Give Every Kid a Consistent Leader Breakout Notes from Frank Bealer

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Frank Bealer: Give Every Kid A Consistent Leader

@fbealer

If we are going to give every student a consistent leader it takes structure.

Structure: How you arrange or manage various parts so they can support something important.

If we say giving a kid a consistent leader is what we do, is that how we are built? The way we operate in ministry. Your programming can cause students to not come back to your ministry. Your programming does not keep them, they come back because of relationship. We evaluate the large group experiences but if we aren’t careful we spend so much time on programming and forget to see if we actually have leaders showing up consistently for every kid.

We can do big epic events but if they don’t connect kids to a consistent leader, does it really matter? Does it really change a life? Camp can leverage the time of weeks and months worth of small group or you can miss it.

The quality of your relationships is linked to the quality of your structure.

Reinforce and redirect the relationships.

Habit 1 – Organize to Be Organic

Someone has to own it. We say we are about small groups but is it in anyone’s job description? What if we said small groups were so important we took some of our best leaders and said that small group was what we wanted them to focus on? Making coaches of small group leaders. How many of us need more volunteers? 2700 kidmin volunteers at Elevation when Frank left and they still needed more. Inconvenient to pull the best small group leaders out to become coaches but better for the overall growth process. Kids need a lot of structure but as they get older it begins to shift and the roles change. Everyone needs a good seat. Evaluate if you are giving kids a consistent leader with the ratio.

Needs / Haves Document: Needs. How many do you need to keep a good healthy ratio? How many do you actually have? Not how many do you make it work with but actually have. 8-10 and maybe 12 with inconsistency. We cheat the number and try to make it work. Hold ourselves accountable to know how we are doing really. When it grows beyond the capacity some of the kids get squeezed out.

Find ways to pull in the new kids. How do we recognize who is new?

Habit 2: Think Steps Not Programs

We are moving kids closer to small groups, away from small groups, or they are not moving anywhere. Sometimes you have to stop doing something that works if you want something more important to work better.

When students have the opportunity for a shared experience with the small group leader it begins the relationship.

Parents dropping the kids off at the small group leaders house opens the door for a relationship. Stories often don’t make it back to parents. Small group leaders can share these stories with parents that they wouldn’t have heard otherwise. How was camp? Good. What did you do? Stuff.

Don’t teach everything in the large group environment, create the tension and hand it off to the small group leaders to do something with it.

When you things steps, not programs…Events solidify small groups. 
When you things steps, not programs…Volunteers reinforce small groups. 
When you things steps, not programs…Resources support small groups. 

Challenge the kids to know their leader. Do you know your small group leader’s name? Structure small group for relationships.

Habit 3: Move to the rhythm: The more people in a kids life who are moving to the same rhythm, the greater the impact. What are the students wrestling with in this season? On a holiday, maybe give the leaders a break or do something to leverage those times and seasons. The calendar has a rhythm. The community has a rhythm. Your ministry has a rhythm.

Students need someone else, in addition to their dad, to help them navigate the world. They need someone in their corner to point them in the right direction who is keeping them in check. Parents need someone to come alongside their child consistently to be for their kids.

When parents see you are fighting for the relationship, it changes things in their family. Find mentors and leaders. It’s easier to find one person to lead from the stage than an army of people who will disciple the students.

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Orange Tour Session Notes with Latasha Morrison and Reggie Joiner

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Tasha Morrison – We Build a Bridge

@LatashaMorrison

Most of our society and churches are racially segregated. If the church won’t be the answer, who will be the answer? If we don’t address it, who will? We say that Jesus is the answer. Kids need discipleship and part of that discipleship is racial reconciliation.

“My journey took me to a Garth Brooks concert. I never want to do that again.”

When you step out of your comfort zone it’s a little awkward and messy.

80% of what kids learn is from their parents. 20% is from outside sources such as your church leaders. Where our friendships begin, and when we have proximity in relationships, that’s where assumptions and stereotypes die. Maybe as a youth leader, you can address what the pastor might not be able to address.

Look at your social media. How can I be better? How am I learning from people who are different than me? How can I begin to live outside of my racially segregated box?

The way you start, what to think about, is beginning with the first step. Invite someone new to the table. Find someone culturally different than you. Do something you have never done before. When you come to the table together you can learn about my story, perspective, and experiences. God created us differently. This is about unity and oneness, not sameness.

Diversity makes us richly blessed.

BeABridgeBuilder.com

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Reggie Joiner – We Do Something We Don’t Have To Do

Party- Any effort to CELEBRATE, SERVE, or ENJOY each other in ways that adds value to life.

If starting over with a group of 9th graders the first thing Reggie would do would be to start enlisting kids to do something and to serve. Collecting the names of 9th and 10th graders who are leading. Invite them to a big party. I want to invite you to be the student leadership team in this town. You represent 20 different churches in different schools. I believe if this town is going to change it will begin with you. The day before mother’s day. Gave buckets of roses. Sending them out to make a difference. Serving changes the way that someone else sees you. When you do something you don’t have to do, it takes your faith to another place. The dilemma, student leadership team meeting 4th Sunday of every month but what am I going to tell them?

Here are the 7 things I want you to have and start with.

Do something you don’t have to do. Attached to something you see at a party. Food

Invite someone new to the table. Chair. New, not someone you don’t know but someone who is not like you. We Dine Together. Invited to the same table, and transformed the school by spending time with people who are new. We are called to be in the world but not of the world but many of us forget that first part. Learn the difference between racial prejudice vs. racism. “We know you aren’t a racist, we just want to know if you are anti-racist.” Racism is not your fault but it’s your problem; it’s our problem. We have to join side by side and declare war against anything that goes against what Jesus taught us. In the story of the good Samaritan it wasn’t hate that was the bad example, it was indifference.

Fast Forward someone else’s dream. Gift. Give the gift of generosity. We are created in the image of a generous God. Don’t look out for your own interests. When you invest your treasure your heart follows.

Inspire every kid you meet. Balloon. Stop and pause to look into the eyes of a child. Jesus said to His disciples to allow the children to come to Him. “When you welcome one of these children, you welcome Me.” -Jesus. Something happens to a culture and community when children matter. Teach them to serve children. The church would collapse without them. Changing the teenager more than the kid when you invite them to serve.

Create beautiful spaces. Flower. What we do when we care about the spaces around us is almost a way for us to say to the people around us that there is hope. God is the God of restoration. When you put makeup on, cut the grass, restore spaces, you are doing the work of a heavenly Father who created a beautiful world. Can we say we care about people when we don’t care about the places they live in? Help the next generation restore something that is broken.

Speak up for someone else. Flag Banner. We raise the flag when we use our voice. If you have a voice you have influence. If you have influenced you have a responsibility. Raise your voice to be passionate about what Jesus was passionate about. The marginalized and poor. When someone was being abused. When power was being abused. We should be bothered because we represent a God who said to love our neighbors.

Discover life together. Coffee Cup. Sharing a drink of coffee. When we are in a community together, transformation happens. Every kid needs a consistent leader in their life. Their chance of a mobilized faith is a consistent leader who points them to Jesus. Here’s how I want the church to win. Put a consistent leader in the life of every kid. When you do this the town wins. Community does something that therapy, presentations, and a sermon can never do. Community get’s to the core of who we are and what we do. Think about the preventive work that you are doing because you are putting kids and teenagers into a relational community. When they hit a wall, they have someone to run to. The role of the church is to give kids safe places, to give resources so that leaders can be better in creating a community for kids. You can never do faith alone and win.

When I do these 7 things, God becomes alive to me. Instead of just coming together and learning, this sets them up for experiencing authentic faith.

