Breakout 1 – Jim Wideman – @jimwideman
Reaching The Kids That Live At Your House
Work hard at making the Gospel fun in the church AND work hard at making Christianity fun in the home.
1. I am so thankful that God called me into the ministry & particularly to Kids & Family Ministry.
2. I’m also thankful God called me to be Julie’s Husband, Yancy & Whitney’s Dad, Cory & Nigel’s Father-in-love, & Sparrow & Rhythm’s G.
3. It matters to God how you manage your ministry & your family. Your kids are your greatest ministry.
1. Too many ministers are married to the church and date their family. I believe it’s important to be married to your family and date the church.
2. My family is 2nd on my priority list, 1st is my relationship with Christ.
3. My ministry is priorities 3, 4, & 5
•My pastors’ problems
•The level of leadership directly under me
•Everything else about ministry
4. When it comes to reaching the kids that live at your house as well as the kids at your church, “What happens at home is more important than what happens at church.”
5. Deuteronomy 6: 6-7 “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Impress means intentional. Don’t be more intentional at church than you are at work. Be married to your family and date the church, not the other way around.
6. Let your family be your greatest sermon (If you aim at nothing you’ll hit it every time!) Make a list of things you want your family to be known for.
7. 12 Things You Can Do To Connect With Your Kids For Life
1. Make Jesus the king of your house not just your heart
1. Be the example of living the word they see (Father & Parent like God)
2. Let faith be caught not just taught
3. Make Jesus an everyday part of your lives (Never did devotions)
4. Use the tools you tell your church parents to use at your house
5. Give them the Word and do not allow strongholds or attitudes to be formed
6. Model making choices based on the word & prayer
7. Teach your children how to hear God’s voice
8. Be a worshiper at home not just at church
2. Love your spouse the way you want your children’s spouse to love them
1. Adore your spouse
2. Model love (Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another
3. Whatever you did to win their affection is what you do to keep their affection
3. Spend lots of time with your kids (at home & at church)
1. Ephesians 5:15 Be very careful, then, how you live –not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity.
2. Master time management
• Act like your time belongs to you
• Live by Priorities
• Make appointments by your priority
• Evaluate how you spend your time (identify time wasters)
• Know how many nights you are willing to work at the church. Block time off. Plan things with your family.
3. Making time for your family has to be a lifestyle choice (watch your nights)
• On the phone (FaceTime)
• Rituals (Saturday/ Sunday Lunches)
• Family Outings
• Include your kids on errands
• Make time off fun
3. Special Times
• Events and happenings they choose
• Events and happenings you choose
4. Be consistent in your discipline
1. The keyword is consistent
2. Correct tell why
3. Punish (different ways with different kids and at different ages) AND reward them when you catch them doing right!
4. Pray with them
5. Hug them, tell them you love them
6. Move on
5. Seek to understand how God has made each of your children & grandchildren differently and allow them to be different (Personality test help)
• Different is good!
• Teach them to serve
• Teach them to work
6. Find each of your children’s natural giftings and bends and encourage them in it.
Identify God’s call & purpose
• Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it
• Encourage- to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope. To spur on; to give help to
7. Learn about their world, their interest, their music, their styles. When you care about their interests they’ll care about yours.
“Because I take the time to ask Fortnite questions to my grandson, he asks me questions about the Bible.”
• Be truly interested
• Dare to learn about what they like
• Be all in
8. Admit your mistakes. When you’re wrong make corrections. (Ask for their forgiveness) Ask them to pray for you. There’s a huge difference between I’m sorry and Godly repentance.
9. Talk to your children about everything. Be open and honest.
(Establish an open-door policy early)
• Talk about your mistakes and temptations. Have you ever noticed that the devil attacks family the same way? Prepare them.
• If the devil tempted you in an area, you can rest assured he’s going to tempt them in the same area
• Don’t overreact when they express views that are different or wrong.
