Notes from #OC17 Breakouts: Amber Baker, Jim Wideman, Nick Blevins, Chad Ward, Sherry Surratt and Brad Griffin

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Leading Your Team for the Long Haul – Amber Baker @AmberDBaker

We want to see teams of people stick together longer than 18 months. At 18 months it becomes hard. Stick it out. As a leader, you get momentum. How do you create this team that sticks together? A group of people working together for a mutual goal!

To lead for the long haul you need transformational leadership.

The team feels trust, admiration, loyalty, and respect towards the leader, and they are motivated to do more than they originally expected to do.

Theory:

Idealized influence – the leader becomes a role model who is admired, respected, and emulated by followers. You need a sense of charisma. Figure out how, get coaching if you need charisma. Leadership is influence.

Inspirational Motivation – leader inspires and motivate others by providing meaning and challenge to their followers work. Talk about why they do what they do. Explain the why. Not a craft to fill the time but why this craft is important. How does this really make a difference?

Individualized Stimulation – leaders behavior that encourages followers creativity and stimulates innovative thinking. Collective of the group. Do people have a voice collectively? Bring people in to be part of the process and have a voice on the team. Intellectually stimulation.

Individualized Consideration – leaders play a role in developing team members potential and pays attention to their individual needs for achievement and growth. Coaching. Have you actually said, this is how you want it done or said? This coaching takes a lot more work.

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Practice:

1. Know your team.

Not know their job but know their personality, temperament, and how it works together. Real Colors Assessment https://realcolors.org

Golds: Plans ahead; likes checking off items on the “to-do” list

Pushes to have things decided and settled

Sets deadlines and expect them to be met

Gives and likes to receive precise directions and instructions

Punctual, Organized, Value Rules

Green: Tries to convince others by logic and objective arguments; uses words like principle, logical, standards, analysis.

Appear most comfortable with topics not related to feelings or relationships

Has a small number of deep friendships.

Pauses before answering or giving information

Values independence and time alone

need information and questions answered

Research Oriented.

Blue: Talks about possibilities more than what exists

Likes to do things in a new ways; dislikes routine

Is upset by conflict or disharmony

Shows concern for the feelings of others

Choose a tactful comment over a directly truthful one.

Values family – who is your family?

Orange: Uses words like flexible, adapt, evolving, and spontaneous

Does work in a way that makes the process enjoyable

Shows physical energy in body language, facial expressions, and voice.

Acts or speaks quickly, sometimes without thinking.

Works easily with several other things going on.

Values fun, independence, challenges.

Rules are guidelines – can be broken.

We need one another and we need to understand one another.

It’s important to speak in a way that others can hear.

Greens are great at getting to the why. Why are we doing this in the first place.

Blue wants everyone to be connected and part of them.

Oranges help push the boundaries that Gold are lining up.

Recent studies who that individuals who are more aware of team roles and behavior required for each role perform better than individuals that do not. Give job descriptors. Outline expectations.

Getting the right people and the right chemistry is important.

2. Boundaries

Set boundaries on: Phones, emails, social media, day’s off, time with the Lord, family time.

No phones at the table. Set boundaries on yourself and encourage your team to do the same.

Professionals who are on their device tend to work 70 hours a week.

Set and keep our days off.

Monday morning time away with the Lord. Coffee shop, library, outside. Time actively with God.

3. 80% with 20%

20% of your people do 80% of your work.

Spend 80% of your time with the 20%.

High Impact Leadership

*Create a list of my 20% people.

4. Leading change well

Change can evoke excitement or fear.

As a transformation leader, you need to get out in front of change. Talk abut chance and the why of that change.

Coach and do things well.

3 types of leaders in change
The yes man.

The bulldozer

The path. guide them through the process of change. Influence, motivate, stimulate the brains for creative ways to change, and coach them through it.

Industry Output Over time – Change Model

Introduction, growth, maturing, decline.

As maturity is happening, it’s time to change and grow.

Read the Stretch book by Jim Wideman.

5. Have FUN together

Even if you are not fun, find a way to have fun.

Christmas open house.

Coffee Breaks

Notes Home

Go do something fun and play together.

Dig deep and become a motivator.

The Holy Spirit speaks to us, and when we ask for wisdom He gives it to us.

Any of our great long-term volunteers started with relationships.
I believe God is calling us to the serve on sit one, Mary and Martha principle.

You can only do what you can do. God sees this, knows your heart, and will give you strategies for that.

As soon as you have information out ahead, give them some information to help lead them through the change process. They might even be able to help you through these steps of change.

abaker@grace-church.com

AmberBaker.me

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A Couple of Ministry Hacks – Jim Wideman and Nick Blevins @jimwideman @nickblevins

Busy is a word that changes as you are in ministry. Big and Busy are relative words.

Refers to any trick, shortcut, skill, or novelty method that increases productivity and efficiency, in all walks of life.

People make more money by how much stress they are over. Janitor vs Surgeon. Learn how to take care and measure stress. Have stress relievers.

