Act like you believe it.
Improve your structure to make relationships matter.
Structure is important because kids need order. Be organized to be organic. Small groups need to actually be small groups.
Empower leaders who make relationships matter.
Create experiences where make relationships matter.
How does your calendar year impact small groups? When do you promote? At the end of the kindergarten year do you say goodbye or do you say hello? What are you communicating to kids and families? How do you help your few go to the next level?
Professionals are not always those with the titles and degrees but the team you are leading. Give them the opportunity and show them the expectations. Do you have consistent leaders who are committed and showing up weekly?
There’s nothing worse then a leader who doesn’t feel needed or know what is expected of them.
Your best leaders recruit the best leaders. This is a process not an event.
Spoil your leaders. Love them.
Create experiences where relationships matter. Circle Time. Give a talking piece.
Have compassion and show compassion.
Zoom and google hangout are a great resource for your families and kids.
Communicate these to families and let the know what’s available.
Allow leaders to speak into the vision and know they have a safe place to voice insights into the ministry.
Consider doing training now.
Record session if people miss things.
Every Sunday is someones first Sunday.
Let everyone in the small group speak. Make sure everyone is comfortable sharing.
Go directly into circles with the talking piece so they are ready to start sharing and talking. Give them something physically to hold and talk. After circle time they break into even smaller groups.
Breakout 4 – Responding To Kids With Anxiety And Depression with Dave Thomas & Sissy Goff
Anxiety and Depression Statistics
‣ Anxiety is now considered a childhood epidemic in America, affecting 1 in 4 kids. Girls twice as likely.
‣ 10-15% of children and teenagers are depressed at any given time.
‣ Teenagers are 5-8x more likely to fit the criteria for anxiety or major depression than half a century ago.
‣ In a survey of students in grades 9-12, 16% of students reported seriously considering suicide, 13% reported creating a plan, and 8% reported trying to take their own life in the 12 months preceding the survey.
Look for:
A loss of interest in things they used to love. If they withdraw from friends. A lot of tears. An emotional withdrawal. In childhood, it’s recognized pretty easy but in students, it just sounds like adolescences. With teens watch for this to manifest with their peers. Normally kids might feel that way at home and they lift with their friends.
With anxiety, it’s like the one loop roller coaster at the fair. When they keep coming back over and over again and they can’t kick it.
Endless questions. When they keep asking the same issues.
Watch for exploding and imploding. Anger is a secondary emotion. When kids meltdown with a schedule change. With no predictability or lead time they explode. Implodes become perfectionistic. Stomach aches before school.
Anxiety is also a parenting epidemic. 8 years old is often the onset. Parents might also bring anxiety to their kids.
Parents escape and avoid it. They might pull them out of situations instead of helping them work through the scary things.
Anxiety is an overestimation of the problem and an underestimation of themselves.
Help – For the body, brain, and heart.
When we are calm we have blood flow in our brains and in the front of our brains to think rationally and manage our emotions. When we are emotionally charged the blood flow moves to the back of the brain and fight or flight kicks in. Help blood flow move back to the front. Start with slow relaxation breathing. Square breathing or combat breathing.
Grounding Techniques. Move the brain back to the present and not the past. Often teach kids to work with their scenes. 54321. 5 things see hear smell taste. Count backward from 7. Something to reset the brain.
Then help them with their hearts. Make sure they have an emotional vocabulary. Get a feelings chart. Faces with expressions and words under. Develop an emotional vocabulary because kids are switching words around. They don’t say “sad” anymore they say depressed. Before they said they would run away but today they say they will kill themselves.
Kids use words but don’t really know what they mean. Help them accurately express their feelings.
Help kids do the scary thing. Gradually like steps on a ladder.
Help kids practice. Practice makes progress.
God has not given you a Spirit of fear. This resets their brain and hides God’s word in their hearts.
Hope
Kids feel the bravest when someone who loves them reminds them of the truth of who they are.