(Don’t freak out)
• Don’t forget what it was like to be their age
10. Make their friends welcome in your home
• Include them in your time with your kids
• Invest in your kids’ friends
11. Don’t open the door for rebellion in your children by rebelling against authorities in your lives
• Always side with authority
• Children are masters of managed information
• Never lie to your children about anything
• If this has been an issue, repent.
12. Don’t exasperate your children
• Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
• What does exasperate mean?
1). to excite or inflame the anger of: enrage
2). to cause irritation or annoyance to
1. Don’t forget what it was like to be a teen
2. Set boundaries and let them earn your trust (check up on them, but be fair)
3. Let the punishment fit the crime
4. Don’t put unrealistic expectations on your kids
5. Don’t have one set of rules for them & another for yourself
8. It’s never too late to make the right choices
If you’re not dating your spouse, you need to be.
Whatever you did to win your spouse’s affection, continue it today!
Let her know there is no one you love more than her, including the church.
If your pastor wants the church to be a priority over your family, you’re working for the wrong church.
1. We serve a God who is the God of a second chance
2. Where do you need to make changes?
3. Let’s pray
Breakout 2 – Jim Wideman – @jimwideman
Resourcing Grandparents To Pass Their Faith To the Next Generation
Very few churches have a ministry to grandparents or mobilize grandparents. This is a mission field.
1. Thanks/ notes/ Intro family/ Whose in the room?
2. Many churches today focus on 1 generation
1. God of Abraham, Isaac, & Jacob
2. Multigenerational ministry – This makes the church balanced.
3. Every generation can be influenced by each other
3. More grandparents are living on the earth than at any other time in history
4. What do we know about being a grandparent?
1. It’s more than wonderful
2. Grandkids are better than your kids
3. It’s the reward for not killing the first bunch
4. You can send them home when you get tired
Love your grandkids by giving them the same rules at your house as they have at their parent’s house.
5. Grandparent ministry today offers the same opportunities and potential that children’s ministry did when I started over 40 years ago.
1. More than 70 million grandparents currently in the U.S.
2. Only 30 million indicate attending church (43%)
3. There are 108.7 million people 50 years old & above in the U.S.
6. Fun facts that you may not know from AARP’s latest report
1. About one-third of all adults are grandparents.
2. The average age of becoming a grandparent is around 47.
3. The average age of grandparents is around 64.
4. The average grandparent has six grandchildren
5. About 77% of grandparents are married.
6. About half are still working.
7. A slight majority, 54%, have at least some college education.
8. About 6% of grandparents have a grandchild living in their home.
9. Parents are not present in around 43% of those homes, a phenomenon known as a skip-generation family. How is your church helping grandparents who are the primary caretaker for kids? Help with childcare, car clinics, date nights, back to school events.
10. About 15 % provide regular childcare for grandchildren in their homes.
11. More than half of grandparents help with grandchildren’s educational expenses.
12. A little less than half of the grandparents help with grandchildren’s living expenses.
13. A quarter of grandparents help pay for medical or dental care for their grandchildren.
14. More than half of all grandparents believe they play a very important role in their grandchildren’s lives. What if we could change this to 100% by letting them know?
7. Grandparents Matter
1. Grandparents are incredibly important to their grandkids.
2. Grandparents are uniquely positioned to spiritually influence their grandkids.
3. Grandparents have a Biblical mandate to do so.
4. Have you ever wondered why God designed for the family to have 2 parents & 4 grandparents? Maybe parents really do need more support? What would happen if the church can come alongside grandparents and grad-friends to help bear this burden?
8. If God designed the role of Parent & Grandparent what was His purpose?
1. Deuteronomy 6:1-7 These are the commands, decrees and laws the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, promised you. 4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
2. Deuteronomy 4:9 “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”
3. Have you ever thought that the purpose of every Jewish celebration, Holiday and Feast day can be summed up in one thing; “Remember what the Lord has done, and teach it to your children.”