Experience is the best teacher but it doesn’t have to be your own experience.

The right tools make a difference.

Anything you are good at, you had to learn to do. Some things come easier to us.

Organization: The vehicle that causes me to get everything done in my life and

causes me to be ready for more

Organization + Order = management

Proverbs 28:2 When a country is rebellious, it has many rulers, but a man of understanding and knowledge maintains order.

Calendars are like lawnmowers. When you reach a certain size lawn you need a bigger mower.

The size and the church you want to have not the one you have.
Work on the life you want to have not the life you currently have.

Unless someone is getting, save, healed, you see a hand writing on the wall, or you hear the voice of God, the meeting will last one hour or less.

Theme days – specific focus on specific days (helpful for managing multiple areas or focus on the type of work – meetings, admin, etc.

If I keep moving things from my list to another week, ask am I really the person to do this in the first place?

If you’ll do when you’re small what you are forced to do when you’re big, you’ll get big! Dr. Roy Hicks

Sandbox concept

Language to help talk about what is within your decision making authority and what is not.

We should be pushing to widen their sandbox.

Designate a date night as well as a family time. You might need to rearrange this, but keep it a priority. Do you plan your family activities before you plan your church activities? What does this say about your priorities?

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Moving Kids to be Neighbor Minded – Chad Ward @chadlward

We all need God to be right in the center of it, guiding everything we do.

What are we doing really, to lay the foundation so that our children are for our neighbors?

Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it.” Train, or show. Model. Time, repetition in training. Watch me do what I do, now you. Your turn.

It’s hard for a child to look beyond themselves, just as it’s hard for me to look beyond myself.

1. Create meaningful generosity and compassion opportunities. Matthew 9:36 when he saw the crowds He had compassion on them.

Ask the right questions to the right people and then listen to their answers.

January: Partner with the church for canned goods. We want your children to go to their pantry so they can start the process of being generous.

Spring break: missions trip with young kids really having an impact.

June: Summer series. Invest and invite. Give event: Quarters for camp.

July: Backpack drive. Because so many kids are homeless or no parental involvement.

Celebrate on the back end so people know why we do this.

2. Create meaningful invest and invite opportunities.

Easy ask

We want families to fight because they want to come to church.

The challenge that I see in most churches is a lot of calendars that are full but without purpose.

What can we stop doing to make Sunday better?

What is one event we can do this year to help young people be for their neighbors. Invest/Invite

Walk your space and ask yourself how it works and looks from a guest services perspective. Fresh? Fun?

Andy Stanley one-sentence job description: Create a safe, irresistible, life-changing elementary environment.

KidStuff: Learn about God’s big ideas. Everything you need to apply the big idea at home.

Baptism Bash.

Game On:

3. Create meaningful conversation opportunities.

Dives into the heart of everything they are thinking.

26 of 36 bottom lines are focused on diving into discussions to be for our neighbors.

Live to Give

Small groups – understand the impact you are making in kids. Does this help them when it comes to watch me, do what I do, your turn when it comes to being for their neighbors.

Take homes: Why and how?

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Reactivating Parents Every Week – Sherry Surratt @SherrySurratt

Have those moments when you feel that God is looking at you, tapping you on the shoulder, and speaking to you.

“The things that you are doing today are impacting someone else’s eternity.”

What we do every week with the parent’s impacts what they do every day with their child.

Less than 20% of your parents will come when you offer events for parents.

Families are busy but they are not too busy.

It’s not that they don’t care.

Every parent wants to be a better parent.

Every parent has dreams for their kids.

Every parent can do something more. Here’s the reality, many times they don’t know that.

That feeling of overwhelmed or stuck is miserable. Do you know how many parents are feeling that?

“I wish for the love of God that someone would teach me how to be a mom.”

We can show them.

When the church change show it views parents, parents change how they view the church.

Expectations are huge.

When we believe that they really do what to be a better parent, it changes our expectations.

Give it to them in easy bites.

One of the best things you can do for your ministry is to put yourself in the shoes of a single mom with eight kids. Really learned the definition of being overwhelmed.

What happens during the week really IS more important.

Parents have the math on their side. 3k hours of influence in kids vs 40 (or less)

The average family comes to church 1.8x per month.

When parents understand how much time they have left, they tend to do more with the time they have now.

We need to equip a parent to drop everything they are doing for ‘their time’ because these times come less and less and less as kids grow older.

Start early with a parent and help them understand you parental influence goes down and your relational influence goes up.

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The High School years are the “you can” years.

Seize today because your positional influence is going down every year. You need to work hard to build your relational influence.

Enter into their world.

If you’re not that family (that goes out and does this big grand thing) that’s okay, because you are consistent over time.

3 strategic shifts.

1. Work according to their schedule, not ours.

Hard because the church has an annual rhythm.

How can we develop a rhythm for the year?

What is my child going to do for the summer?

What are the 3 questions your child is asking right now? (Phase event name)

2. Coach rhythmically, not sporadically.

Consistency over time.