“In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
There has never been this space and time when they talk about emotions so much but their faith is not impacting their emotions. We need a net of faith to catch us when we fall. There is trouble but take heart because Jesus has overcome the world. Call out bravery you see in kids.
Remind kids of the reality of who God called them to be. They are not alone, God is with them and redeeming them. Remind them of this truth.
Kids often go 2 years before they get help.
Come to parents in a collaborative way. I wonder if we are seeing the same things. The “of course” principle. Of course, you know we are in it to help you. Of course, you know it would be damaging to talk negatively about your ex in front of your kids.
Parents who are type-a had anxiety when they were growing up but didn’t talk about it growing up. We want to help find ways to support you and your child at this time.
Watch your own anxiety in front of your kids because they absorb it. Managing your own anxiety will help your kids with theirs.
Everything Changes but Change Doesn’t Affect Everybody the Same.
Monec Johnson, Meaghan Wall, Diane Kim
Build a bridge to families throughout our communities.
Every family should have a family app. You can customize the parent cue app for your families.
There’s a gap of about 70,000 kids who need sponsored through compassion. Visit compassion.com/teamup-orange to donate.
When everything changes, things change in a different way for different people.
Our perception changes constantly. The church is so tightly sealed in a box that sometimes special needs kids don’t fit in. Make sure every single person can experience the love of God.
There may be some homes where parents are activity seeking a partnership. Where they need help with their child with special needs.
Get the resource on OrangeLeaders.com/resources called Every Family
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You can experience a love that liberates from fear. Danielle Strickland
No one can stop an idea whose time has come –Winnie Mandela
Components of revolutions:
1) An incredible idea at the right time.
2) A catalytic leader with a community of support.
3) Some sort of mechanism to communicate the original message.
The revolution Jesus introduced was inside out. An eternal revolution.
Love is a revolution.
Jesus’ revolution started with an idea, the most radical and revolutionary idea ever. The idea that God is love and we are loved by God.
God is love. And you are loved by God. These are the two ideas at the core of the revolution of God.
The fullness of time. Or at just the right time. The idea that God is love came to earth.
Love is an inside out revolution that awakens us to see what could be.
Love invites us to know the truth, to get at the truth. Not just about God, but about us.
Love woke me up.
Love awakens us to what could be and what should be.
Love empowers us to be the revolution that the world desperately needs.
Love the ultimate revolution. We hold up not a national flag, but a Kingdom flag.
Reggie Joiner, Bernice King, Jennifer Barnes, Sam Collier
Prayer, “God will you give me friends of color.”
It starts with a desire. If you have a desire you will seek it out. That seeking will lead you to people who are different than you. If you are closed minded, it just doesn’t happen.
Be a seeker of people who are different than you.
Be on an open minded journey.
Treat people with dignity and respect.
Be a bridge, not just racially but generationally.
Jesus always talked about us being one. One above all else. It can be difficult to press pause long enough on your pain to connect. If we’re going to see the kingdom rise like never before, we’re going to have to do that Jesus work to pause and connect.
The issue of privilege is a serious issue in our world.
We don’t want to punt the problem to the next generation. We need to dig in and be courageous going forward.
What is it about the word “privilege” that puts people on the defensive.
Give yourself permission to be vulnerable in relationships.
We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.
We need to change our approach for a generation that’s changed their minds.
Paul said I have become all things to all people.
We need to change our approach for a generation that’s changed their mind.
The Next Generation Still Needs a Dynamic Faith – Andy Stanley
Learn everything we can so we will be better the next time around. Create an icon, something as a physical reminder to take the lesson forward.
How to invite the next generation into a dynamic faith. “Invite” being the dynamic word.
What does it mean to have a great church? Be lead by people who love Jesus, love like Jesus, and have a plan to help the next generation love Jesus.
Churches that have a plan for the next generation, generally do better as a church. Churches invested in the next generation have more resources.