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Dan Scott: Make the Tween Years a Bigger Deal

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Dan Scott: Make the Tween Years a Bigger Deal.
@danscott77

The role of music in Dan’s life and how he got there.

We get to work with kids and this will change the directory of their lives.

Something will happen during these years that will set them on a course.

What are we doing to make the moments huge to assist in the transition?

There is something happening in the life of a fifth grader that makes them think they are might be done with church.

What is a preteen?

No one agrees on this definition? Early onset of puberty. Not just physical but mental changes.

Today we are looking at the 10-12 years old. Just a Phase. A phase is a timeframe in a kid’s life when you can leverage distinctive opportunities to influence a kid’s future.

In-between Phase – Physical changes – Growth spurts, puberty.

Mental changes:

Elementary kids think like a scientist. What if questions.

Concrete and literal thinkers.

“There is an Icecream store around the corner.” Thinking literal corner.

“Inviting Jesus into your heart.” Thinking, Ewwww.

Middle Schoolers think like engineers.

More abstract.

Paul saying always be joyful. Think about Paul being in prison. Think about the state of mind. Connecting ideas and concepts.

Magic age is 11. 5th grade spring semester. Don’t talk to them like kids. They are perceiving it like we talk down to them. Preteens think like scientists and engineers at the same time.

Changing Emotionally and Spiritually

Not always linear and sometimes the steps forward and one step back.

Elementary Students Provoke discovery: So they will…trust God’s character and experience God’s family. Like the proverbs. It doesn’t always work out like we thought. Principle vs dynamic truth.

Middle Schoolers: Provoke discovery. So they will…own their own faith and value a faith community.

Changing Culturally and Relationally:

Crisis in this 4-5 grade phase: Friendship- Do I have friends? Help them learn how to develop friendships. Emotionally hurt and made a concrete evaluation of that hurt. Because we are not getting along anymore we are not friends anymore. When parents argue, they are getting a divorce. When they miss a field goal they don’t think they can play anymore. They go to the concrete. Starting to realize they don’t like everyone and are not liked by everyone. Teach them how to be friendly even when they are not friends.

Crisis in 6th-grade phase: Puberty. Girls average age 10 and 11.5 boys. Who do I like? Who likes me? Gain stability. Hormones and emotions. Wrapped into their identity. The church should be a place where no matter what a child or middle schooler walks in and knows that someone likes them.

What should we do:

Engage: Their Interests

Affirm: Their Personal Journey

Engage the 4th/5th grades to let them know that what they like is cool. Not a time to be pessimistic. Engage them on their level.

Affirm the 6th grader in their personal journey. Let them know that we are in this together.

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The Preteen World
Pop Culture – They are now their own taste makers. I’m going to listen to my own music because I’m done with adult contemporary. They are getting into popular culture and popular culture is getting into them. They know more youtube stars than they know movie stars. Youtube, Spotify. We have to be careful about what they are being exposed to. Be careful and open. Just because we don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s bad. Start with Rhett and Link and follow the rabbit trail to dude perfect. What social media are they looking into? Digital Natives growing up in a smart world. Speak to Siri and Alexa to find out anything they want to find out. They might not ask a parent about sex but they might ask Alexa.

Education –

Group projects. What people bring to the table can be frustrating. They are doing way higher level thinking than we were doing as kids.

Evaluation
Synthesis
Analysis
Application
Comprehension
Knowledge

From bottom to the top of the spectrum.

From what and when, to how, and then to why.

Help students wrestle with the content we are teaching them.

Evaluation: Take one thing and put it into the context of another. Move from Sunday to Monday.

Motivation and Currency

Fun Matters. They want to laugh and enjoy themselves.

Autonomy: Not absolute freedom but giving them three good choices and allow them to pick. They will own the learning process and it becomes their learning.

Friendship: Relationships are important. Consistent small groups matter. Programming will fade. They return week after week because of the friendship that the small groups cultivated in their circle. Relationships over time matters.

A Preteen Strategy
#1 Environments: When a child walks into this space for the first time their brain lights up. Week two they think it’s cool, week three they don’t notice. Nothing has changed but the brain recognizes it and they think they will hear and learn the same thing so they turn it off. Sometimes when kids don’t pay attention it’s their fault other times it’s our fault. Cue the brain that something is new so that it cues the brain. Help them personalize the space. Chalk wall. Plywood tables with markers. Help them create the environment. Continually changing the environment and they create it. Soft lighting, stage lighting. Focused attention on a certain spot. Get them by themselves as soon as possible. Ikea furniture, Ikea lamps, Xbox in the hallway. It doesn’t matter because it’s their space.

#2 Content: “I want them to go deep.” The definition isn’t more information but putting that information into a different context. Allow kids to wrestle. Ask the question. Let them wrestle with the answers to help them figure out what they need to do to make this week better and to make their faith grow. Wrestle, personalize, and do it in order to learn it.

#3 Large Group: Host and Storyteller. Entertainment and sermon. With preteen, there is a communicator. They look at the content through the lens of himself and it becomes a more personal and authentic talk. Storyteller is more like an actor where a Communicator is more of the pastor.
#4 Small Group: Attacking the question heads on. There are activities because discussion does not work for every preteen. Many preteens are not full abstract thinkers so they must start concrete before abstract. A hook the abstract thought.

#5 Home: Life with a preteen can be exhausting. Don’t want to talk on the drive in the car. Mom and dad need help because no one is prepared. We gloss over all the awkward in our own minds. Specific devotionals that they can do throughout the week. Take Sunday to a new place. Wrestle with faith skills. Prayer activity. Faith Talk. Bible Navigation. Worship with your life.

Transitions Matter!

Help parents with the transitions from elementary to adolescence.

Transition activities. Wanted in the next instead of kicked out of the current.

Students are literally stolen. Here’s a t-shirt, we are going to middle school.

We want those kids to feel wanted. Building anticipation is okay. Letting kids wait is okay. Don’t rush them to the next phase. 5th graders should not be with 8th graders, they are completely different beings. It’s dangerous and they can’t handle it. They will do anything to fit in.

SmarterKinderLouder.com/252Preteen

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Orange Tour Session Notes With Jon Acuff, Carlos Whittaker, and Reggie Joiner

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Jon Acuff: Be For Our Neighbors

@JonAcuff

Neighbors are Weird

In your neighborhood there are weirdoes. Now with technology, you know more about your neighbors. The Story of the neighbor who saw the UFO. That’s not even my weirdest neighbor. The neighbor who said that their cat has been kidnapped returned it and shave half of it. But she didn’t give all the info; which half?

Neighbors are Helpful

The story of the big black furry rat in the garage. Traps that kill them. Brown rat stuck in a trap. Jon tells his wife to get a broom. Did you know that rats can scream at you? Mrs. Lynn who takes care of it. That’s weird but that’s what a neighbor does.

For Our Neighbors:

For:

It’s a thousand drops in the bucket for when it matters most.

What if Christians were known for what they are for and not what they are against.

Our:

We are all in this tougher. It doesn’t have to be dramatic, it can be small. Watching your neighbors kids.

Neighbor:
It’s not the easy neighbors. Not those who have the same views as us. Jesus said to love our neighbors, not because it’s easy but because it’s hard. Dog Whisperer story. That’s who I have to be deliberate about.

It’s easy to hate an idea, it’s hard to hate an individual. When you know a real person it changes how you look at your neighbors.

92% of goals fail. As parents it’s hard. We think it will organically work in our family but it never happens. Finish.

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Carlos Whittaker: Look Past a Situation and Into the Story

@loswhit

Culture is different in Las Angeles than it is in Atlanta.