3. Speak specifically, not generally.

Let them know what to do, what to say, or what to ask at specific times.

Parent Cue pieces.

Parent Resource Wall

Conversation Guides. (next one up is health)

Parent cue app

Here at Orange, we love to set you up to look really really good.

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Reimagining Senior Sunday – Brad M. Griffin @bgriffinfyi

Sometimes we elevate the wrong stories or the wrong parts of the stories in this phase.

1 in 2 drift from God and the faith in the first 12-18 months after leaving high school.

4 of 5 intend to cross well.

At the precise moment, they need the support of community most0when they are making significant life decisions we are missing the mark.

We believe in young people and we believe in the church. We want to see faith-filled young people unleashed to change the world.

Text “Free” to 44144 and receive 3 free resources from Fuller Youth Institute.

Only 1 in 7 students felt prepared to what faced them specifically when it came to their faith.

#1 advice to youth leaders was to prepare us better.

Thread that runs through preparation: Identity Development (true in all phases)

Identity: Who am I? Shame based responses. / Grace

Belonging: Where do I fit? Conditional acceptance. / Love
Purpose: What difference do I make? Self-fulfillment. / Mission

The better story always wins.

Faith and Faithing: Is faith only a noun, or also a verb?

Not an event but a process. Starting at, at least the beginning of the senior year.

9 months out: Begin conversations about what’s next beyond high school. *what does it look like to be part of the church next year?

6 months: connect students with more adults outside youth ministry

* the walk of shame from high school ministry to young adults where they don’t know anyone. retreat or missions trip with college ministry. Let parents know what is coming up.

5-3 months: Family communication about transition and dates.

2 months: Plan pre0and post graduation events with students and leaders.

6 weeks: Face to face parent

4 weeks: Host your senior event before graduation: Party and traditions

Transition summer: SGL conversations and family cues

*Orange resource coming at OC tour for senior Sunday.

More conversations and more relevant topics.

Finding faith community and making new friends.

Getting connected with a campus ministry really does make a difference.

Those who don’t find somewhere to connect within the first few weeks probably won’t.

These seniors haven’t practiced friend building skills in years. They have a group. Who do you want to surround yourself with these next few year’s. When they have choosing power, they don’t know what to do with that. Who is close, convenient, or making the most noise.

Deciding about parties: Especially in the first two weeks set the trajectory for the next years.

Help them decide ahead of time. Will you go to the party? Will you hold the cup? Will you have something in the cup? Will you drink what is in that cup? How many will you drink? Role-play these decisions so they don’t fall into decisions.

The first two weeks of freshman year and the first two weeks of senior year are when students are most open to spiritual conversations.

Managing Time and Money

Help them think through it

Give tools

No one is going to tell the new student when to go home. You have to make the decision in the middle of the night. Managing time is one of the biggest stressors.

Handling Emerging Doubts

Magazine: Hold up finger behind his back. Does God know about the hurting? Steve. Jobs.

It’s not doubt that’s toxic to faith. It’s silence or unexpressed doubt.

“I don’t know but” is a great response to doubt.

“I’m so glad you asked.” “You’re not the first person to ask this question.”

Their questions doesn’t offend you or God. Keep expressing.

Navigating Changing Relationships

Parents are trying hard and they need help navigate this transition also.

Is it okay to text my parents every day at college?

Parents are feeling grief and loss and they need to be needed.

Teach practical skills

Meet at laundry mat with dirty laundry and quarters. Talk how to do laundry as well as other issues they are going to be facing. One less issue to worry about.

New ideas for family and grad dinner. Give them things to talk about. Help them think through that moment as a time of blessing. They might want to get out of there so manage expectations. What would be meaningful and what would be too much.

Give them leads

Help campus ministry people know who your people are.

Let the students know where to go. campus ministry and churches.

Help parents visit a church and talk with a campus ministry leader when they go visit.

Students and leaders

Stay in touch

Contact from a youth leader or adult from the church is significant.

The power of reaching out: When teenagers leave home, we hope their faith will stick. *video by Kara and Fuller

In a digital world, real cookies speak volumes.

Cookies, coffee gift card, praying for you note.

Jump on FaceTime and reach out to college students when around other students.

Pray. Take a picture of the youth group or church praying for the students who are away. Send them a printed picture with a note. Have people sign them.

Consider 4+1

Not add another year of high school ministry just think about that year intentionally.

Small group leaders, don’t recycle back but ask them to stay with that group one more year whatever that looks like.  Connect and cheer on. Connect with mentors. Intentional plan.

Lame grad gifts that no one used and books no one read, music no one listened to. Instead, Starbucks gift cards, use this to have some significant conversations this summer. Take out your parents, small group leader or whoever and kickstart conversations about your future.

One number in your phone you can always contact no matter what.

What’s the one relationship where you never have to lie.

How will we respond when they fail?

Senior Sunday: Not goodbye but hello world.

 

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