If you’re going to be a church that is about the next generation, organize your church towards the next generation as far as staffing and budget. No matter what’s on the wall. Organizations are dumb things, they do what they are organized and structured to do. Organize to this idea of the next generation.
All information and misinformation is at their fingertips 24/7. This sets this generation apart form all other generations. In terms of how we talk about the Bible, we have not embraced this reality.
Not only do they know what’s in the Bible, because you are teaching them, but they can find out what else is in the Bible. All the parts we have skipped or don’t want them to ask us about.
This generation is on a meaning and security quest, not a truth quest. We can leverage this for a dynamic faith. This is important in our approach to the invitation.
Inclusion, diversity, and sustainability are moral issues for this generation. Not political issues but right and wrong moral issues.
With one silly statement or wrong humor you can undermine your credibility with this generation. This is true in their minds but not consistent in their worldview.
Love is their ethic but it is loosely and conveniently defined. It’s very situational and conversational. They come to the defense of those who are mistreated but will break up with their girlfriend over text.
In light of that…
1. Frame the invitation around following Jesus. Rather than an invitation to pray or become a noun of a Christian. A dynamic faith. The word Christian isn’t dynamic anymore but simply a label. Ask, “Are you following Jesus?” Jesus follower reflects the first century calling of a Christian. Someone who is acting or being like Christ. Is it just what you believe or what you do and behave? Lordship. Have you acknowledged God as the Lord you will follow? Be a doer and not just a believer. Doing is what makes all the difference. Do you hear Jesus and put His words into practice? Are your students building their house on sand?
2. Establish the Gospels as the text that informs their faith. Not the entire Bible. Inviting into a dynamic faith. Draw their attention to the text of the Gospels. The Old Testament got Jesus here but the New Testament shows us who He is.
Hebrews 10:1, “The law is only a shadow of the good things that are coming—not the realities themselves.”
The OT looked ahead but now that the reality is here, that should be our focus. We are inviting students to follow Jesus.
All authority in heaven and earth has ben given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28:19.
The starting point of inviting the next generation to a dynamic faith is to invite them to follow Jesus. The Christian faith did not begin with Genesis. The Christian faith began with Jesus. All authority rests with Jesus. The Bible doesn’t create Christianity, Jesus did.
In the pre-internet world, this concept didn’t matter as much but today the next generation has access to everything in the Bible without ever touching a Bible. So, inviting this generation to a faith based on the authority of the entirety of the Bible is a non-starter because they can discover within 20-30 minutes all the parts that do not support the Christian faith. They are going to ask good questions. Better questions then you ask. They are far less incline to develop a presuppositional faith.
Our faith can withstand the onslaught of the critics, if we build our faith on the right foundation, the Gospels, Jesus.
3. Anchor their orthopraxy to Jesus’s new covenant command. Orthopraxy is right practice or behavior. What they do with their bodies and their money.
Jesus taught in John 13:34-35, “ A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
Jesus creates the guardrails for this love. Specifically defined. Where we should start in what it looks like to follow Jesus. We don’t get to make this up, we are told exactly what love looks like. To love like Jesus.
In the Gospels we see this brand of love illustrated through Jesus. In the letters of Paul we see this love applied. Forgive as you have forgiven. Submit to one another. All pointing to Jesus example.
If the invitation is to be dynamic faith, begin with the invitation to follow Jesus, anchor them with the Gospels, and the beginning of application to follow Jesus is the command to love one another.
By this the world will see you are my follower, if you love. Following Jesus is about a life you live. At the center is love. This love is laying down your life for a friend. Putting others first. Forgiving because you have been forgiven. Accepting because you have been accepted by God.
The dynamic of faith is not what we believe but what we do. Following Jesus is dynamic. This makes faith real and practical.
What does love require of me?
You can do this. You must do this.
What’s more important than the faith of the next generation? Nothing.