The story of his two daughters and adopted son.

His daughter is in kindergarten for four days and hides on Marta from the brown people. She had her entire life not seen the color of dad’s skin until someone told her to look at the color of skin. Look past a situation and into a story. If we are going to be for our neighbor that’s what we need to do.

The story of the good samaritan.

All 3 men saw the man but only one saw past a situation and into the story.

There is the potential in this room to help a generation see into the story.

For those we are leading we need to look past the situation and into their story. It gives permission for other’s to do just this.

Raise up a generation of good samaritans who look past a situation and into the story.

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Reggie Joiner: Stay Focused on What Matters Most

@reggiejoiner

When we look for the best in a person we happen to be with at the moment, we are doing what God does all the time. So in loving and appreciating our neighbors, we are participating in something sacred.” Mister Rogers

Sometimes we think Bible studies, worship, and prayer is sacred, but what if we decided that in our thinking about being for our neighbors was participating in something sacred.

Love the Lord your God with heart soul mind and strength and neighbor as yourself.

How we treat those around us is a sacred issue.

We want to measure our ministries, what are the yard sticks we put up to measure?

Challenge to change the year sticks. What generation are we leading? How do we measure that success?

As leaders, we have to be reminded of where the compass is. Sometimes we get so busy we lose sight of our north star.

Story: Moving in, Tom there waiting, can we call you the Rev, but then with hairline it became the pope. This man was completely different than Reggie. Maybe you want to do an easter egg hunt for my family. $1000 easter egg hunt. Asked Reggie, “Do you ever pray at parties?” Kegger party. The Pope is here and we are going to pray. Tom was crying and said that he wanted to be Reggie’s best friend. Next day, next week, and next month the relationship was different. Don’t know why and can’t explain it but something happened at that party. Showed up in his world and the question’s changed. He started talking about real life. The relationship went to a different play. The power and potential that a party has in relationships when you go the extra mile for your neighbors. Sometimes it takes a party. If he had never gone to the party, the relationship wouldn’t have happened. Tom taught Reggie, what it means to be a neighbor.

Sometimes it takes a party…to CHANGE how we SEE each other.

Party- Any effort to CELEBRATE, SERVE, or ENJOY each other in ways that adds value to life.

Christianity is more like a party than a class. We need to invite a generation to have a different experience than what we’ve been doing.

In the New Testament we see that Jesus likes a party. Was accused of all kinds of things, told stories about parties, compared eternity to the party, first miracle.

Sometimes it takes a party…to DEMONSTRATE that God CARES about people who party.

The prodigal son.

Sometimes it takes a party…to CONFIRM that we can always be FORGIVEN.

Sometimes it takes a party…To prove that people MATTER MORE than our opinions

Tax collectors house

Jesus tells the story about the rich man throwing a party and the VIP list people are getting ready to come. Send out invitations. There is a twist. Rich guy opens the invitation to everyone and anyone. Sends messages into the street to invite. Jesus changed the rules and gave an identity crisis.

Sometimes it takes a party…to remind us all that EVERYONE is INVITED to the party.

The basis of our faith. Everyone is invited. This one concept and idea show change how we do ministry and how we see each other. What if we started acting like everyone was invited.

An important time in history. Where the church should lead the way to say to a generation behind us that everyone is invited to the party. The gospel does not segregate us, it integrates us. The reason the generation is dissolution with the church is because of the history of marginalizing and discrimination and isolation. We’re so much better at debating the gospel than we are at demonstrating the gospel. They are watching how we treat those around us. There is coming a day when we will be in the same room at the same table because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Here’s the point. If we are going to be intentional about inviting a generation to the table, it starts with us. This can be contagious and have a ripple eggiest through the generations.

If you would start thinking in terms of inviting others to the party and inviting yourself to the party of those who are different than you, something will happen to you. Move out of stagnation.

DO SOMETHING you don’t have to do.

Suppose someone forces you to go one mile. Go two miles with them.” Jesus

By law, the Jewish boy had to carry gear of a Roman soldier for a mile. Imagine a 12-13-year-old boy actually does this. On the second mile, the conversation changes. The relationship begins to change. Mile one fulfilled an obligation. Mile two changed the nature of their relationship. When we do ministry, as usual, we do what is obligated. Something happens in your ministry when you go the second mile. Because of one step from mile one to mile two. Wonder why you aren’t motivated or don’t have passion. When you invite them to this kind of experience it changes everything. What have you done that you didn’t have to do? What have you done that you weren’t obligated to do? Busy doing everything you have to do so stop and do something you don’t have to do. Volunteer. This is what happens, it changes you in ways you never imagined. You care about things you never cared about before. Care about what time DQ closes, who is on the education board, about what the pastor in the town is struggling with. You care because where you invest your treasure your heart follows. You don’t get a burden and go do something. You get this generation to do something they have never done before and they will get a burden for this new thing.

Do something because…If you do you feel something deeper, you tap into something sacred, you experience a radical type of love. We are called to invite a generation to step over the line and go the extra mile for the party. God has called you to some important things.

 

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The Myth of Balance Workshop Series

The Myth of Balance Workshop Series begins July 10th and I would love for you to join me as we learn how to thrive in the tension of ministry, work, and life. We are called to be good stewards of our time, and I believe this workshop will keep us going the right direction. Sign up here: The Myth of Balance

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Does this sound familiar?

“This is just my busy season.”
“Next week will be better.”
“My family will understand.”

Ministry is messy, and it’s full of “exceptions” like these. Sure, you may have set office hours, but we all know those could change with the next email or phone call.

Sometimes we treat ministry like it’s an assembly line job with the same tasks day in and out, yet we’re always caught off guard when …

you get a phone call that means you are visiting a family in the hospital,
the lead pastor calls an impromptu meeting in the middle of the day,
last month passed without a day off,
volunteers call in sick,
Sunday’s coming.

Every week presents its own set of challenges. The question isn’t what to do IF they happen, but what to do WHEN they happen.

God never intended for us to sacrifice the family He blessed us with on the altar of the ministry He called us to.

In his new book, The Myth of Balance, Frank Bealer teaches you his proven formula for thriving in the tension of ministry, work, and life. He provides a tool for HOW you can reduce the stress and guilt from these untimely, but inevitable, exceptions.

But now he’s taking it one step further:
What if you could have direct access to Frank?
What if he personally guided you through every chapter of the book?
What if you could ask your specific questions—and get answers?
What if there was a supportive community of other ministry leaders who are also trying to shift their mindset from IF to WHEN, and ultimately to HOW?

Beginning July 10, you could be part of an eight-week challenge to reclaim your time and your response to the exceptions that come with ministry. Through live video, Q&A’s, group conversation, and practical resources, you will develop a customized plan to better manage these situations, allowing you to focus on the people in your care.

Dedicate your life to your calling, not your calendar.

LEARN MORE: MythofBalance.com

Share this post on facebook or twitter and I’ll give a FREE copy of the book away to one lucky winner! 🎉

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Notes from #OC17 Main Stage 6 and 7: Dr. Bernice King, Jud Wilhite, Lecrea, Doug Fields

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Build a Bridge

Tasha Morrison

This journey has taken me to places that are meeting in places constantly different than ourselves.

12k people community on social media engaging in conversation daily.

God is doing work in our churches but this work first begins in our hearts.

Dr, Bernice King

This issue of racial reconciliation is something the church holds the keys to.

We are the light of the world and the salt of the earth. If we are going to overcome this dark time, we have to be out front in showing the way in the right spirit. God gave us a command to love our enemies. We have to raise the standard and show people how to be like Christ. We are called to be christ in the culture. We must first get our heart in order.