All Jewish Holidays & Feasts can be summed up in one thing “Remember what I’ve done & teach it to your children!”
Write down God stories on the back of pictures or else those memories and God stories will be gone when grandparents pass away. Pass those God stories on. If you don’t get intentional then your whole families Biblical history can be lost with the passing of the patriarchs.
9. Grandparents must be intentional to pass on their family’s God Story to future generations! (Sparrow & Rhythm’s story)
10. The Church & Home have a Grand partner and it’s time that we invite them to the conversation.
11. Service is over but church is not…
(Why do parents & grandparents want better for their children in every area except spiritual things?)
12. We must recalibrate how the church & the homework together
1. Old model: The church teaches & the home reinforce.
2. New model: The home teaches & the church reinforce.
In the Family Ministry Movement, we talk a lot about partnering with parents but what if we realized the Church & the Home have another partner…Grandparents?
Service is over, church is not.
13. We must recalibrate Grandparenting
1. Old model: Spoil, send home all hyped up, my house, my rules.
2. New model: Train, all in, partner, same rules, transfer faith.
14. How do we start the recalibration process within the church?
1. Start the conversations…
2. Encourage mentoring, seek out Grandfriends…
3. Start a small group or Sunday School Class
4. Offer Grandparenting classes. (Close/Distance)
5. Offer technology training (involve the youth)
6. Include Grandparents in child dedications…
7. Offer multigenerational events church-wide
8. Offer Grandparent events & activities
9. Present Grandparents Bibles to pass on…
10. Throw first-time Grandparents a Baby Shower
11. Encourage older adults in serving in kids & youth
12. Join the Legacy Coalition! (www.legacycoalition.com)
15. Deuteronomy 4:9 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.
16. BE INTENTIONAL AT CHURCH & HOME!
Write down your own God story.
Start conversations with your church and let this be part of the partnering verbiage that comes from your pulpit.
We as the church pass on the faith and make disciples.
Breakout 3 – Lena Wooten – @Lena_W
Developing a Thriving Family Ministry
1/168 – If we are lucky families are in church 1 hour of the 168 hour week. What are we doing to make disciples during the other 167 hours?
1. Integrated Family Curriculum
Birth through Grandparenting.
D6, Orange, David C. Cook, LifeWay, and others.
2. Email and Social Media
D6 Family App is a great resource for families. Family Fun Questions.
Splink: Spiritual Linking. Help families spiritually link to each other regardless of their age. A free resource to start spiritual conversations.
3. Family Events
InstaHunt – Instagram Scavenger Hunt. Gave papers after church with things for the family to go do and post. Take items and spell out your families last name. Reenact a scene from frozen, etc. Use the church hashtag. Gather at 5:00 and eat ice cream where the photos shared based on a hashtag on the screen.
Gingerbread House Making Party – at a local elementary gathered empty milk cartons for the base of the house. Gram crackers, icings, candy, and let kids sit with their families to decorate the houses.
Family Camp Out – at the church on a Saturday Night. Smores, hot dogs, and then go into church together smelling like a campfire.
Share the Bible App Devotionals.
52 Creative Family Time Devotions – 1 a week for a year and things around the house that can be done in under 5 minutes.
Being pulled in so many directions is torture.
Ministry is full of Discipleship, vision, lessons, leaders, events, budgets, stages, small groups, volunteers, meetings, teaching, curriculum, supplies, etc… What if there were resources to help you? Pain points for parents.
Volunteer Training – Give the info and then in the P.S. include a quick info tip they need to see.
Parent toolboxes being printed in snail mail. Magnet sent to the family as a reminder for spiritual conversations.
Your volunteers are ministers, not babysitters. Communicate this to them and help them buy into the value of this position.
6. Parenting Seminar
Right Now Media has resources if you are not able to bring someone in.
FamJam – Sunday after church. Lunch provided. Jim Wideman and Dr. Ron Hunter came in to teach. Free event. Children’s classes covered by teenagers who made money. 45 minutes each and workshops by people in the church. Marriage, preschool, young adults, etc.