Build a bridge to families inside and outside of your church.
Phase Project with Kristen Ivey
What are the basic and core things you need to know at every phase. Every parent knows their child better than any other person on the planet. The guide is designed to help the parent fill the information in with what they know.
What You Do This Week Still Matters with Doug Fields
Philippians 1:1 “This letter is from Paul and Timothy, slaves of Christ Jesus. I am writing to all of God’s holy people in Philippi who belong to Christ Jesus, including the church leaders[a] and deacons. May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.”
What still matters is being…In Contact.
Phone calls worked then and they work now. Recording and sending short videos. Do your kids and leaders know you want to be with them.
Philippians 1:3-4, “Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy”
What still matters is being…In Prayer
Are you praying for the flock God has entrusted to your care. Do they actually know about it?
Type in prayer request and follow up.
Philippians 1:6, “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”
What still matters is being…Spiritually Encouraging.
This means painting a picture of hope. Church is a safe place for them to return when they do fail. Jesus painted this picture with Simon. What picture are you painting for those entrusted to your care?
Not as sexy as zoom calls and digital baptism but what the church did and what is on display. Some things just don’t need to change.
How the church response will change the next generation with Kara Powell
Pastor Fails
90% of questions how we can do church online. 10% about howe we could be church all week. Is this how we should function? Whether we can meet in person or digital.
How did Jesus spend His time? Certainly not 90% inside the church and in church worship.
When it comes to our time and engird the revolution focuses less on our worship services and more on our service of others.
Your churches resources and other’s needs. The beauty happens when these two interact and overlap. What resources do you have that can be leveraged to meet needs.
Now, consider the resources of young peoples time. Can you help meet the needs of schools in the neighborhoods? Traditions have been crushed. Over the summer, serve locally and offer replacement events. How are you using the resources of young people’s times. Mailing origami. Thinking of you and would love to connect. Help meet needs of your neighborhood. Creating flyers and distributed door to door. Are you struggling, call our church.
Use young people’s time to serve the marginalized. Senior adults. Senior to senior service. Left with two pots of flowers, one left for the student and one for the senior to give to another senior citizen.
Visit FullerYouthInstitute.org/orange to maximize your ministry during this pandemic.
Young people don’t want to go to a meeting they want to be part of a movement.
Young people leave the church to find the church.
Don’t snap back to normal, harness this time for a new deeper revolution.
A kid will get over what I teach then, but they will never get over what God does through them.” -Reggie Joiner
How to Start a Kindness Revolution with Brad Montague
We all still need to be good neighbors.
Six words from Fred. “You were a child once, too.”
Be who you needed when you were younger.
Don’t edit someone’s work. Elevate it.
Breakout 5 Developing Other Leaders with Doug Fields
What makes you a good leader who helps people? That’s just what you do when you care for people. Why are we not very good at it? Many church leaders are busy, scared, and insecure.
Self-preservation leader: busy, scared, and insecure.
Few church leaders are intentional with developing other leaders.
Leaders have to decide if they want to leave a legacy of one or a legacy of many.
Give up your pride.
Not easy because in ministry we rarely get credit for the work we do. Become a spotlight leader. Insecure leaders don’t bring out the best in others.
Give up your perfectionism.
We know the cliche if we want the job done do it yourself. This is not a beatitude from the sermon on the mount. They might not do it as good as you…right away, but you are developing them.
Give them your genuine belief
I don’t think you can encourage people too much. People are dying for encouragement. People need more encouragement than training. Make a list of your leaders. Pray over them. Ask, what do you see in these leaders that maybe they don’t see.
You don’t delegate tasks, you dump them
Give them meaningful relationships.
Give them real responsibilities
A responsibility is significant when both the rewards and the risks are real.
Give them meaningful relationships
Invite them into your life.
Not to use them but to know them. If you are burning through leaders and have poor retention then you are using people.
Give them accountability.