Get out of your churches and get out of your communities. Take the courageous steps that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ took when He met with the woman at the well.

The white community does not know us. Only through the eyes of tv and media and that is not us. Get to know us. Leave the community and connect with someone that does not look like you. Hang out in their world. Men hate each other because they fear each other

“I am convinced that men hate each other because they fear each other. They fear each other because they don’t know each other, and they don’t know each other because they don’t communicate with each other, and they don’t communicate with each other because they are separated from each other.” Martin Luther King Jr.

Your goal is to win over people not win people over. Listen to understand. Refuse to have to be right. Start from maybe I’m wrong or maybe I’m ignorant. Or maybe I just need a little more information. Part of healing is allowing people to get stuff out.

We will never all agree. At the end of the day, we can find win/win solutions. Is there some place where we can find something to agree and forge a common path together?

If reconciliation is the goal then our tactics have to be consistent with that goal.

White people don’t feel like they are invited to the part and black people don’t feel like white people want to come. TD Jakes

We forget that this country lost a leader, but you lost your dad as a 5-year-old.

What killed my father was not hate, it was indifference and apathy and absence of the people of God and the Spirit of God.

@BerniceKing

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Keep Forgiving – Jud Wilhite

Forgiveness: It’s easier to talk about than to actually practice.

Punching the wall. This became a defining moment. Embarrassed that he lost control. Is this the person I’m becoming. Is this who I”m going to be. I need to do some soul work. In a lot of years of ministry, he began to carry wounds. Harbor bitterness is people leaving the church, staff quitting, friends going to another church who say not to take it personally. How else should I take it, because I”m putting all I’ve got in this.

If you start holding onto a grudge long enough, it begins to take a hold of you. A seed of bitterness that get’s planted and begins to grow.

You don’t have to be in ministry long to have an opportunity to hold onto bitterness.

How you deal with your ministry pass actually determines how successful you will be in your ministry future.

Eph 4:26-27 Anger gives a foothold to the devil.

Bitterness, hurt, and anger. Starts with a foothold and becomes a stronghold.

The devil wants to get a foothold in your church. Let God transform the pain and the hurt of you begin to transfer that pain and hurt. Your heart beings to shut down towards others. You start to secretly enjoy it when other churches go through drama or difficulty. You engage in gossip and enjoy it because your heart is getting hard. It’s not that you are running hard in ministry, it’s that you are caring a weight that you don’t need to carry.

You’ve got to stand in your second chance.

Mix Tapes – Get a jam-box with two cassettes. Master side and record side. We all have our mixtapes. We have the majority of the thoughts we had today are the same as the day before. What kind of mixtape are you playing? The old you is gone the new you has come in Christ. New creation in Him. In Christ you are free.

You are somebody because Jesus died for you. You do not need more followers, more accomplishments, your life all together, all you have to do is claim the fact that you have a second chance in Jesus Christ. Some of you have been followers of Jesus for a while but you are still living in condemnation. How do you know? Your thoughts. You are still praying for forgiveness about the same thing you’ve been praying for 1000 times. Reach down and undo the chains. Jud carries a 28-year sobriety coin because it reminds me of not who I was but about who I am today. Forgiven. Renewed. Reminds me that no matter how much someone has hurt me in my life, I have infinitely offended God more yet He forgives me. It doesn’t matter what happens today because I’m still doing better than I deserve.

Instead of being about the mission, we get distracted on our own hurt and pain and become selfish about it.

You’ve got to give a second chance.

Players gonna play, hatters gonna hate. What’s my response? I’ve got to shake that off.

When you forgive this man, I forgive him, too. And when I forgive whatever needs to be forgiven, I do so with Christ’s authority for your benefit, so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes. 2 Corinthians 2:10-11

Write down all the names of those who have hurt you over the years. Not offend but hurt. Just under 10 names. Realized it was not that many. We often get hurt by a few people and project it onto everyone else. Most people have been pretty good to us and have shown kindness to us. Few have damaged our hearts. Projecting onto everyone what a few have done. More forward towards healing. Not the pace that you are running at but the weight you are carrying. What are you carrying? What do you need to forgive? Because the work you do is too important.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

You don’t give up when things get hard or you don’t go your way.

I lead a church and don’t agree with everything we do. Get over it and get on mission.

Don’t get discouraged because it’s hard or you don’t feel talented enough. Don’t give up when you can’t see the dream any more. Don’t give up when you see that your friends are happier than you, especially on social media, because they are not. Christ has redeemed you. You have a calling and it matters. In Christ you are not a victim, you are a victor. More than a conquerer, not what happened to you but what Christ is doing through you in faith. Not just your familiars you are forgiven and free. Step into it, walk in. Be free and be empowered to make an eternal difference. Don’t let bitterness way you down and cause you to give up, what you are doing is too important.

@JudWilhite

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Redefine our audience – Lecrea

We want to get to know your perspective. Sam Colier

Voice in the community, advocate for change. Through music and writings.

More than anything I’m trying to be the best Lecrae that I can be.

If you live for people’s acceptance, you’ll die from their rejection.

You are created by the creator of all humanity and His acceptance is all you need. You need to be comfortable in your own skin. This is me, and that’s who I need to consistently be.

Rejection from Christians has lead Lecrae down this path

No one deserves the amount of praise celebrities gets.

As somebody who grew up the way I grew up…I longed for acceptance. I longed for a sense I was on the right trajectory.

Jesus wasn’t a conservative or a liberal, they both hated and killed him. Success is not what I do in comparison to you, success is what I do in comparison to what I was created to do. I had to come to grips with the fact that running my race was going to be painful.

The gates of Hell will not prevail. Gates were made to keep people out. We are supposed to be out there loving people and being gracious to other people. Jesus got in trouble with the crowd He hung out with. We need to make people who are not in the church a priority.

A man telling the story about how he killed a bear. It became about him telling the story and not about him actually killing bears.

What ends up happening is that people realize that you’re a real person, when you spend time with them. When we are salt in our neighborhoods, people can taste it. Our identity is wrapped up in being right instead of thinking about Who’s righteous for us.

@lecrae #OC17

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Do more than just talk about it – Doug Fields

Does what I’m doing matter? Have you put your heart into what you are doing and then wonder, did it make any difference?

When we are “for the neighbors”…we do more than just talk about it.

“Love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these.” Mark 12:31

Jesus was super clear, He said love your neighbors. Message and method. Do as I have done.

John 13:34

If Jesus did it, then we should do it. If we don’t do it, the ones who follow Jesus won’t do it. What gives you credibility as a leader isn’t what you say, it’s what you do. If you love teaching, fabulous but no one remembers what you are teaching anyway. What you want them to remember is the way you communicated to them but they never do. What they say is, “I remember that time, we were at Denny’s and I spilt ice tea on you.” Or I remember that time my aunt was dying and you came to the hospital.

Jesus was not in a hurry.  

Jesus actually seemed to frustrate others at the pace he lived his other.

Jesus in the synagog with the official.  Mark 5

Jesus will you heal my child and Jesus says yes. Jesus stops them on the way to the house and says, “Who touched me?”  That’s a weird question to ask in a crowd. If I were the the dad, I’d be like why did we stop?  Come on we got to go, you got to heal my child.”  Peter was like “I would never touch you.”

Mark 5:32

His sense of purpose and timing frustrated otter people because he wasn’t in hurry.

Lazarus. Jesus wouldn’t have done a good job on your church’s pastoral staff.

Jesus also called other people to slow down. Martha.

Ministry is a race and speed is our drug of choice. We want to grow the biggest yet this was not Jesus’ style. Less run and more walk. Less race and more face to face. Jesus modeled unhurried ways for us. He had a lot to do.