7. Parenting Resource Hub
An area in the church for parents to find recourses.
Creating a Parenting Resource Center in Your Church on a Budget – https://d6family.com/creating-a-parenting-resource-center-in-your-church-on-a-budget/
8. Family Fun Nights
Give a giant list of ideas:
Have a family devotional
Build a snowman
Pack a picnic
Go on a family bike ride
Fly a kite
Make a bird feeder
Watch old home movies
Hang out around the fire-pit
Read a book together
Pull out sleeping bags and have an indoor campout
Roast marshmallows in your fireplace and make s’mores
Throwball in the back yard
Have a Nerf battle
Go ice skating
Shoot some hoops
Have a dance party
Pitch a tent in your back yard
Make a fort in your living room
Draw a family portrait
Paint a picture to hang in your home
Play hide and seek
Make homemade ice cream
Have an outdoor movie night
Go to Goodwill and pick out an outfit for each other to wear
Make play dough creations
Go on a hike
Play four square
Do a puzzle
Make a time capsule
Watch the sunset
Have a craft night
Look at family photo albums together
Make your own pizza night
Have a lip sync battle
Write letters to each other
Plant a garden
Make a meal for someone who is sick
Play Frisbee together
Create sidewalk chalk masterpieces
Make a craft from Pinterest together
You do not have to be a parent to disciple children.
Breakout 4 – Michayla White – @michaylawhite
Developing Spiritual Practices in Children
Michayla’s Calling: Shape the future of the Church by connecting leaders who serve kids and families to what they need.
Key factors for spiritual formation.
Foundations for Discipleship of Children
What happens when a child comes to faith in Jesus?
New Creation – The old has passed away, the new has come! They have been given righteousness through faith in Jesus Christ.
Coheirs with Christ – Sons, daughters, with full rights of a natural heir.
Peace with God – They have peace with the Holy God of the universe through His blameless son, Jesus Christ.
The indwelling of the Holy Spirit – God’s love has been poured into their hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to them.
Spiritual Gifts – They have spiritual gifts to share with the Body as evidence of God’s grace to all of us.
Conquerors – They are more than conquerors through Him who loves them.
Prepared in Advance to Bring Him glory – Before the foundations of the earth was laid, they were prepared for the glory of the Lord!
Fellow Disciples – When a child comes to Jesus, they are welcomed by God and are fellow disciples with us.
Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! “Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?” “Who has ever given to God, that God should repay them?” For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.
The proper response to the Gospel is praise.
Do they really understand what they’re doing?
This is His work we are invited to participate in.
“Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.” Romans 10:17
If a child is truly trusting in Christ, his fruit will be evident over time.
Passing on the knowledge of God is a community mandate to all believers.
What does it look like for us to nurture thriving relationships with Jesus?
If we are not careful, we can unwittingly pass on facts to our kids, and fail to pass on faith.
Romans 8: 27-29
“And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.”
One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
“Christian spiritual formation for children is the lifelong process by which the Holy Spirit serves as the child’s teacher, deepening the child’s relationship with God, transforming the child into Christlikeness, generating an overflow of love toward God and others.”
From Kidz At Heart Intl.
The fruit of Christian spiritual formation for kids is Christlikeness and this can coincide with their development.
The child’s view of God is started at conception.
Psalm 51:6 “Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place.”
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Knowledge isn’t necessarily sufficient evidence of spiritual health. Are you growing in love for God and others?
Know God’s story – Follow his instructions
We demonstrate spiritual formation.
This is a whole lifelong process. We are formed every day, either spiritually or not.
We are drawn to the way of Jesus or we are drawn another way.
The world and the enemy is actively opposed to the Christian spiritual formation of children…It desires to create a spiritual life that is asleep or directly opposed to the hope and love and intimacy of Jesus.