If you expect something, you need to inspect it. If you hire someone, don’t turn your back on them. Develop them and bring out the best in them. Make them into great leaders.
3 times a year, Doug goes through leaders and gives every volunteer an a, b, or c.
A’s need encouragement. Maybe get the pastor or a leader to write them a letter.
B’s need intentional coaching and hand holding.
C’s are how you get them into another ministry in the church.
Give them freedom.
The best idea wins. You don’t always have to win. Let them lead in a way that is different than you.
Give.
Breakout 6 Increasing Your Influence and Effectiveness in Kids Ministry with Kellen Moore
Talk about it.
‣ Talk openly about what is going well and poorly in your world.
‣ Cheer for each other when you’re talking about each other.
‣ Share stories of students that grew up in your kids ministry.
Develop a curiosity about the youth ministry.
Collaborate
‣ on transitions.
‣ on the budget.
‣ on space.
‣ on volunteers.
Create a common language for families
‣ Small groups vs. disciple groups vs. life groups
‣Teaching calendar vs. scope and cycle
‣ Drop-off vs. check-in
‣ Baptism vs. big splash
Breakout 7 Create Something for Kids that Parents Love with Angela Santomero
Vision: All media must have a vision to make the world a better place for kids
Mission: My Mission for all the media work I do is to empower, challenge and build the self- esteem of kids, while making them laugh!
Healthy Green Media Smoothie
‣ Equal parts: ‣ Educate ‣ Interact
‣ Engage
‣ Helps to create and identify high quality media
Universal Truths of Kids
Needed to create and identify high quality media:
‣ Play
‣ Pause
‣ Repeat
‣ Model
‣ Help
Kindness is at the Foundation of everything we do.
Breakout 8 Things Every Ministry Leaders Should Know About Foster Care with Josh Shipp
Foster kids will test you.
Like the lab bar on a roller coaster.
Kids will test you to see if you’ll hold
Foster kids will act out.
What kids don’t talk out…they act out
The very first adult.
It’s not about you.
It’s about someone prior to you.
When they act out…you lean in. Double down.
“You are awesome…but this was not. Here’s what’s going to happen.” Give foster kids certainty. I will have to do this.
Foster kids often feel ashamed.
690,000 kid in the foster care system.
“I used to be one of the but I felt alone.”
Lies: Alone, Broken, Unlovable.
Goal: Identify a peer “lighthouse” a navigational aid and warn of danger.
Widen the circle.
The Power of One Caring Adult TED Talk -for teens.
Lead them with Vulnerability
Lead with vulnerability
Start where they are
Voice their skepticism
Lead to where they should be.
Your imperfections make you human
Your humanity makes you influential.
Foster Kids Need a Coach
Don’t lecture then – coach them.
Pre-Game: Rehearse
What potential challenges do they need to be prepared to face?
Post-Game: Review
What did we learn?
During-Game: Release
Can they succeed without me?
Foster Parents Need Support
Practical Support
3 hours or 3 meals
Encouragement and Consequences
Auto-Schedule encouragement
Pre-define rules and consequences.
Every kid is one caring adult away rom being a success story.
Promote Counseling
Both parents and kids
Destigmitize
Healthy Expectation
Easy Out
If Possible: Remove $$$ hurdle
Counseling is for the breathing.
To get resources, text the word JOSH to 66866
Book: No Matter What – A foster care tale by Josh Shipp
Final Words with Reggie Joiner
Creativity thrives in crisis.
People Need:
To stay connected
To be encouraged now
To win this week
To imagine what’s next
What does it take for us to stack hands on a bigger vision to reach the world in the middle of a crisis to remind them that these three things remain: faith, hope and love?
We all need each other.
Tomorrow start thinking in terms of how do we start talking about this.
Capture the imagination that is watching.
Keep changing your mind for the sake of what never changes.
I hope to see you at the Orange Conference in 2021! Get the best price now at http://theorangeconference.com