Being neighborly takes time.

Slow Yourself Down. Not a lazy life. Not that you don’t work hard. Just less speed and more Jesus. Less activity and more love.

The greatest command is not to get more things done. It’s to love Him and to love others.

We need to stop honoring business. It is a badge of brokenness. Busy people are broken somewhere. There is a symptom not being dealt with. Business moves into our character. We don’t listen well. We don’t relax. Even at the grocery store we are running Grocery store algorithms and competing in our minds because hurry is a part of our life.

Busy is the enemy of neighborly.

Jesus spent time with messy people.

People in the church are weird.

Jesus spent time with the immoral woman. Luke 7:39
Jesus spent time with people of questionable character. Matthew 9:10

Jesus spent time with notorious sinners. Luke 19:6-7

Chubby bunny became choking your buddy.

Jesus was neighborly with messy people. Get some messy friends. Are you doing life with anyone that has church people questioning you because church people are scared of messy people. Messy people are not the enemies. When you hang out with them you begin to understand grace a little deeper. Do for one what you wish you can do for everyone. You might not be able to have 12 messy friends but you can have one, without motive.

Jesus expected God’s power to show up.

We have become so robotic and skilled in what we do that we don’t depend on God’s power. We just get so used to doing ministry, so busy and overwhelmed, that we stop expecting God’s power to show up. So we are limited to our own power. Guilty of shallow and small pre-service prayers. Don’t you want some things in your ministry that you just can’t explain outside of God’s power. That’s what Jesus did, He expected God to show up. Jesus turning water into wine.

John 9 when Jesus heals the blind guy. He spits. To make a mud pie, you need a lot of spit. He puts it on the guys’ eyes and says, go and wash…which is a nice thing to say after you spit on someone. He said go and wash and the guy came back seeing. Somewhere after the “Go” God’s power showed up. What’s this mean for you? GO with confidence and expectations that God’s power is going to show up! This free’s you up. You don’t have to quantify the results. Do in faith and God is pleased. The challenge is to lead like Jesus led. There’s just too much at stake to go back the same you were when you came. As for me, I’ll go back and be neighborly.

@DougFields #OC17

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Notes from #OC17 Main Stage 4 and 5: Mike Foster, Ryan Leak, Jeff Henderson, Kara Powell, Bob Goff

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Mike Foster

Prodigal parties. Parties for inmates who are getting out of prison.

When you’ve been incarcerated there is a sense that your identity and hope have been attacked.

Surround with friends and family members.

No agenda other than to poor into the individual and let them know that we love them.

Feeling disqualified.

All of us have been in those moments when we are like, ‘Is there a place for me.’

We are really great at believing in God but we struggle to believe in ourselves or each other.

Wake up every morning and look for an opportunity to practice tiny greatness.

Neighbors make me a better Christian.

We are interacting with our neighbors because it’s God design to change us. Reggie

Mike has a passion for leaders, that they will thrive and survive. Have a dynamic faith and push through the obstacles. Surrounded by a community of grace people.

@MikeFoster #OC17

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Make room for someone new – Ryan Leak

When we are for our neighbors we make room for someone new. Matthew 28:19-20

How are we going to build bridges with people who are different than us?
We have to be intentional with the places we go.

Only 8% of the miracles Jesus performed were performed inside the synagog.

Mark 6:55-56 Don’t notice what Jesus did, notice where he was

Everyone should be quick to listen James 1:19

The brand of Christianity.

Can you imagine if we equipped our people to just listen.

The gym, one of the most diverse places in the world.

Be intentional in how we are kind

Romans 2:1-4 ESV God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance.

Easiest time to make a difference. You don’t have to be a lot a bit nice, just a little bit.

Not random acts of kindness, intentional acts of kindness.

I’ve decided that I’m going to be intentionally kind when I go to the gym.

Pass out Gatorade’s.

One way or another, here’s what I know about every person I play basketball with, they’re going to get thirsty.

You’ll be surprised what happens in your world, your peoples’ world when they decide to be intentionally kind.

I noticed he was playing with a wedding ring. Why do I need to go to church when you’re already here?

Ask every person who serves you one question, “Do you have anything I can pray for?”

God’s got a plan for your life, let me pray for you.

There is someone in your neighborhood who has the weight of the world on their shoulders and all they need to know is they have God on their side.

God is so real.

God draws people to himself.

I’m just playing my part, asking people who are paid to serve me, by asking them a question.

“Want to make room for someone new at the table? Be intentional!”

@ryanleak #OC17

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Love where we live – Jeff Henderson

Holy Sprit is not just in the adult service. Holy Spirit is in the preschool. In our experience, after an hour the Holy Spirit leaves the preschool.

One of the pain points for stress points is when parents come home for the first time from the hospital.

Wagon. Incredible ministry.

Courtney and Brandon trip.

Wagon-iers – we are for our neighbors

This is a photo opportunity for families.

When you bring a first time guest to church, you see church completely differently.

You will stop complaining about the wrong things and will start caring about the right things.

5 words in the good samaritan story.

He came where the man was. Luke 10:33

How dow e create a neighbor minded church?

If our church went out of business, would the community even notice?

We can’t expect them to come to us if they don’t know we are for them.

For God so loved.

Practical ideas

Social Media: The apostle Paul would be on Instagram.

Most social media posts from churches are 99.99% about the church. We need to highlight people in our community.

Crispy Cream: Green dye in donuts. Snaps a picture of worker and encourages. Made the good employee a hero.

Do an inventory of your church social media and see what they are for.

A neighbor minded church allows people to belong before they believe.

“Hey, I’m Chris and I’m an agnostic.”

Start staff meetings: Go to Instagram and search hashtag #ForGwinett like and engage. Celebrate what you want repeated. He used the hashtag #ChrisTheAgnostic Staff blew it up.

It’s so wonderful to belong to such a fun nice place.” That’s a win

The longer you hang out with Jesus and Jesus’ people the closer you come to belief.

A neighbor minded church creates common ground instead of dividing lines.

Create common ground and conversations.

Simple and not a lot of money.

“Pay it backwards.”

For Gwinnett car magnets. Not churchweb pagee.

Order, pull up a little and listen, if it’s catering then pray. If it’s number one then game on.

Something powerful happens when they know you are for them.

He believed that he belonged.

There’s a church that is for them. They are so passionate about Jesus that they are not going to wait for them to come to church on Sunday, they are going to go to them.

#PrayForChris

@JeffHenderson #OC17

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Kara Powell

We are part of the family of God.

The pictures of our church families are changing.

Becoming more ethnically diverse as a church family.

Starting to look more like our neighborhood.

Getting to know our neighbors can be hard, awkward, and takes times. Sometimes its difficult.

Why try to know our neighbors?

Because of Jesus.

The example of Jesus Christ.

Heaven and then came to earth.

The word became flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood

Jesus gives us eternal life in heaven and real life on earth.

The Gospel champions cost not comfort.

The gas pedal that is fueling the churches spiritual journey.

What would be the difference be in pictures of your church family and pictures of your neighborhood.

Ethnicity, Economic, gender, generational.

FactFinder.Cencus.Gov

How does your church line up with your neighborhood?

Survey: Has your church done enough to become racially diverse. 67% said yes.

Without intentionally we default to similarity.

How do our upfront leaders reflect our neighborhood?

We have feminized children’s ministry and masculinized student ministry. Let’s work on that.

How do we help our neighbors feel like insiders not outsiders?

Part of the church family, even if not close to God.

When off campus it helps.

How do we become the best church for the neighborhood?