The Kingdom of God needs to be their worldview-not the temporary, fleeting, empty narrative of the world; but the eternal, satisfying, and FULL narrative of the gospel.
Who God is, who we are, and the extent Jesus took to bring us back to Him.
A demonstration of balance on one foot and being knocked over. Then being protected. Then being surrounded. With an even bigger circle, there was more protection. What did you see going on here? Everyone in the community brings the best opportunity to stay standing. Healthy relationships. Adults can only take children where they are going themselves. A side by side journey together.
Believing the right things and doing the right things vs. falling in love with Jesus.
If you are in love with Jesus how did that happen? What’s your story? What made the difference for you? Communication, time, presence, sacrifice, mercy, forgiveness. The same things that grew your relationship with your spouse.
Environments and Experience
The pace of life is a big issue today. Over-scheduled. They need models that show the pace of a disciple. Evaluate the pace of our home and maybe even Sunday morning. Focused or distracting environments. Learning requires us to create an environment but making space for children to connect with God is another thing entirely.
Utilize multiple intelligence.
Include the Holy Spirit as teacher and trust Him. What if we invited the children to listen to God more than to us?
Allow the Holy Spirit to help the child to make connections.
What is discipleship?
Emulation – A disciple’s actions were expected to be consonant with his rabbi.
Diligence – Diligent in observing, diligent in learning from, and consistent in practicing what their rabbi practiced.
Much more than feeling and much more than a set of actions, it was a commitment to look like Him and walk like Him.
Scripture – reading or hearing and trusting the God-breathed words of Scripture as our guide and source for life.
Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.
For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
We need to make sure that they see how much we love the Word and that we love taking the time to read it. Make sure there are age-appropriate Bibles in the house.
Ask: Did God ask you to do something. Invite their response to that scripture.
Ask: What do you think you should do having heard that scripture? Internalize the word.
At church help them by encouraging their imagination and act it out. Don’t micromanage this part.
Say, imagine what it would be like to _____. Get them to wonder why. Encourage curiosity. Don’t be afraid if things don’t go as planned.
Small groups where they read the passage together. Slow them down in their pace of reading through the scripture. Have them repeat it multiple times. It’s not how much of the scripture we can get through but how much of the scripture is getting through to them.
Prayer – hang continual conversations with God.
Mark 14:35-36, 39
Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” Once more he went away and prayed the same thing.
John 11:1-13 Lazarus
Draw pictures of those who you want to remember to pray for.
Writers can start prayer journals
You can go on a prayer walk as a family. Point those things out. Ask the kids to point them out.
Fill in the blank prayer is a great practice. “Today I want to thank God for _______.” Today, God I am worried about _______. Today God I wonder about _______.
Worship – declaring the greatness of the Father and demonstrating love for the King.
Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.
“When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.”
More than just singing, is there anything you see about how great God is. Worship is public and private. When you realize there is something you are thankful with God about, name it there.
Ask: What did you notice about God today?
Break up worship at your church. Worship response station. A blessing station with printed promises of God. Pull one, read it, and ask how it makes you feel about God.
Service – overflowing with His love and compassion to others in the form of action especially those in need.
This doesn’t work unless you are modeling it first. If our hearts aren’t overflowing it will be impossible to model and it’s a costly habit in that it requires us to give up ourselves.
Let one another go first. Give someone else the bigger cookie.
Not just the behavior but talk them through the why and how it connects to their hearts.
Serve in the community and in the church.
Sharing the Gospel – sharing the gift of the gospel generally in the power of the Spirit.
Are you making time for people?
Are you inviting your neighbors into their house?
Are you looking people in the eye when ordering food?
Encourage your kids to smile at people. Ask your kids to help you see people. Pray together to see what God wants us to see. Team up in sharing the Gospel.
What hope do you have now for the future now that you believe in Jesus?
Think about kids they know that do not know Jesus. Ask God to help them share that love.
How are we as a whole changed by the presence and participation of children in the discipleship journey?
“Teaching and passing on