Young people were twice as likely to highlight diversity compared to other adults in the church.

This is what God wants to do in and through your church. Students can be the tip of that arrow.

Champion cost not comfort.

Jesus make it so!

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Bob Goff

There’s a big different in being shot at and loved on.

What we are supposed to do is to love on.

Jesus leads people to Jesus. What we do is love everybody always.

I’m not trying to be right any more, I’m trying to be Jesus.

Living a life of constantly being misunderstood.

You’re going to see more.
We don’t know what we will see but we know we will see more. We will see more hope in people the more we look for it.

Galatians 5:5 The only thing that matters is your faith expressed in love.

We try to make ourselves the hero of victim of every story.

I’m just a participant in this. I just want to see more Jesus in people.

If were not going to welcome people when they come to our gatherings of faith, we shouldn’t invite them.

There’s nothing that says you are welcome like the statue of liberty.

Make your faith easy, and people will see more of Jesus.

Left pockets gone. Your faith and mine are the sum of everything you are hanging onto and everything you are willing to let go of. Whatever it takes. You’re going to see more of Christ and those around you will too.

On your very worst day, Jesus calls you beloved. If you aren’t hearing that word beloved, it’s not Jesus talking. You stink at loving yourself.

Matthew 13: Mustard Seed. Parable of what the seed turns into.

Small things will become beautiful big things in your life, and here’s the point, to give people rest. He doesn’t do it to show us His power, He shows His presence.

My beloved is mine and I am His. Song of Solomon 2:16

Don’t be right, be Jesus.

At 10:35 they knew they could fly.

What do you think they were thinking at 10:34 Fail trying, don’t fail watching. Good Samaritan

If following Jesus doesn’t lead me and you to lonely, hurting, and isolated people then it’s not Jesus you are following. You are just trying to look good.

Street names: This way, that way, anyway, church is on His Way and airport is on runWay. Don’t get stuck there. Matthew 25. Hungry people, people in jail. I don’t write, Jesus loves you. If you’ve had a double double you know Jesus loves you. Love everybody always.

My beloved, I am yours and you are mine. Jesus isn’t wowed by $20 words. He doesn’t want your help, he wants your hearts.

Sea Otters, hold hands because they don’t want each other to drift away.

Notes from #OC17 Main Stage 2: Jon Acuff, Danielle Strickland, and Andy Stanley

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“We want you to have a chance to be immersed in why you do this ministry.”

“We have to have a place where people can ask questions.”

You won’t know how what you do will impact someone you won’t even remember.

You are all mustard seeds.

The hardest thing is you will never see the results.

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The Ultimate Exodus: Finding Freedom from What Enslaves You – Danielle Strickland @djstrickland

Book: http://a.co/9pT3Cbx

“People were born to be free and they’re not.”

“Freedom is not just an outside job, it’s an inside job.”

If exploitation can reach girls, so can redemption and hope.

“80% of sex trafficking victims are from foster care.”

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Rethink how we do church – Andy Stanley @AndyStanley

He’s not the real deal, he’s the real, real deal. Andy about Reggie.

Genuinely committed to the next generation. Reggie didn’t know it was going to be this, he just knew God wanted him to do it.

Does it ever get easier? Charles Stanley wanted to ask someone further down the road.

Vertical Morality: Peace with God based on keeping the peace with God. Is ___ a sin? Behind that questions is how close can we get to sin. Eye to the sky.

The old covenant/testament. Covenant with God and the nation, not individuals. The kings/prophets leadership would impact the whole nations favor with God.

Most of our OT is the story of the kings of Israel.

The Old covenant that birthed the Christ. Shapes the way we think about our relationship with God and this gives us a vertical morality. Cocoon/Butterfly Illustration.

John the baptist, get ready, get ready, get ready or you’re going to miss it. Then one day he said look! The lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. John 1:29. Not just something new, but something better. Flip phone vs. iPhone Illustration.

But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children. Galatians 4:4-5

Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” Jesus in John 13:35

New command: The golden role, platinum!

Who has the authority to add to the commands and give a new command? Only God.

John 13:35 Love one another.

Passover meal changed and became about Jesus. Do this in remembrance of me. That was huge. The old is old, it’s a brand new covenant.

Jesus introduced Horizontal Morality: Fellowship with God gauged

1 John 2:7 Dear friends, I am not writing a new commandment for you; rather it is an old one you have had from the very beginning. This old commandment–to love one another–is the same message you heard before.

It’s new to the world. It’s like the sun is rising and you are part of that sunrise.

Cast out all of the darkness.

If anyone claims, “I am living in the light,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is still living in darkness. 1 John 2:9 – to diminish the value of another person, to diss.

God is really really really in love with people and you can’t dismiss people and be right with God.

Everyone you are eyeball to eyeball with is someone who Jesus dies for.

“Your love for God is demonstrated and authenticated by how we treat those around us.”

If we’re not careful-intentional, we’ll orient children and students toward obeying invisible God rather than loving visible people.

“The problem with Vertical Morality is the loopholes.”

Why should we tell the truth? Not the bible tells me to.

Because lying says to the person you are lying to, “You’re worthless” I’ll protect me at your expense. Lying hurts. Lying breaks the relationship.

Why should we be generous? OT. bring me your first fruit and I’ll protect you.

The reason we should be generous is because it helps people. God so loved the world He gave.

Why shouldn’t you talk bad about other people? Gossip. Paul never leverages the OT for conduct. He quotes it.

It diminished their significants and Christ died for them.

Why guys should not pressure girls sexually?

I don’t want to do anything that hurts you. I don’t want to do anything that would diminish your future relationships. I don’t want to be your regret. Honor her. There are no loopholes with honor.

If it’s not best for them, it’s a sin. As I have loved you, so you are to love one another.

All NT imperatives are applications of Jesus’ commandment.
Paul ties it all to how we are treated through Christ by our heavenly father.

Do our kids know this? Do our students know this? Do you know this?

Horizontal morality is less complicated, more demanding.

What does love require of me? – Andy Stanley

This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. John 15:12

If you mistreat one of my kids, don’t invite me to lunch. You can send me gifts and sing my praises but I’m not buying it. Do something for my children and you’ll be my friend forever. You don’t have to ask me to love you, I love you because I love them.

Is there anything that brings you more joy than watching our children love one another?

The best way to please your father in heaven is to honor the people around you.

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Notes from #OC17 Breakouts: Amber Baker, Jim Wideman, Nick Blevins, Chad Ward, Sherry Surratt and Brad Griffin

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Leading Your Team for the Long Haul – Amber Baker @AmberDBaker

We want to see teams of people stick together longer than 18 months. At 18 months it becomes hard. Stick it out. As a leader, you get momentum. How do you create this team that sticks together? A group of people working together for a mutual goal!

To lead for the long haul you need transformational leadership.

The team feels trust, admiration, loyalty, and respect towards the leader, and they are motivated to do more than they originally expected to do.

Theory:

Idealized influence – the leader becomes a role model who is admired, respected, and emulated by followers. You need a sense of charisma. Figure out how, get coaching if you need charisma. Leadership is influence.

Inspirational Motivation – leader inspires and motivate others by providing meaning and challenge to their followers work. Talk about why they do what they do. Explain the why. Not a craft to fill the time but why this craft is important. How does this really make a difference?

Individualized Stimulation – leaders behavior that encourages followers creativity and stimulates innovative thinking. Collective of the group. Do people have a voice collectively? Bring people in to be part of the process and have a voice on the team. Intellectually stimulation.

Individualized Consideration – leaders play a role in developing team members potential and pays attention to their individual needs for achievement and growth. Coaching. Have you actually said, this is how you want it done or said? This coaching takes a lot more work.

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Practice:

1. Know your team.

Not know their job but know their personality, temperament, and how it works together. Real Colors Assessment https://realcolors.org

Golds: Plans ahead; likes checking off items on the “to-do” list

Pushes to have things decided and settled

Sets deadlines and expect them to be met

Gives and likes to receive precise directions and instructions

Punctual, Organized, Value Rules

Green: Tries to convince others by logic and objective arguments; uses words like principle, logical, standards, analysis.

Appear most comfortable with topics not related to feelings or relationships

Has a small number of deep friendships.

Pauses before answering or giving information

Values independence and time alone

need information and questions answered

Research Oriented.

Blue: Talks about possibilities more than what exists

Likes to do things in a new ways; dislikes routine

Is upset by conflict or disharmony

Shows concern for the feelings of others

Choose a tactful comment over a directly truthful one.

Values family – who is your family?

Orange: Uses words like flexible, adapt, evolving, and spontaneous

Does work in a way that makes the process enjoyable

Shows physical energy in body language, facial expressions, and voice.

Acts or speaks quickly, sometimes without thinking.

Works easily with several other things going on.

Values fun, independence, challenges.

Rules are guidelines – can be broken.

We need one another and we need to understand one another.

It’s important to speak in a way that others can hear.

Greens are great at getting to the why. Why are we doing this in the first place.

Blue wants everyone to be connected and part of them.

Oranges help push the boundaries that Gold are lining up.

Recent studies who that individuals who are more aware of team roles and behavior required for each role perform better than individuals that do not. Give job descriptors. Outline expectations.

Getting the right people and the right chemistry is important.

2. Boundaries

Set boundaries on: Phones, emails, social media, day’s off, time with the Lord, family time.

No phones at the table. Set boundaries on yourself and encourage your team to do the same.

Professionals who are on their device tend to work 70 hours a week.

Set and keep our days off.

Monday morning time away with the Lord. Coffee shop, library, outside. Time actively with God.

3. 80% with 20%

20% of your people do 80% of your work.

Spend 80% of your time with the 20%.

High Impact Leadership

*Create a list of my 20% people.

4. Leading change well

Change can evoke excitement or fear.

As a transformation leader, you need to get out in front of change. Talk abut chance and the why of that change.

Coach and do things well.

3 types of leaders in change
The yes man.

The bulldozer

The path. guide them through the process of change. Influence, motivate, stimulate the brains for creative ways to change, and coach them through it.

Industry Output Over time – Change Model

Introduction, growth, maturing, decline.

As maturity is happening, it’s time to change and grow.

Read the Stretch book by Jim Wideman.

5. Have FUN together

Even if you are not fun, find a way to have fun.

Christmas open house.

Coffee Breaks

Notes Home

Go do something fun and play together.

Dig deep and become a motivator.

The Holy Spirit speaks to us, and when we ask for wisdom He gives it to us.

Any of our great long-term volunteers started with relationships.
I believe God is calling us to the serve on sit one, Mary and Martha principle.

You can only do what you can do. God sees this, knows your heart, and will give you strategies for that.

As soon as you have information out ahead, give them some information to help lead them through the change process. They might even be able to help you through these steps of change.

abaker@grace-church.com

AmberBaker.me

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A Couple of Ministry Hacks – Jim Wideman and Nick Blevins @jimwideman @nickblevins

Busy is a word that changes as you are in ministry. Big and Busy are relative words.

Refers to any trick, shortcut, skill, or novelty method that increases productivity and efficiency, in all walks of life.

People make more money by how much stress they are over. Janitor vs Surgeon. Learn how to take care and measure stress. Have stress relievers.

Experience is the best teacher but it doesn’t have to be your own experience.

The right tools make a difference.

Anything you are good at, you had to learn to do. Some things come easier to us.

Organization: The vehicle that causes me to get everything done in my life and

causes me to be ready for more

Organization + Order = management

Proverbs 28:2 When a country is rebellious, it has many rulers, but a man of understanding and knowledge maintains order.

Calendars are like lawnmowers. When you reach a certain size lawn you need a bigger mower.

The size and the church you want to have not the one you have.
Work on the life you want to have not the life you currently have.

Unless someone is getting, save, healed, you see a hand writing on the wall, or you hear the voice of God, the meeting will last one hour or less.

Theme days – specific focus on specific days (helpful for managing multiple areas or focus on the type of work – meetings, admin, etc.

If I keep moving things from my list to another week, ask am I really the person to do this in the first place?

If you’ll do when you’re small what you are forced to do when you’re big, you’ll get big! Dr. Roy Hicks

Sandbox concept

Language to help talk about what is within your decision making authority and what is not.

We should be pushing to widen their sandbox.

Designate a date night as well as a family time. You might need to rearrange this, but keep it a priority. Do you plan your family activities before you plan your church activities? What does this say about your priorities?

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Moving Kids to be Neighbor Minded – Chad Ward @chadlward

We all need God to be right in the center of it, guiding everything we do.

What are we doing really, to lay the foundation so that our children are for our neighbors?

Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it.” Train, or show. Model. Time, repetition in training. Watch me do what I do, now you. Your turn.

It’s hard for a child to look beyond themselves, just as it’s hard for me to look beyond myself.

1. Create meaningful generosity and compassion opportunities. Matthew 9:36 when he saw the crowds He had compassion on them.

Ask the right questions to the right people and then listen to their answers.

January: Partner with the church for canned goods. We want your children to go to their pantry so they can start the process of being generous.

Spring break: missions trip with young kids really having an impact.

June: Summer series. Invest and invite. Give event: Quarters for camp.

July: Backpack drive. Because so many kids are homeless or no parental involvement.

Celebrate on the back end so people know why we do this.

2. Create meaningful invest and invite opportunities.

Easy ask

We want families to fight because they want to come to church.

The challenge that I see in most churches is a lot of calendars that are full but without purpose.

What can we stop doing to make Sunday better?

What is one event we can do this year to help young people be for their neighbors. Invest/Invite

Walk your space and ask yourself how it works and looks from a guest services perspective. Fresh? Fun?

Andy Stanley one-sentence job description: Create a safe, irresistible, life-changing elementary environment.

KidStuff: Learn about God’s big ideas. Everything you need to apply the big idea at home.

Baptism Bash.

Game On:

3. Create meaningful conversation opportunities.

Dives into the heart of everything they are thinking.

26 of 36 bottom lines are focused on diving into discussions to be for our neighbors.

Live to Give

Small groups – understand the impact you are making in kids. Does this help them when it comes to watch me, do what I do, your turn when it comes to being for their neighbors.

Take homes: Why and how?

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Reactivating Parents Every Week – Sherry Surratt @SherrySurratt

Have those moments when you feel that God is looking at you, tapping you on the shoulder, and speaking to you.

“The things that you are doing today are impacting someone else’s eternity.”

What we do every week with the parent’s impacts what they do every day with their child.

Less than 20% of your parents will come when you offer events for parents.

Families are busy but they are not too busy.

It’s not that they don’t care.

Every parent wants to be a better parent.

Every parent has dreams for their kids.

Every parent can do something more. Here’s the reality, many times they don’t know that.

That feeling of overwhelmed or stuck is miserable. Do you know how many parents are feeling that?

“I wish for the love of God that someone would teach me how to be a mom.”

We can show them.

When the church change show it views parents, parents change how they view the church.

Expectations are huge.

When we believe that they really do what to be a better parent, it changes our expectations.

Give it to them in easy bites.

One of the best things you can do for your ministry is to put yourself in the shoes of a single mom with eight kids. Really learned the definition of being overwhelmed.

What happens during the week really IS more important.

Parents have the math on their side. 3k hours of influence in kids vs 40 (or less)

The average family comes to church 1.8x per month.

When parents understand how much time they have left, they tend to do more with the time they have now.

We need to equip a parent to drop everything they are doing for ‘their time’ because these times come less and less and less as kids grow older.

Start early with a parent and help them understand you parental influence goes down and your relational influence goes up.

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The High School years are the “you can” years.

Seize today because your positional influence is going down every year. You need to work hard to build your relational influence.

Enter into their world.

If you’re not that family (that goes out and does this big grand thing) that’s okay, because you are consistent over time.

3 strategic shifts.

1. Work according to their schedule, not ours.

Hard because the church has an annual rhythm.

How can we develop a rhythm for the year?

What is my child going to do for the summer?

What are the 3 questions your child is asking right now? (Phase event name)

2. Coach rhythmically, not sporadically.

Consistency over time.

3. Speak specifically, not generally.

Let them know what to do, what to say, or what to ask at specific times.

Parent Cue pieces.

Parent Resource Wall

Conversation Guides. (next one up is health)

Parent cue app

Here at Orange, we love to set you up to look really really good.

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Reimagining Senior Sunday – Brad M. Griffin @bgriffinfyi

Sometimes we elevate the wrong stories or the wrong parts of the stories in this phase.

1 in 2 drift from God and the faith in the first 12-18 months after leaving high school.

4 of 5 intend to cross well.

At the precise moment, they need the support of community most0when they are making significant life decisions we are missing the mark.

We believe in young people and we believe in the church. We want to see faith-filled young people unleashed to change the world.

Text “Free” to 44144 and receive 3 free resources from Fuller Youth Institute.

Only 1 in 7 students felt prepared to what faced them specifically when it came to their faith.

#1 advice to youth leaders was to prepare us better.

Thread that runs through preparation: Identity Development (true in all phases)

Identity: Who am I? Shame based responses. / Grace

Belonging: Where do I fit? Conditional acceptance. / Love
Purpose: What difference do I make? Self-fulfillment. / Mission

The better story always wins.

Faith and Faithing: Is faith only a noun, or also a verb?

Not an event but a process. Starting at, at least the beginning of the senior year.

9 months out: Begin conversations about what’s next beyond high school. *what does it look like to be part of the church next year?

6 months: connect students with more adults outside youth ministry

* the walk of shame from high school ministry to young adults where they don’t know anyone. retreat or missions trip with college ministry. Let parents know what is coming up.

5-3 months: Family communication about transition and dates.

2 months: Plan pre0and post graduation events with students and leaders.

6 weeks: Face to face parent

4 weeks: Host your senior event before graduation: Party and traditions

Transition summer: SGL conversations and family cues

*Orange resource coming at OC tour for senior Sunday.

More conversations and more relevant topics.

Finding faith community and making new friends.

Getting connected with a campus ministry really does make a difference.

Those who don’t find somewhere to connect within the first few weeks probably won’t.

These seniors haven’t practiced friend building skills in years. They have a group. Who do you want to surround yourself with these next few year’s. When they have choosing power, they don’t know what to do with that. Who is close, convenient, or making the most noise.

Deciding about parties: Especially in the first two weeks set the trajectory for the next years.

Help them decide ahead of time. Will you go to the party? Will you hold the cup? Will you have something in the cup? Will you drink what is in that cup? How many will you drink? Role-play these decisions so they don’t fall into decisions.

The first two weeks of freshman year and the first two weeks of senior year are when students are most open to spiritual conversations.

Managing Time and Money

Help them think through it

Give tools

No one is going to tell the new student when to go home. You have to make the decision in the middle of the night. Managing time is one of the biggest stressors.

Handling Emerging Doubts

Magazine: Hold up finger behind his back. Does God know about the hurting? Steve. Jobs.

It’s not doubt that’s toxic to faith. It’s silence or unexpressed doubt.

“I don’t know but” is a great response to doubt.

“I’m so glad you asked.” “You’re not the first person to ask this question.”

Their questions doesn’t offend you or God. Keep expressing.

Navigating Changing Relationships

Parents are trying hard and they need help navigate this transition also.

Is it okay to text my parents every day at college?

Parents are feeling grief and loss and they need to be needed.

Teach practical skills

Meet at laundry mat with dirty laundry and quarters. Talk how to do laundry as well as other issues they are going to be facing. One less issue to worry about.

New ideas for family and grad dinner. Give them things to talk about. Help them think through that moment as a time of blessing. They might want to get out of there so manage expectations. What would be meaningful and what would be too much.

Give them leads

Help campus ministry people know who your people are.

Let the students know where to go. campus ministry and churches.

Help parents visit a church and talk with a campus ministry leader when they go visit.

Students and leaders

Stay in touch

Contact from a youth leader or adult from the church is significant.

The power of reaching out: When teenagers leave home, we hope their faith will stick. *video by Kara and Fuller

In a digital world, real cookies speak volumes.

Cookies, coffee gift card, praying for you note.

Jump on FaceTime and reach out to college students when around other students.

Pray. Take a picture of the youth group or church praying for the students who are away. Send them a printed picture with a note. Have people sign them.

Consider 4+1

Not add another year of high school ministry just think about that year intentionally.

Small group leaders, don’t recycle back but ask them to stay with that group one more year whatever that looks like.  Connect and cheer on. Connect with mentors. Intentional plan.

Lame grad gifts that no one used and books no one read, music no one listened to. Instead, Starbucks gift cards, use this to have some significant conversations this summer. Take out your parents, small group leader or whoever and kickstart conversations about your future.

One number in your phone you can always contact no matter what.

What’s the one relationship where you never have to lie.

How will we respond when they fail?

Senior Sunday: Not goodbye but hello world.

 

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20 Powerful Leadership Quotes From #OC17 Session 1

the best

“Some of your neighbors feel like you don’t love them because you act like you don’t like them.” @reggiejoiner

“The next generation needs someone who has gone before them to be for them.” @GeraldFadayomi

“If there’s any entity that should lead the way in treating everyone like they’re invited to the party, it should be the church.” @reggiejoiner

“There are no ordinary children.” @djstrickland

“What if the next generation needs to have a voice more than they need to hear our voice?” @GeraldFadayomi

“A party is any effort to celebrate, serve, or enjoy each other in a way that adds value to life.” @reggiejoiner

“That’s what we mean by neighbor; it’s all of us.” @JonAcuff

“You have the place what better than google for parenting, and that place is the word of God.” @loswhit

“I want the legacy of our generation to be that we are party-starters.” @reggiejoiner

“To be for someone, you have to know them. To know them, you have to listen to them.” @GeraldFadayomi

“We don’t have enough leaders who are advocating for people who are hurting.” @reggiejoiner

“We get so focused on what we want to teach them that we miss the opportunity to hear them.” @GeraldFadayomi

“Mile one fulfilled an obligation. Mile two changed the nature of their relationship.” @reggiejoiner

“Parenting is one of the loneliest jobs on the planet. If we are for our neighbors we never let parents parent alone.” @loswhit

“Your heart always follows where you put your treasure in life.” @reggiejoiner

“Get in the habit in your life of doing something you don’t have to do.” @reggiejoiner

“The best way I can love God is by loving people God loves.” @reggiejoiner

“Create beautiful spaces. It tells people you were expecting them.” @reggiejoiner

“Point students that are crying out to be heard, to a God who is always listening.” @GeraldFadayomi

“We’ve got to stop acting like discipleship is about information, and realize discipleship is about relationship.” @reggiejoiner